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VIDEO: Saturn's demise? We blame Jim Gaffigan*

Click above to view the video after the jump
When the deal to sell Saturn to Penske Automotive fell through, there were likely a lot of surprised people at General Motors' Detroit, MI headquarters. Penske released a statement saying that the reason the deal fell through after months of good faith negotiations was that a suitable post-GM supply of vehicles could not be found. However, after reacquainting ourselves with over eight minutes of outtakes from Jim Gaffigan's old Saturn commercial, we're thinking the comedic pitchman is to blame.

Junkyard Gem: 2008 Saturn Astra XR 3-Door Hatchback

GM's Saturn brand spent the first part of the 2000s shifting over to vehicles on global corporate platforms, then spent the second half of the decade increasingly flailing for relevance as The General itself struggled to stay upright. By 2008, prospects for Saturn— and the American economy in general— didn't look so great, but that was the first model year for the Saturn-badged Opel Astra in North America. The announcement that the axe would be falling on Saturn came the following year, soon after GM declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy, and so 2009 became the final year for the Saturn Astra. Some MY2010 Saturns were sold (the Sky, Outlook, and Aura), but the Astra shares the dubious honor of the shortest Saturn sales run with the long-forgotten Saturn Relay minivan. For this reason, I keep my junkyard eye open for discarded Astras, and finally found this very clean '08 three-door in a Denver self-service yard last week. The Astra could be purchased with three doors or five, in two very similar trim levels. This car is the three-door, which was available only in semi-high-zoot XR trim. I'm not sure if the Opel Astra got these GM "Mark of Excellence" fender badges, but all American-market 2005-2009 GM vehicles have them (not counting stuff bearing the crypto-GM Suzuki badge). I've got dozens of these badges glued to my garage wall, because why not? Just one engine was available in the Saturn Astra: a 1.8-liter Ecotec four rated at 138 horsepower. The Ecotec has proven to be an unusually reliable engine, but I suspect that this one died in some expensive manner (because the rest of the car looks so nice) and that's why the car is here now. The base transmission in the Astra was a five-on-the-floor manual, and that's what this car has. The four-speed automatic cost an extra $1,325 on an $18,375 car (that's about  $1,765 on a $24,475 car in 2022 dollars), so either the original purchaser of this car preferred three-pedal driving or was just a cheapskate. I haven't seen enough junkyard Astras to know if the manual transmission is very rare in these cars; the five-door I found a few years back had the automatic. Presumably, an American car shopper looking for the European-style driving experience of an Opel might prefer the manual. Built in Antwerp, Belgium! As this was just a rebadged Opel, the Astra did not have the standard GM radio faceplate found in everything from the Chevrolet Equinox to the Saab 9-3.

Car thief lands Saturn on Fresno roof

Residents of a Fresno, California apartment building recently awoke to debris falling from their ceiling after a car thief managed to execute a perfect parking job on the structure's roof. Police say 26-year-old Benjamin Tucker stole the Saturn sedan from a nearby house before striking either a curb or some rocks, vaulting the vehicle into the air and onto the roof. After seeing his predicament, Tucker leapt from the roof and fled the scene. Or at least he tried to. Tucker broke his leg in the fall and only made it around a quarter of a mile from the crash when police picked him up.
No one else was harmed in the stunt.
Tucker had two outstanding warrants for his arrest at the time for a hit-and-run and evading police. A special crane had to be called in to remove the Saturn from the apartment roof and the structure will indeed require repairs. Hit the jump for a news report on the incident.