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Nissan Qashqai getting Juke-R treatment

As long as there are sacred cows, there will be heretics sharpening their knives in anticipation of the butchering. When Nissan first carved into the mighty GT-R to create the Juke-R, onlookers quickly fell into two camps: those who thought the plan was sheer genius and those who believed cannibalizing a GT-R to feed a Juke was a new brand of obscenity. We fell firmly in the former camp. Now Severn Valley Motorsport is looking to take that theme one step further by shoving the go-faster bits from a GT-R into a Nissan Qashqai. That noise you hear? It's us cackling like mad men.
While we can't say for certain, we're guessing the project should yield the world's fastest Qashqai thanks in no small part to the twin-turbocharged VR38DETT V6 engine from the GT-R. Throw in the all-wheel-drive system and the little CUV should change demeanor dramatically. We can't wait to see this thing in action.

Man sells testicle to buy Nissan 370Z

We aren't entirely sure what's stranger about this story - that a man actually sold a vital piece of his manhood for a car, or that he did it for a Nissan 370Z. That's not to discredit the trusty Fairlady, a car we generally like, but that if we were to do what Mark Parisi did and sell one of his testicles to science, we'd be asking for a helluva lot more than $35,000.
But Parisi did just that, and announced live on CBS' The Doctors (we really can't make this up) that the sale of his nut would go towards the purchase of a Z. According to our friends Down Under (Australia, get your mind out of the gutter), $35K is the going rate for one slightly used testicle, so if you get nothing else from this story, gentlemen, know that you have $70,000 swinging between your legs.

Nissan Rogue gives brand rare monthly sales lead over Honda

The five top-selling brands in the automotive industry are usually Ford, Toyota, Chevy, Honda and Nissan, in that order. This lineup emerged intact when counting a year's worth of sales for 2013, and there was no reason to expect it would change at the beginning of 2014. But it did. Thanks to surging sales of its all-new Rogue, Nissan managed to pull ahead of Honda to become the fourth best-selling auto brand in January 2014, selling 81,472 units (an increase of 10.41 percent compared to January 2013) to Honda's 80,808 (a decrease of 3.96 percent).
The Rogue led the way for Nissan, contributing an additional 4,880 units in January compared to the same month last year - a 54.5-percent increase for a grand total of 13,831 units. But the Rogue had help, with the Frontier pickup adding an extra 2,307 units (an 87.9-percent increase), the Juke an extra 1,081 units (a 45.8-percent increase), the Altima an extra 1,051 units (a 4.9-percent increase) and the Maxima an additional 983 units (a 32.9-percent increase). Honda, meanwhile, was hurt by falling sales of the Accord (down 13.9 percent) and Pilot (down 7.6 percent), and stagnant sales of the Civic.
Honda, however, should take pride in the fact that it's luxury division, Acura, outsold Infiniti, Nissan's luxury division, last month - 10,823 units sold to 8,998. That margin of victory was large enough to keep the parent company of American Honda ahead of Nissan North America for the month of January.