2005 Hummer H2 Low Miles on 2040-cars

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Out With A Bang: Hummer dealer giving away free shotgun with every new vehicle purchase

Lynch Hummer dealership in Chesterfield, Missouri - Click above for image gallery
You've heard of art imitating life? Well how about life imitating war? That's another story entirely, but not so far fetched when it comes to the Hummer. The sport-'ute that met the public eye during Operation Desert Storm has all but completely gone through its entire life cycle in the intervening years: first as a military-only vehicle, the original model became available to the public, then GM bought the rights and started churning out pickup-based H2s and H3s, the U.S. armed forces went back Iraq, the original H1 was discontinued and now GM is preparing to wind down the brand entirely. But not before one last pistol-shootin' hoorah, courtesy of the one dealership that arguably sees the truck for what it is more than any other: Lynch Hummer.
The St. Louis-area franchise made headlines last year when they started filling their emptying showroom with gun racks, selling firearms to make up for dwindling sales in the gigantic SUVs. Now the dealership is connecting the dots with a one-of-a-kind promotion: Buy a Hummer, get a free shotgun.

Hummer H2 burns to a crisp; now the owner won't need the hoarded gas

Here's your daily Autoblog public service announcement: Don't hoard gasoline, but if you do, absolutely do not let 20 gallons of it catch fire inside your 2004 Hummer H2. You might end up, as a Florida owner learned the hard way, with a very crispy Hummer. According to CBS affiliate WABI, in Citrus County Fire Rescue was called out to the scene at a Homosassa, Florida, Texaco station yesterday morning. The Hummer owner had just filled four five-gallon jerry cans' worth of fuel and placed them in the back of the vehicle. It's not clear what started the fire, but when emergency crews arrived the SUV was already, as the kids say, fire. The vehicle was a total loss. Photos show it completely singed and missing the hood and windows. One fender sat forlornly on the ground nearby. One injury was reported, but the individual refused to be taken to the hospital. The Florida Department of Environmental Protection was called in to handle the fuel cleanup. There's been a run on gasoline across the eastern seaboard due to a shortage caused by Colonial Pipeline, one of the major refined petroleum pipelines on the East Coast. Due to lax cybersecurity measures, the company fell victim to a ransomware attack, which shut down its operations over the weekend. Hackers based in Russia demanded a payout of $5 million to release control of Colonial Pipeline's computer systems, and Colonial paid up and has since resumed operations. Between fires, fights and admonitions by politicians not to hoard — probably one of the few things Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis and President Joe Biden agree on — that's probably good advice to follow. Gas stations should be resupplied in many affected areas within days. In Tampa, Florida, a third of the city's gas stations were out of fuel on Thursday. In Miami, outages stood at nearly 40% and growing as residents rapidly filled up their tanks. The outages would make sense if the largest U.S. gasoline pipeline served those cities. But it does not. South Florida is seeing the worst outages among areas not directly impacted by the line closure. "If you want a perfect case for where hoarding has made the situation what it is, that's southern Florida," said Patrick De Haan, head of petroleum analysis at GasBuddy. "They should not be having any issues at all - they get gasoline from a barge." Statewide, about a third of gas stations are out of product, according to GasBuddy.

Are orphan cars better deals?

Most folks don't know a Saturn Aura from an Oldsmobile Aurora. Those of you who are immersed in the labyrinth of automobilia know that both cars were testaments to the mediocrity that was pre-bankruptcy General Motors, and that both brands are now long gone. But everybody else? Not so much. By the same token, there are some excellent cars and trucks that don't raise an eyebrow simply because they were sold under brands that are no longer being marketed. Orphan brands no longer get any marketing love, and because of that they can be alarmingly cheap. Case in point, take a look at how a 2010 Saturn Outlook compares with its siblings, the GMC Acadia and Buick Enclave. According to the Manheim Market Report, the Saturn will sell at a wholesale auto auction for around $3,500 less than the comparably equipped Buick or GMC. Part of the reason for this price gap is that most large independent dealerships, such as Carmax, make it a point to avoid buying cars with orphaned badges. Right now if you go to Carmax's site, you'll find that there are more models from Toyota's Scion sub-brand than Mercury, Saab, Pontiac, Hummer, and Saturn combined. This despite the fact that these brands collectively sold in the millions over the last ten years while Scion has rarely been able to realize a six-figure annual sales figure for most of its history. That is the brutal truth of today's car market. When the chips are down, used-car shoppers are nearly as conservative as their new-car-buying counterparts. Unfamiliarity breeds contempt. Contempt leads to fear. Fear leads to anger, and pretty soon you wind up with an older, beat-up Mazda MX-5 in your driveway instead of looking up a newer Pontiac Solstice or Saturn Sky. There are tons of other reasons why orphan cars have trouble selling in today's market. Worries about the cost of repair and the availability of parts hang over the industry's lost toys like a cloud of dust over Pigpen. Yet any common diagnostic repair database, such as Alldata, will have a complete framework for your car's repair and maintenance, and everyone from junkyards to auto parts stores to eBay and Amazon stock tens of thousands of parts. This makes some orphan cars mindblowingly awesome deals if you're willing to shop in the bargain bins of the used-car market. Consider a Suzuki Kizashi with a manual transmission. No, really.