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24 Hours of Le Mans live update part one

We tasked surfing journalist Rory Parker to watch this year's live stream of the 2016 24 Hours of Le Mans. What follows is an experiment to experience the world's greatest endurance race from the perspective of a motorsports novice with a profanity-laden stream-of-consciousness writing style. Parker lives in Hawaii and spends far more time spearfishing than behind the wheel of a car. Jump ahead to Part Two here, and Part Three here. Big Money and billionaire hobbyists and rockets on wheels. Jets belching French color smoke overhead. Balance of power fuckery. Plenty of water on the ground this morning. Absurdly expensive motorcars lined up in the pissing rain. Fast twitch lunatics behind the wheel. Chomping at the bit. Let's go let's go let's go! Race hasn't even started, Ford #67 maybe dealing with clutch issues. Karma? That beautiful bastard Brad Pitt's out on the track, waving the tricolor flag. It's a standing start in "Noah's Ark" weather and the 2016 24 hours of Le Mans is go! First lap takes place behind the safety car, finished in a record setting 8 minutes 27 seconds. Wrong kind of record maybe, but this is the first time I've set my mind to watching the whole damn race. Feel like I'm part of history. 3:00 AM on Kauai, a little too early for life. Sucking down coffee like a maniac. Don't fall back asleep. Got my hands on four hours of rest, how much more can I need? Better be enough for the next twenty four hours. Gonna get kinda punchy toward the end. Jason Statham on the scene. Four feet of solid muscle, non-existent hairline. Lovely wife peanut gallery sitting next to me calls him the "best race car drive in the world." Not sure if she's serious. Toss up, could go either way. Statham's a funny guy. Heir to the Bruce Willis comedy action crown. Really good in the movie where the fat comedy lady plays a spy. Ford's on the road. Problems with gearbox pressure, apparently. Nearing a half hour in and the safety car is still on the track. Hellish amounts of water on the ground, in the air. Visibility is garbage. Getting better. Twitter wags, "Not with a bang but a whimper." Just building suspense. Mother Nature felt like killing some people today, race officials need to dial back the drivers until it dries a tad. Normal inclination would've seen 'em flying, guaranteed early lap wrecks. Sad news for that bloodthirsty part of my lizard brain I try and keep suppressed. Good news for humanity. #12 in the pit for a bit.

NHTSA closes probes on Jeep Grand Cherokee, Ford Freestar and Mercury Monterey

The Detroit News reports the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration has officially closed its investigations into 2012 Jeep Grand Cherokee, 2004-2005 Ford Freestar and Mercury Monterey models. The separate probes found no issues that pose safety concerns. NHTSA began investigating certain Grand Cherokee SUVs over complaints that power steering hoses could detach during operation, thereby increasing the risk of a vehicle fire. Of the 24 reports of failure, none alleged smoke or fire in the engine bay, and Chrysler has since modified the power steering cooler assembly to reduce the likelihood of the failure.
Meanwhile, certain Ford Freestar and Mercury Monterey vehicles garnered a government probe after receiving complaints that the models were equipped with faulty scissor jacks. The agency had received six reports of the jacks failing or causing injuries, including one incident that resulted in a fatality. But NHTSA says the jack failure rate is similar to those found in other vehicles. In those six cases, the government agency found the jacks were being used for something other than changing a tire, and investigators could not determine whether the emergency brake was set or the rear tires were properly chocked.

Black Zombie electric Mustang launches Blood Shed Motors [w/videos]

As patient zero of Blood Shed Motors, the classic pony car has received a powerful electric transplant. Lightning repeatedly vanquished the darkness like the angriest of strobe lights and thunder shook the building, punctuating the clatter of a heavy Texas rain on the metal roof as the clock ticked away the initial seconds of a rare full moon Friday the 13th. It was then that the Black Zombie came to life for the first time. Beneath the hood of this rust-free 1968 Mustang fastback, a 289-cubic-inch V8 no longer turns gasoline into heat, noise and pollution. As patient zero of Blood Shed Motors, the classic pony car has received a powerful electric transplant, and now boasts twinned Warp 11 DC motors and a pair of fresh Zilla controllers that will serve as the basic blueprint for future vehicles. Dubbed the Zombie 222 drivetrain, the setup will be limited to 750 horsepower in customer's cars to keep the maintenance experience low, and eventually will draw power from a 40-kWh battery pack. In this first example, though, the output is bit more extreme. For one day, at least, they have the 1,500-kW-capable pack that powers the record-setting Swamp Rat 37 racer belonging to Don Garlits and a brief window of opportunity to try it out on a track. Blood Shed Motors is the result of a collaboration between NEDRA co-founder John "Plasma Boy" Wayland, the man who helped bring electric vehicle drag racing to the attention of the world with his unassuming White Zombie Datsun 1200 conversion and Austin, TX business man Mitch Medford, who've put together a small team of experts in their chosen fields. The plan is to build a limited number of muscle car conversions on pristine early Mustang, Camaro, and Barracuda platforms. The plan is to build a limited number of high-quality muscle car conversions on pristine (No restored rust buckets!) early Mustang, Camaro, and Barracuda platforms. Each can be customized according to buyer's wishes and blessed with its own serial number. The price tags will be in the eye-watering $200,000-and-up neighborhood, reflective of the cost and rarity of these cars and the custom nature of the alterations. Of course, you can't just multiply horsepower and add the monster torque that these electric motors put out and expect an antique chassis to hold up.