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Who would win in a race if the Super Bowl teams were cars?

Until the last down is played this Sunday, we will have the annoyance pleasure of listening to analysts bicker between who will win the Super Bowl, not unlike automotive analysts who do the same thing with cars. If I had a dollar for every conversation about what car would win against another on a specific track, I wouldn't be buying the raw avocados this year for my guacamole. Instead I would be purchasing organic avocados and have the guacamole served in a Ferrari-themed bowl. Yes, those exist. Even so, we still watch year after year knowing full well that the pre-game analysis typically adds up to less than what is left over in the chip bowl after the last guest leaves. Let's take a different approach to analysis this year, let's compare these teams to their vehicle equivalent to decide who would win in a fair race. How do you determine a fair race? When I think of a fair race I think of the Nurburgring. A track that is 12.9 miles, has 1,000 feet of elevation change, and is famously nicknamed The Green Hell by famed driver Jackie Stewart. Although your Supra may beat The Flash himself in a straight line, chances are once you push it to the limits on a 12.9-mile track your brakes will smell like a bonfire and your suspension will have gone into cardiac arrest twice. So if we're racing The 'Ring, what are we driving? To best answer that question we must determine what characteristics define these teams. Not being someone who knows more about my fantasy league than my significant other, I can only go off what I have heard from "experts." The Panthers are honestly known for Cam Newton. Cam is a versatile, fast, brash, and fairly young quarterback. He apologizes for nothing and has Ali-like confidence that shows in his choice of Liberace-type attire. Although he looks to be the favorite, he hasn't yet won a Super Bowl and the team's second-half performances are less than climatic. In racing terms, he has won a lot but no one has seen him race in the dark at the 24 Hours of Le Mans. The Panthers have a ton of acceleration, a brand new chassis, and a driver who is hungry for that first big win. On the other side of the track are the Broncos. It seems as though the Broncos are known for two things, a nostalgic quarterback and a defense that could strike fear into a Honey Badger. If the Broncos were just one component of a vehicle they would be the brakes, and these brakes are outfitted for a locomotive.

Meet Shelby Mustang GT500 Miller, Iowa's latest hatchet-wielding criminal

Well, we've found the long-lost cousin of yesterday's Bentley-tattooed criminal from Florida. This is Shelby Mustang GT500 Miller. No, seriously. While his name seems just like the sort of thing we'd expect the Sunshine State to produce, he actually hails from Iowa. Despite coming from the Hawkeye State, Miller was arrested for a decidedly Floridian offense – getting in a bar fight and then returning with a hatchet. The only way this story could be more Florida is if meth, a manatee or bath salts were involved. The fight, which was at the Cheap Seats Sports Bar, started off typically enough, with a verbal argument in the parking lot (please, please let his nemesis be named "Chevrolet Camaro Z/28 Smith"). This, naturally, attracted passing police officers. Things were broken up and some friends took Miller to his home, which was apparently just behind the bar. That's when he returned with the hatchet tucked under his shirt. Miller promptly proceeded to take out the implement of destruction in the bar's bathroom and... forget about it entirely. Fortunately, the police hadn't left the area yet. Not surprisingly, Miller was arrested for a parole violation, as well as public intoxication and going armed with intent. Still, cool name, bro. News Source: Iowa City Press CitizenImage Credit: Polk County Sheriff's OfficeTip: Mike Government/Legal Ford crime shelby iowa

Watch Ken Block's scary Rally America crash from inside the cockpit

Ken Block became famous for his series of Gymkhana videos, but he's a real racer in his own right. Block has competed many rounds in the FIA World Rally Championship and also rallied in the 2013 Rally America series. He nearly won that latter title last year - if not for a massive crash in the final event of the season.
Block and his co-driver Alex Gelsomino went into the Lake Superior Performance Rally needing a win to take the championship. However, missing a clump of dirt on the side of the road and one little word in the pace notes was all it took to catapult Block's Fiesta off the road and into a tumbling accident. Block says his initial reaction was anger because the crash came out of nowhere.
For 2014, Block is joining the FIA World Rallycross Championship for at least three rounds. He'll drive a Ford Fiesta for the Hoonigan Racing Division at the Norwegian, French and Turkish events of the 12-round championship. Former Formula One World Champion Jacques Villeneuve will also compete in the series.