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Project Ugly Horse: Part VI

Solid axle? What solid axle?
I was fully prepared to embark on a seven-day journey down a rabbit hole of broken bolts, internet hearsay and consternation.
This should not have gone this easily. Having a long and checkered history of simple projects punctuated by much wailing and gnashing of knuckles, I was fully prepared to embark on a seven-day journey down a rabbit hole of broken bolts, internet hearsay and consternation when I finally decided to lay hands on the '89 Mustang with the goal of relieving the car of its stock rear axle. Instead, it took less than a full morning's worth of work to carve the old 7.5-inch solid axle from its moorings and mock up something, well, different.

Who would win in a race if the Super Bowl teams were cars?

Until the last down is played this Sunday, we will have the annoyance pleasure of listening to analysts bicker between who will win the Super Bowl, not unlike automotive analysts who do the same thing with cars. If I had a dollar for every conversation about what car would win against another on a specific track, I wouldn't be buying the raw avocados this year for my guacamole. Instead I would be purchasing organic avocados and have the guacamole served in a Ferrari-themed bowl. Yes, those exist. Even so, we still watch year after year knowing full well that the pre-game analysis typically adds up to less than what is left over in the chip bowl after the last guest leaves. Let's take a different approach to analysis this year, let's compare these teams to their vehicle equivalent to decide who would win in a fair race. How do you determine a fair race? When I think of a fair race I think of the Nurburgring. A track that is 12.9 miles, has 1,000 feet of elevation change, and is famously nicknamed The Green Hell by famed driver Jackie Stewart. Although your Supra may beat The Flash himself in a straight line, chances are once you push it to the limits on a 12.9-mile track your brakes will smell like a bonfire and your suspension will have gone into cardiac arrest twice. So if we're racing The 'Ring, what are we driving? To best answer that question we must determine what characteristics define these teams. Not being someone who knows more about my fantasy league than my significant other, I can only go off what I have heard from "experts." The Panthers are honestly known for Cam Newton. Cam is a versatile, fast, brash, and fairly young quarterback. He apologizes for nothing and has Ali-like confidence that shows in his choice of Liberace-type attire. Although he looks to be the favorite, he hasn't yet won a Super Bowl and the team's second-half performances are less than climatic. In racing terms, he has won a lot but no one has seen him race in the dark at the 24 Hours of Le Mans. The Panthers have a ton of acceleration, a brand new chassis, and a driver who is hungry for that first big win. On the other side of the track are the Broncos. It seems as though the Broncos are known for two things, a nostalgic quarterback and a defense that could strike fear into a Honey Badger. If the Broncos were just one component of a vehicle they would be the brakes, and these brakes are outfitted for a locomotive.

Man chases down truck thief and steams it all on Facebook

A Washington man chased down a truck stolen from his family's dealership last Saturday and livestreamed the event on Facebook. According to KOMO, a 2005 Ford F-250 was stolen from Sunrise Auto Sales in Eatonville, Washington on the morning of October 8. Aaron Babcock, who co-owns the small dealership with his father David, told reporters that after reviewing surveillance footage, he later spotted the truck while riding his motorcycle on Webster Road East. "I watched my cameras and found the video of a man lurking around and ending up taking off with my truck," Babcock told KOMO. "Cops came and made a case. Three hours later I was on my motorcycle in Graham, and they drove by me oncoming. It still had dealer stickers on it. It said diesel on the window and it had our dealer plate on it. It stuck out like a sore thumb. It was really easy to see." Once he spotted the stolen Super Duty, he wheeled his bike around and gave chase. He attempted to call 911, but was unsure if the dispatcher heard him due to noise from the wind and the bike's engine. So he fired up Facebook live and started streaming his chase, giving running commentary and updating his location as he chased the slow-moving truck. "I wasn't going to let him get away. I was going to try follow him down. I had no idea what to do," Babcock said. "Nobody could hear me on the phone so I just figured the first thing to do is pull up Facebook live." Babcock's Facebook friends pitched in by calling 911 to report the chase and even jumping in their own cars to follow the truck. At one point, he pulled alongside the truck and recognized both men in the cab. The driver was the man seen lurking around the dealer lot in the surveillance video, and the passenger was an old friend of Babcock's. "I know who you are!" he shouted at them, but the hunkered down and kept driving. Eventually, Babcock lost cell phone signal and the livestream ended. Eatonville police, who by this point were well aware of the incident, caught up with the truck in the 8400 block of 356th Street South in Eatonville. The driver was arrested and the passenger was questioned and released. Both denied stealing the vehicle or knowing it was stolen. Two sets of keys from Sunrise Auto Sales and a stolen credit card were also recovered from the truck. Related Video