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24 Hours of Le Mans live update part one

We tasked surfing journalist Rory Parker to watch this year's live stream of the 2016 24 Hours of Le Mans. What follows is an experiment to experience the world's greatest endurance race from the perspective of a motorsports novice with a profanity-laden stream-of-consciousness writing style. Parker lives in Hawaii and spends far more time spearfishing than behind the wheel of a car. Jump ahead to Part Two here, and Part Three here. Big Money and billionaire hobbyists and rockets on wheels. Jets belching French color smoke overhead. Balance of power fuckery. Plenty of water on the ground this morning. Absurdly expensive motorcars lined up in the pissing rain. Fast twitch lunatics behind the wheel. Chomping at the bit. Let's go let's go let's go! Race hasn't even started, Ford #67 maybe dealing with clutch issues. Karma? That beautiful bastard Brad Pitt's out on the track, waving the tricolor flag. It's a standing start in "Noah's Ark" weather and the 2016 24 hours of Le Mans is go! First lap takes place behind the safety car, finished in a record setting 8 minutes 27 seconds. Wrong kind of record maybe, but this is the first time I've set my mind to watching the whole damn race. Feel like I'm part of history. 3:00 AM on Kauai, a little too early for life. Sucking down coffee like a maniac. Don't fall back asleep. Got my hands on four hours of rest, how much more can I need? Better be enough for the next twenty four hours. Gonna get kinda punchy toward the end. Jason Statham on the scene. Four feet of solid muscle, non-existent hairline. Lovely wife peanut gallery sitting next to me calls him the "best race car drive in the world." Not sure if she's serious. Toss up, could go either way. Statham's a funny guy. Heir to the Bruce Willis comedy action crown. Really good in the movie where the fat comedy lady plays a spy. Ford's on the road. Problems with gearbox pressure, apparently. Nearing a half hour in and the safety car is still on the track. Hellish amounts of water on the ground, in the air. Visibility is garbage. Getting better. Twitter wags, "Not with a bang but a whimper." Just building suspense. Mother Nature felt like killing some people today, race officials need to dial back the drivers until it dries a tad. Normal inclination would've seen 'em flying, guaranteed early lap wrecks. Sad news for that bloodthirsty part of my lizard brain I try and keep suppressed. Good news for humanity. #12 in the pit for a bit.

More Corvette Stingray Factoids: Vanishing panel gaps and 26-mpg LT1

During January's Detroit Auto Show, we managed a longer than expected wandering tag-team interview with C7 Corvette chief engineering exec Tadge Juechter (pictured above), and LT1 engine boss Jordan Lee (pictured below). They are, quite honestly, two of the very nicest bigshot lads to ever walk the engineering corridors of an American manufacturer. Both are enthralled by what they're doing for a day job. So are we.
We've followed the pre-sale anticipation for the Chevrolet C7 Corvette Stingray like an Oreck vacuum yanking every speck of dirt from a well-trampled carpet. Everything is reportable and contains a grain of further knowledge about this dramatically important and cheered-for car, as it continues to be pressured into representing all that is superior about the American dream. The Corvette wears one heavy cloak.
So, most of what was talked about has been expertly reported already right here on Autoblog. But, looking through our notes again, both Jeuchter and Lee added facts to the buzzing mix.

Next-generation GMC Canyon, Chevy Colorado spied together

With the debut of the next-generation GMC Canyon coming in a couple of months (in off-road-ready AT4 guise no less), it's no surprise that both it and the Chevy Colorado are out testing without the heavy coverings of early prototypes. One of our spy photographers caught examples of both trucks with close-fitting vinyl wraps. This gives us a great opportunity to see each pickup more clearly, but also to compare and contrast the designs. From the front, the GMC features a narrower, but seemingly taller grille. At the top are slender lamps. They seem to be daytime running lights, though, and below them are much larger units that will function as the actual headlights. The prototype shown seems to be one of the AT4 variants, based on the lack of a lower air dam and the opened up corners of each bumper. Small fog lights show up in the lower bumper, too. As for the Chevy, its grille is wider, and it blends into the headlights. The lights are at the top of the grille, and they seem to incorporate the actual headlights, not just running lamps. The grille mesh has some interesting detailing, and there are auxiliary lights below the main headlights. This one seems to be a more mainstream Colorado model since it still has a front air dam, possibly a Z71 model, considering the chunky tires. Not surprisingly, the two trucks are very similar from the sides and the rear. They have cabins that look lower, longer and more squared-off than the current models. The fenders look more punched out and aggressive, too. The main differentiator between the Chevy and GMC are the wheel openings. The GMC has sharp corners and the Chevy has more rounded ones, as is the case with the full-size trucks. As previously mentioned, the GMC Canyon AT4 will be revealed this summer, so likely in just a month or two. The Colorado will likely be revealed this summer, too. It's expected that it will use the turbocharged 2.7-liter four-cylinder shared with the Silverado. Naturally, it will be available with two- and four-wheel drive and a variety of trim levels including the AT4 and ZR2 off-road versions. Related video: