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24 Hours of Le Mans live update part one

We tasked surfing journalist Rory Parker to watch this year's live stream of the 2016 24 Hours of Le Mans. What follows is an experiment to experience the world's greatest endurance race from the perspective of a motorsports novice with a profanity-laden stream-of-consciousness writing style. Parker lives in Hawaii and spends far more time spearfishing than behind the wheel of a car. Jump ahead to Part Two here, and Part Three here. Big Money and billionaire hobbyists and rockets on wheels. Jets belching French color smoke overhead. Balance of power fuckery. Plenty of water on the ground this morning. Absurdly expensive motorcars lined up in the pissing rain. Fast twitch lunatics behind the wheel. Chomping at the bit. Let's go let's go let's go! Race hasn't even started, Ford #67 maybe dealing with clutch issues. Karma? That beautiful bastard Brad Pitt's out on the track, waving the tricolor flag. It's a standing start in "Noah's Ark" weather and the 2016 24 hours of Le Mans is go! First lap takes place behind the safety car, finished in a record setting 8 minutes 27 seconds. Wrong kind of record maybe, but this is the first time I've set my mind to watching the whole damn race. Feel like I'm part of history. 3:00 AM on Kauai, a little too early for life. Sucking down coffee like a maniac. Don't fall back asleep. Got my hands on four hours of rest, how much more can I need? Better be enough for the next twenty four hours. Gonna get kinda punchy toward the end. Jason Statham on the scene. Four feet of solid muscle, non-existent hairline. Lovely wife peanut gallery sitting next to me calls him the "best race car drive in the world." Not sure if she's serious. Toss up, could go either way. Statham's a funny guy. Heir to the Bruce Willis comedy action crown. Really good in the movie where the fat comedy lady plays a spy. Ford's on the road. Problems with gearbox pressure, apparently. Nearing a half hour in and the safety car is still on the track. Hellish amounts of water on the ground, in the air. Visibility is garbage. Getting better. Twitter wags, "Not with a bang but a whimper." Just building suspense. Mother Nature felt like killing some people today, race officials need to dial back the drivers until it dries a tad. Normal inclination would've seen 'em flying, guaranteed early lap wrecks. Sad news for that bloodthirsty part of my lizard brain I try and keep suppressed. Good news for humanity. #12 in the pit for a bit.

Indian tuner turns Chevy Optra into Mustang 'Eleanor' replica

If you are a big fan of automotive oddities, this may come as a little treat. If you are a Shelby or Mustang diehard, prepare to have your sensibilities violated.
The master fabricators at BigDaddyCustoms are the minds behind what you see above. At first, it appears to be a slightly misshapen custom Mustang, modeled after "Eleanor" from Gone In 60 Seconds, but upon further examination, something appears to be amiss. In fact, the custom shop, based in India, has created an Eleanor replica grafted upon a lowly Chevrolet Optra. While it may take a second for the Optra to ring a bell, you should recognize its badge-engineered sibling, the Daewoo Lacetti, used on Top Gear.
We don't know what star would opt for the Reasonably Priced Car in Shelby's clothing, but it's clearly someone more concerned with the aesthetic than the performance credentials of this automotive mash-up.

Next-gen Chevy Cruze caught cruising in the cold

Spy photographers have caught what looks like the next-generation Chevrolet Cruze out on snow patrol. The camo could be tricking our eyes, but it look like it has an even tidier, more rounded front end and even lower fenders in relation to the top of the hood. And either a chunk of camo has been wedged between the side mirrors and the doors, or the mirrors are up for revision, too.
The door handles have been moved up the side of the car, leading the way to a rear end that grows a bit in length. If the rumors are true, the coming second-generation Cruze sits on the new D2XX platform that will replace the Delta and Theta platforms at General Motors. A global architecture, the Cruze will be the first to get it, but it will underpin everything from next Chevrolet Volt to the Equinox and could be responsible for 2.5 million units by 2018. The next Cruze is expected to begin production in GM's Lordstown, Ohio plant in the third quarter of 2014.