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Five reasons to love, or hate, the culture of German cars

A few months back, we took a 500-foot view of the culture of American cars, dissecting prides and prejudices on our way to the conclusion that automotive allegiances can be simultaneously embraced and derided. We had so much fun with the narrative that we decided to do it again, this time taking a look at Germany and its world-renowned lineup of automakers, including the likes of Audi, BMW, Mercedes-Benz, Porsche and Volkswagen, among others. Join us below as we discuss the points and counterpoints that make or have made the German auto industry what it is today. And remember, Germany did pretty much invent the automobile, after all... The V12 Engine If America is known for the proliferation of the V8 engine, an argument could be made that Germany owns the V12. Yes, of course, other companies have created V12 engines – Ferrari, Jaguar and Lamborghini immediately come to mind – but the big 12-cylinder powerplants from BMW and Mercedes-Benz, in particular, have proven to be some of the most effortless, luxurious and downright over-built engines the world has ever seen. These days, having 12 cylinders is more a case of wretched excess than ever before, and yet, you can still stroll into your local BMW or Mercedes dealership and get a brand-new 760i, S600 or even an over-the-top G65 AMG, efficiency be damned. Best of all, since the majority of these German powerhouses depreciate as fast as an anchor sinks, nearly any auto enthusiast who dreams of a dozen cylinders can satisfy their carnal desires. Current Star: 2016 Mercedes-Maybach S600 View 28 Photos Diesel Engines Remember how we talked about those glorious V12 engines? Well, you can even get one from Audi that runs on diesel. If your compression-ignition fantasies err more on the side of fuel savings, that's no problem, either. Audi, BMW, Mercedes and Volkswagen have got you covered, with engines starting as small as 800 cubic centimeters (Smart Fortwo). If you want something a little more practical, it's hard to argue with a VW Golf TDI, which will provide plenty of space for you and three of your best friends, plus a fair bit of luggage, all while returning 50-ish miles per gallon. For the purposes of this discussion, we'd rather focus on the asinine levels of torque provided by Germany's high-end diesel engines than the lower-end fuel sippers.

McLaren shoehorned the F1's V12 into a BMW M5 wagon test mule

Automakers are known to utilize preexisting vehicles as test beds for major research and development purposes. But some of the zombie mashups produced in-house can result in pretty interesting combinations. Case in point, when McLaren was developing its BMW-sourced naturally-aspirated 6.1-liter V12 for the legendary F1, the company put the engine in … a BMW M5 wagon? Yup, you read that correctly. ItÂ’s no mystery that the legendary F1 came with a BMW-sourced V12. That "M70" V12 originated from its placement in the E32 7 Series and E31 8 Series “50” models in the 1980s up through the 1990s. The version that went into the F1, however, is more closely related to the M-tuned "S70" V12 found in the E31 850CSI, which was the pseudo M-variant to the 8 Series that wasnÂ’t officially designated an M model. But it did feature full-fledged tuning from the M Division. On "Top Gear" presenter Chris HarrisÂ’ podcast, "Collecting Cars", Harris interviewed David Clark, the former director of McLarenÂ’s cars for both the road and motorsports between 1994 and 1998. Clark revealed that they took an E34 BMW M5 wagon and shoehorned the S70 V12 into its engine bay as the mule for testing the F1Â’s engine. Clark even said he drove the car himself as they were fine-tuning the V12Â’s engine output. YouÂ’re probably wondering, how the heck did that thing fit? But it isnÂ’t that surprising. The E34 5-Series was designed to house either the BMWÂ’s venerable straight-six or the new-at-the-time V8. And there was room enough to house the V12 as well, particularly since BMWÂ’s V12 was essentially two of its “M20” straight-sixes bolted together at the crank in a vee. When Clark was testing the S70 V12 in the wagon, he and his team ended up with the 627 horsepower and 479 pound-feet of torque the F1 became known for. ThatÂ’s nearly twice the power the production M5's 311 hp and 266 lb-ft at the time. Clark also divulged that the actual prototype mule still exists, but itÂ’s in BMWÂ’s secret collection of prototypes, and itÂ’s never been revealed to the public. He does, however, hope that one day, BMW will open its doors and show off the incredible mashup of an automobile. Until then, youÂ’ll have to rely on the few custom engine swaps done by owners to get a taste of what a V12-powered E34 M5 is like. Rumor also has it that McLaren could be working on a new direct F1 successor with help once again from Gordon Murray.

Mini has become the Rover that BMW always wanted

BMW has been working for 20 years to build a successful line of British cars, and on the evidence of the second-generation Mini Clubman, it may have finally done it. That means it's time for all of us to get used to the fact that Minis aren't going to be that small anymore. Case in point is this new Mini Clubman, introduced last month and conspicuous by its size. Many of us who've pointed to BMW's stewardship of Mini as an example of retro done right bemoaned the Countryman subcompact SUV – a concept actually ahead of its time. The Coupe and Roadster, perhaps rightfully, deserved (and received) an eye roll. But now there's a so-called four-door hardtop that went on sale this year and this forthcoming, six-door Clubman that approaches the compact hatchback class in size. These vehicles actually look like practical moves at keeping buyers from defecting to larger cars made by someone else, rather than vain attempts at maximizing investment in a set of parts. And in an interesting twist, Mini is turning into one of its ancestors – minus the feeling of inevitable doom. Many of us were led to believe somewhere since Mini's relaunch about 15 years ago that the brand would be a stepping stone into the greater BMW fold. But in reality, it's done exactly the opposite, creating a parallel brand for those not willing to embrace the BMW image, but leaning heavily on British nostalgia. That was sort of the reasoning used when BMW pulled the Rover Group of England away from a fruitful partnership with Honda in 1994 and absorbed it all. In the consolidate-or-die '90s, it made sense. BMW had a small, but successful, line of sedans. Rover had no success outside of Western Europe (its last US attempt at selling cars, the Sterling, ended three years earlier). Yet its Land Rover line of SUVs was just right for the time and the 35-year-old Mini still had image-conscious clout. With every passing day, the brilliance of BMW's move to abandon Rover in 2000 seems brighter. Even ditching Land Rover made sense in the long run (and probably saved Jaguar in the process). With every passing day, the brilliance of BMW's move to abandon Rover in 2000 seems brighter. During a chat with Mini USA VP David Duncan this summer, it became clear the Mini of the past is probably gone. A small, city-sized Mini is not necessarily off the table, but larger and more profitable models are coming first.