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Audi rumored to buy Alfa Romeo, officials deny it

For more than two years, Volkswagen has been making public statements about its willingness to buy Alfa Romeo and quadruple the Italian brand's sales, and for just as long, Fiat CEO Sergio Marchionne has replied with some version of "Mr. Piëch, drop it." According to a report in Ward's Auto, all that jousting might be over: it claims that sources close to both Marchionne and Audi CEO Rupert Stadler admit that the two are in talks for Audi to buy not just Alfa Romeo, but a production plant in Italy. In fact, a final deal could possibly include partsmaker Magnetti Marelli.
Against that backdrop, a report by German news weekly Stern quotes a Fiat spokesmen as saying it doesn't comment on rumors and an Audi rep has said flatly that "There is no substance in the news." If a sale is being arranged, the timing would seem to point to how eager Fiat is to raise cash to complete its major initiatives. Even though Alfa Romeo continues to delay its return to the US, it just showed off the production version of the 4C at the Geneva Motor Show (shown above) and said that preferred Fiat dealerships here would get them. Then there's Alfa's recently concluded deal with Mazda to develop a roadster based on the next generation MX-5 Miata - a deal that would seem to help both the Italian and Japanese brands.
The monetary issues are troublesome, though. Fiat is taking a beating in the European market and its weak-kneed balance sheet is delaying gotta-have-it products like the Jeep Cherokee. Fiat has been talking to banks about getting money to buy the rest of Chrysler and those financial institutions have also raised issues about debt and cash reserves, and the nasty game of chess Fiat is playing with the United Auto Workers (and now the court system about the portion of Chrysler it doesn't own) could end up blowing another hole in Marchionne's plans. It is possible that this could finally have convinced Fiat to at least see how serious Audi's parent company, Volkswagen, is about buying Alfa Romeo. Or it could be just another rumor.

$1.4B hedge fund suit against Porsche dismissed

Investors have canvassed courts in Europe and the US to repeatedly sue Porsche over its failed attempt to take over Volkswagen in 2008 (see here, and here and here), and they have repeatedly failed to win any cases. You can add another big loss to the tally, with Bloomberg reporting that the Stuttgart Regional Court has dismissed a 1.4-billion euro ($1.95B US) lawsuit, the decision explained by the court's assertion that the investors would have lost on their short bets even if Porsche hadn't misled them.
Examining the hedge funds' motives for stock purchases and the bets that VW share prices would fall, judge Carola Wittig said that the funds didn't base their decisions on the key bits of "misinformation," and instead were participating simply in "highly speculative and naked short selling," only to get caught out.
With other cases still pending, the continued streak of victories bodes well for Porsche's courtroom fortunes, since judges will expect new information to consider overturning precedent. If there is any new info, it could come from the potential criminal cases still outstanding against former CEO Wendelin Wiedeking and CFO Holger Härter, who were both indicted on charges of market manipulation.

Volkswagen and Funny or Die take humorous spin in 2015 Golf

Volkswagen is partnering with Target and Funny or Die in a bizarre ad for the latest Golf starring comedian Rob Huebel, probably best known for his work on Childrens Hospital on Adult Swim.
The commercial is titled The Way Too Helpful Neighbor and stars Huebel as the eponymous neighbor. The challenge is for Huebel to help improve his buddy's apartment before the guy meets his girlfriend's parents for the first time. The obvious way to do that is to slide a new Golf through an actual Target in Texas, while simultaneously showcasing the store's goods and the car's features.
The commercial is airing online now and on TBS during breaks in Conan O'Brien's show, with sneak peaks during other programs on the network. Auto advertising is becoming pretty normal for Funny or Die at this point, though, with the site previously partnering with Fiat for several videos. Check out the ad above and see if you think it works. Scroll down for VW's announcement.