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Even 'basic' girls are tired of their cheating VW Jettas

Well, this didn't take long. Former Volkswagen CEO Martin Winterkorn's office probably hasn't even been packed yet, and the jokes about his scandal-ridden former employer have already begun to fly. Today, we'll be featuring the team from Funny Or Die, which has opted to not only skewer Volkswagen for its TDIsaster, but one of the victims of the company's catastrophe – the 'basic' girl. For those not in the know, "basic," according to Urban Dictionary is an adjective reserved for someone "devoid of defining characteristics that might make a person interesting, extraordinary, or just simply worth devoting time or attention to," and that they are "lacking intelligence and unable to socialize on even an elementary level." And when it comes to basic girls, the Volkswagen Jetta is as ubiquitous as a Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte. But with the VW controversy, basic girls are finding their Jettas aren't so good for their green credentials. So check out Funny Or Die's take on these scorned drivers, in the video above. And fair warning, there's a bit of foul language.

Volkswagen lays off 500 Chattanooga workers

The redesigned Volkswagen Passat has been a decent seller since its debut in 2011, but sales have apparently dropped off enough that the automaker is trimming some of the employees from its Chattanooga, TN assembly plant. According to Automotive News, Volkswagen will be cutting shifts and laying off 500 contracted workers in response to slowing sales.
Currently, the plant has three teams running 10-hour shifts Monday through Saturday, but starting May 13, this will be reduced down to two teams running 10-hour shifts Monday through Thursday. This will be done to reduce dealer inventory (the article says that VW dealers, on average, have a 97-day supply of Passats) and production capacity (currently running at an annual pace of 170,000 units, which is more than the 150,000 annual units the plant was planned to produce).
This, of course, isn't saying that the Passat has been a failure since VW added 200 full-time employees to the plant in February 2012 to keep up with increased demand. The AN article says that automakers frequently overstaff plants during the launch of a new product - or in this case, a new product and a new plant - but eventually reduce the workers as things run smoother and more efficiently.

Weekly Recap: Volkswagen moves forward under Muller

Most stunning was the speed of it all. On the morning of September 18, Volkswagen AG stood atop the automotive world. It was profitable and sold more cars than Toyota and General Motors, its two main rivals for global supremacy. By nightfall, the company would be embroiled in scandal. Revelations the German auto giant cheated on diesel emissions testing in the United States reverberated from Washington to Wolfsburg, Germany. What started out as a problem with 482,000 VWs and Audis in the US exploded into an international scandal. Millions of vehicles have the rigged software, meaning VW broke environmental rules as its cars spewed pollutants all over the world. The fallout began immediately. Volkswagen CEO Martin Winterkorn – one of the most respected and capable executives in the business – apologized on Sunday and Tuesday. On Wednesday he resigned. As the week progressed, the company's stock took a beating and credit agencies threatened to drop their ratings. VW dealers and owners said they felt betrayed. The automaker hired a law firm that defended BP after the Deepwater Horizon oil spill. The EPA is already extending its testing procedures to look for "defeat devices" like the ones used by Volkswagen. On Friday the company announced a major restructuring. Matthias Muller, Porsche's chief for the last five years, took over as CEO of Volkswagen and is charged with picking up the pieces of a shattered company facing regulatory action and lawsuits. With GM, Toyota, and Takata scandals still fresh, Volkswagen will likely experience unprecedented levels of scrutiny. Additionally, VW's markets in the United States, Canada, and Mexico will be combined into a North American region under the leadership of former Skoda boss Winfried Vahland, though US chief executive Michael Horn will stay on. The company is also realigning its brands by specialty and streamlining its board. Firings, government action, restructurings, and international outrage – things that usually build up over months or years – all occurred in about a week. With dizzying speed, Volkswagen's future has changed dramatically. It all happened, it's still happening, so fast. OTHER NEWS & NOTES 2016 Buick Cascada to start at $33,990 Buick hasn't made a convertible in 25 years. That's a whole person who can drink plus a kindergartner. So it's been awhile. Enter the 2016 Buick Cascada. It has top-shelf Opel engineering, slinky design, and it's reasonably priced.