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Report: Saturn owners offered $2,000 to stick with GM products

After its decision to euthanize Oldsmobile, General Motors knows exactly what happens when it mothballs one of its brands: GM loses market share to the competition. The General is trying to stop history from repeating itself with Saturn customers by offering $2,000 on the hood of every car and crossover donning the ringed planet badge. Automotive News says the offer actually started on February 2 and runs until the end of March. To be eligible for the $2,000 bounty Saturn owners must have leased or purchased their Saturn at least six months ago. Interestingly, those owners don't even have to turn in their Saturn to be eligible for the cash.
AN reports that research company R.L. Polk says even before Saturn went on the endangered species list, it lagged other GM nameplates in the all-important aspect of customer retention. The mass exodus from Saturn loyalty predictably intensified at the end of 2008 as customers became anxious over the future of the brand. For its part, GM insists that all Saturn warranties will be upheld and customers looking for service can still go to a GMC, Chevy, Buick or Cadillac dealership.
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Car thief lands Saturn on Fresno roof

Residents of a Fresno, California apartment building recently awoke to debris falling from their ceiling after a car thief managed to execute a perfect parking job on the structure's roof. Police say 26-year-old Benjamin Tucker stole the Saturn sedan from a nearby house before striking either a curb or some rocks, vaulting the vehicle into the air and onto the roof. After seeing his predicament, Tucker leapt from the roof and fled the scene. Or at least he tried to. Tucker broke his leg in the fall and only made it around a quarter of a mile from the crash when police picked him up.
No one else was harmed in the stunt.
Tucker had two outstanding warrants for his arrest at the time for a hit-and-run and evading police. A special crane had to be called in to remove the Saturn from the apartment roof and the structure will indeed require repairs. Hit the jump for a news report on the incident.

Best and Worst GM Cars

Oh yes, because we just love receiving angry letters from devoted Pontiac Grand Am enthusiasts, we have decided to go there. Based on a heated group Slack conversation, the topic came up about the best and worst GM cars. First of all time, and then those currently on sale, and then just mostly a rambling discussion of Oldsmobiles our parents and grandparents owned (or engineered). Eventually, three of us made the video above. Like it? Maybe we can make more. Many awesome GM cars are definitely going unmentioned here, so please let us know your bests and worsts in the comments below. Mostly, it's important to note that this post largely exists as a vehicle for delivering the above video that dives far deeper into GM's greatest hits and biggest flops, specifically those from the 1980s and 1990s. What you'll find below is a collection of our editors identifying a best current and best-of-all-time choice, plus a worst current and worst-of-all-time choice. Comprehensive it is not, but again, comments. -Senior Editor James Riswick Best Current GM Vehicle Chevrolet Corvette We were flying by the seats of our pants a bit in this first outing and my notes were similarly extemporaneous. When it came time to tie it all together on camera, I failed spectacularly. Thank the maker for text, because this gives me the opportunity to perhaps slightly better explain my convoluted reasoning. I chose the C8 Corvette because it's simply overwhelmingly good, and it's merely the baseline from which this generation of Corvette will be expanded.  While the Cadillac CT5-V Blackwing (more on that in a minute) is an amazing snapshot of GM's current performance standing and its little sibling so enraptured me that I went out and bought one, their existence is fleeting. Corvette will live on; forced-induction Cadillac sport sedans, not so much. So while all three are amazing machines when viewed in a vacuum, the Corvette stands above them as both a reflection of GM's current performance credentials and a signpost of what is to come. So, given the choice between the C8 and the 5V-Blackwing right now, I'd choose the C8. In 10 years, when the Blackwing is no longer in production and Corvette is in its 9th generation? Well, that might be a different story. Now, just pretend I said something even remotely that coherent when we get to the part of the video where I try to make an argument for the 5-V Blackwing as best GM car I've ever driven. Or just laugh at me while I ramble incoherently.