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Clever video selling Saturn Ion "sex machine" will catch your eye

"When I think of the most impressive, industry changing, earth shattering vehicles of recent history, the first car that comes to my mind is the 2004 Saturn Ion Coupe." So says Brad Holt of Dallas, Texas. And he's right, clearly. One look at the specific specimen Holt is selling will be enough to convince you that the car "will absolutely tickle every one of your fancies," as claimed by the seller himself.
We suggest you watch the video below to see just how perfectly Holt's sex machine will fit into your life. The end result will no doubt be exactly as Holt ends his video: "You need it. Like a lot." You can also read more info from Brad in an interview here. If only our offices were a little closer to Dallas...

Junkyard Gem: 1996 Saturn SC1

Before the Saturn marque got locked into a downward spiral of muddled brand image and billion-dollar Opel badge engineering, American car shoppers loved Saturns' plastic bodies and fixed-price buying experience. The original SC coupe looked a bit like the Isuzu-built Geo Storm but was a Michigan design and had a smaller price tag, and it sold well. Here's a final-model-year first-generation SC1, languishing in a Denver-area wrecking yard with nearly 300k on the clock. Saturn S-Series cars were simple machines, and many examples held together for the long haul. This one reached the kind of mileage figure you'd expect to see on a Camry or Civic from the same era. I'm not quite sure what's going on here, but I suspect that the car's final owner performed a bit of spray-foam-and-Bondo bodywork when the rear plastic body panels got munched in a crash. The twin-cam Saturn engines made respectable power, but this car has the 100-horse single-cam under the hood. The car weighed a mere 2,282 pounds, though, so it had about the same power-to-weight ratio as the slightly heavier Honda Del Sol, with a much lower price tag ($12,195 for the SC1 versus $15,250 for the Del Sol). With a manual transmission, which this car has, the SC1 was a lot more fun to drive than most frugal commuter cars of its era. It's no Saturn Ion Redline (an example of which I found nearby in the very same wrecking yard), but still an interesting chapter from the tale of the rise and fall of Saturn. When you want a two-door with some spunk, sleep on it first. Yeah, we're puzzled by this ad, too. Featured Gallery Junked 1996 Saturn SC1 View 14 Photos Auto News Saturn Automotive History Coupe

VIDEO: Saturn's demise? We blame Jim Gaffigan*

Click above to view the video after the jump
When the deal to sell Saturn to Penske Automotive fell through, there were likely a lot of surprised people at General Motors' Detroit, MI headquarters. Penske released a statement saying that the reason the deal fell through after months of good faith negotiations was that a suitable post-GM supply of vehicles could not be found. However, after reacquainting ourselves with over eight minutes of outtakes from Jim Gaffigan's old Saturn commercial, we're thinking the comedic pitchman is to blame.