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This man literally loves a Porsche [NSFW]

Think you know what "auto erotic" means? Think again. Because one man in Thailand has redefined the term. Caught on security camera footage this guy lurks into a garage, looks over both shoulders, evidently misses the camera, drops trou and has his way with a Porsche Boxster. When the tailpipe proved too hot (or otherwise inhospitable), he moves up to the radiator grille and – ahem – finishes up there. Sadly this isn't even the first time we've come across this particular perversion. We'd urge caution before viewing the video, not only because it's not suitable for a workplace environment, but because once you see it, you're bound to repeatedly blurt out, "Why, man!? Why?"

Consumer Reports declares most and least loved cars [w/video]

Consumer Reports is crunching the numbers from its annual owner-satisfaction survey, and part of that process is finding out how attached drivers are to their cars. CR simply asks readers of models up to three years old if they would buy the same vehicle again in light of their entire ownership experience, and tallies the results. After looking at the responses for about 350,000 vehicles, it turns out that people really love a certain California-built, electrically powered luxury sedan. That's right, this year's the overall winner was the Tesla Model S with a whopping 98 percent of owners saying they would purchase another one (the Model S also won this award last year, with 99 percent satisfaction). The Chevrolet Corvette Stingray came in a close second with 95 percent of drivers hoping to park another one in their garage. A few models weren't quite so favored, though. The Nissan Versa Sedan was the least loved model among its owners; a mere 42 percent said that they would purchase another. The aging Jeep Compass didn't do much better, with just 43 percent of drivers willing to buy the softroader again. On average, about 70 percent of owners say they would buy their car again, and only four cars ranked below 50 percent in CR's findings. Check out the video above to see some of the winners and losers in a few of CR's categories. If you're a subscriber, you can check out the full list on its website. Related Gallery Consumer Reports Most Loved Cars 2014 Related Gallery Consumer Reports Least Loved Cars 2014 News Source: Consumer Reports - sub. req., Consumer Reports via YouTube Chevrolet Ford Mazda Mercedes-Benz Porsche Subaru Tesla Ownership Videos car ownership

Automakers paying Chinese dealers for lower-than-expected sales

The Chinese dealers vs. foreign manufacturers story won't quit. It began with a story on the struggles faced by FAW-Toyota joint venture dealers, with supposedly 95 percent of the showrooms losing money, and 10 percent of them doing so poorly that they'd have to exit the business. The problem is mandated sales targets, most set when the country's economy was racing. Now that things have slowed, China's dealers are swimming in unsold cars and the costs to keep them. In the case of FAW-Toyota, dealers asked Toyota to hand over 2.2 billion yuan ($355 million) to help address the situation. That was followed by a report noting the issues that Honda, BMW, and Nissan dealers are having with the same issue, revealing that the Chinese Automobile Dealers Association (CADA) had taken the highly unusual step of writing to the Chinese government to complain. Now Reuters reports that CADA is not only pressing its case even harder, it's being open about it: it announced that BMW agreed to pay dealers 5.1 billion yuan ($820 million) to alleviate poor profits last year. Unnamed sources said Audi has thrown 2 billion yuan into the kitty for subsidies, and Daimler has contributed "about 1 billion yuan" to its dealers. The battle isn't just about 2014, but how business will be run in 2015 as well: Chinese Porsche dealers have requested the automaker lower its 2015 target of 64,000 cars, which would be a 40-percent increase on its 2014 sales of 46,931 vehicles. One analyst called it "shocking" that the CADA has taken its fight public, while CADA comments continue to imply that dealers have been railroaded to the cliff's edge without recourse. "Due to the difference in status," it's deputy secretary said, "individual dealers are not willing to, or don't dare to, talk frankly with the carmakers...." Both parties need one another, so they'll figure out a way to make it work – but that could mean acknowledging the Chinese market is behaving more like a mature one, not an emerging one. News Source: ReutersImage Credit: Lintao Zhang/Getty Images Earnings/Financials Audi BMW Porsche Toyota Car Dealers Luxury