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Nissan Patrol attempts Guinness record with 170-ton cargo plane tow

Yesterday, Nissan teased us with a video showing a Patrol pulling up to a 170-ton cargo plane at an airport in the Middle East - we could only assume that the not-for-America sports utility vehicle would attempt to tow the jet.
Well, somebody leaked the official Nissan video, which indeed shows the Patrol successfully pulling the plane 30 meters for what reportedly is a Guinness world record. While Guinness hasn't confirmed the record on its website at time of writing, the 170-ton jet would be the heaviest plane ever towed by a production automobile. The video was taken down quickly, but another video shot by an observer at the event was posted for our enjoyment. We figured Nissan would move to repost the official video sooner rather than later, and it did.
The Patrol seems to have no problem towing 340,000 pounds, but let's just say it wasn't a quick ordeal. Check out the official and unofficial video of the tow below, as well as Nissan's teaser video. In a reversal of fortunes, we also threw in another, somewhat smaller but perhaps just as impressive vid, just for fun.

Man sells testicle to buy Nissan 370Z

We aren't entirely sure what's stranger about this story - that a man actually sold a vital piece of his manhood for a car, or that he did it for a Nissan 370Z. That's not to discredit the trusty Fairlady, a car we generally like, but that if we were to do what Mark Parisi did and sell one of his testicles to science, we'd be asking for a helluva lot more than $35,000.
But Parisi did just that, and announced live on CBS' The Doctors (we really can't make this up) that the sale of his nut would go towards the purchase of a Z. According to our friends Down Under (Australia, get your mind out of the gutter), $35K is the going rate for one slightly used testicle, so if you get nothing else from this story, gentlemen, know that you have $70,000 swinging between your legs.

Bret Michaels Poisons Nissan's commercial trucking ops

Mötley Crüe isn't the only 1980s hair-metal band getting into the world of auto promotion. Poison frontman and reality show star Bret Michaels is following their lead and doing some advertising of his own. Where the Crüe have been all over the airwaves in recent years with a Super Bowl ad for Kia and music licensing with Dodge, Michaels has taken a very different route by becoming the pitchman for Nissan Commercial Vehicles.
The videos run the gamut to advertise predominantly the NV line of full-size vans, but the NV200 shows up a few times too. The star of this new campaign is Michaels' full-length music video (above) for the song Tough Love. It's basically a parody of all of those '80s rock ballads where the bands would slow the tempo down a little and reveal their softer side. Michaels rocks out at the Nissan proving grounds in Stanfield, AZ, while showing off the evaluation process and strutting around like a proper rock frontman. There are also a bunch of shorter videos (below) with the singer highlighting each part of the vans' torture testing. Although, the dialogue in these come off a bit more stilted. With these '80s metal bands getting into advertising, can it be long before Warrant is shilling for Fiat or Ratt for Mazda?