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Who would win in a race if the Super Bowl teams were cars?

Until the last down is played this Sunday, we will have the annoyance pleasure of listening to analysts bicker between who will win the Super Bowl, not unlike automotive analysts who do the same thing with cars. If I had a dollar for every conversation about what car would win against another on a specific track, I wouldn't be buying the raw avocados this year for my guacamole. Instead I would be purchasing organic avocados and have the guacamole served in a Ferrari-themed bowl. Yes, those exist. Even so, we still watch year after year knowing full well that the pre-game analysis typically adds up to less than what is left over in the chip bowl after the last guest leaves. Let's take a different approach to analysis this year, let's compare these teams to their vehicle equivalent to decide who would win in a fair race. How do you determine a fair race? When I think of a fair race I think of the Nurburgring. A track that is 12.9 miles, has 1,000 feet of elevation change, and is famously nicknamed The Green Hell by famed driver Jackie Stewart. Although your Supra may beat The Flash himself in a straight line, chances are once you push it to the limits on a 12.9-mile track your brakes will smell like a bonfire and your suspension will have gone into cardiac arrest twice. So if we're racing The 'Ring, what are we driving? To best answer that question we must determine what characteristics define these teams. Not being someone who knows more about my fantasy league than my significant other, I can only go off what I have heard from "experts." The Panthers are honestly known for Cam Newton. Cam is a versatile, fast, brash, and fairly young quarterback. He apologizes for nothing and has Ali-like confidence that shows in his choice of Liberace-type attire. Although he looks to be the favorite, he hasn't yet won a Super Bowl and the team's second-half performances are less than climatic. In racing terms, he has won a lot but no one has seen him race in the dark at the 24 Hours of Le Mans. The Panthers have a ton of acceleration, a brand new chassis, and a driver who is hungry for that first big win. On the other side of the track are the Broncos. It seems as though the Broncos are known for two things, a nostalgic quarterback and a defense that could strike fear into a Honey Badger. If the Broncos were just one component of a vehicle they would be the brakes, and these brakes are outfitted for a locomotive.

Ford bondage ads reportedly trigger firings at Indian ad agency

You will probably remember the ads for the Ford Figo hatchback in India, the ones that showcased the extra large boot of the little hatchback by joking that you can fit three of your enemies in the trunk. One of the ads had Michael Schumacher in the front seat, obviously pleased about having Sebastian Vettel, Lewis Hamilton and Fernando Alonso tied up in the back. But the other two had Paris Hilton and ex-Italian prime minister Silvio Berlusconi up front and three bound and gagged women in the back - in Hilton's case (shown above), it was the Kardashians.
This did not go over well, and Reuters reports that certain employees at JWT India have been fired over the matter. It is also reported that the images weren't actual advertisements, nor were they part of an actual campaign; JWT said they "were never intended for paid publication, were never requested by our Ford client." A JWT rep said the employees who created the ads did so on their own, Ford commented to Automotive News that the ads were "part of a creative exercise intended to test concepts for an advertising competition."
The problem, if the story is to be believed, is that the employees skipped the regular review protocols and uploaded their work to an ad industry site - they were found on Ads of the World. That page, like the employees, has been removed.

2015 Ford Mustang stars in bizarrely awesome '80s aerobics video

For reasons we can't comprehend, here's a music video starring the all-new, 2015 Ford Mustang and a number of dancers dressed and styled in the most stereotypically 1980s way possible. The dancers then take part in a male-versus-female dance off. Again, we've no idea why it exists.
It's weird, and for the second time in two weeks, we're sat at our computer wondering, "What are we watching?" That said, it does show the new Mustang from a number of angles, and it's one of the first car-related YouTube videos we've seen that's available in a 4K, ultra-high-def stream.
Take a look below, and let us know what you think in Comments.