1964 Ford Falcon on 2040-cars

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Who would win in a race if the Super Bowl teams were cars?

Until the last down is played this Sunday, we will have the annoyance pleasure of listening to analysts bicker between who will win the Super Bowl, not unlike automotive analysts who do the same thing with cars. If I had a dollar for every conversation about what car would win against another on a specific track, I wouldn't be buying the raw avocados this year for my guacamole. Instead I would be purchasing organic avocados and have the guacamole served in a Ferrari-themed bowl. Yes, those exist. Even so, we still watch year after year knowing full well that the pre-game analysis typically adds up to less than what is left over in the chip bowl after the last guest leaves. Let's take a different approach to analysis this year, let's compare these teams to their vehicle equivalent to decide who would win in a fair race. How do you determine a fair race? When I think of a fair race I think of the Nurburgring. A track that is 12.9 miles, has 1,000 feet of elevation change, and is famously nicknamed The Green Hell by famed driver Jackie Stewart. Although your Supra may beat The Flash himself in a straight line, chances are once you push it to the limits on a 12.9-mile track your brakes will smell like a bonfire and your suspension will have gone into cardiac arrest twice. So if we're racing The 'Ring, what are we driving? To best answer that question we must determine what characteristics define these teams. Not being someone who knows more about my fantasy league than my significant other, I can only go off what I have heard from "experts." The Panthers are honestly known for Cam Newton. Cam is a versatile, fast, brash, and fairly young quarterback. He apologizes for nothing and has Ali-like confidence that shows in his choice of Liberace-type attire. Although he looks to be the favorite, he hasn't yet won a Super Bowl and the team's second-half performances are less than climatic. In racing terms, he has won a lot but no one has seen him race in the dark at the 24 Hours of Le Mans. The Panthers have a ton of acceleration, a brand new chassis, and a driver who is hungry for that first big win. On the other side of the track are the Broncos. It seems as though the Broncos are known for two things, a nostalgic quarterback and a defense that could strike fear into a Honey Badger. If the Broncos were just one component of a vehicle they would be the brakes, and these brakes are outfitted for a locomotive.

Man turns Ford Fiesta into a one-car band

The one-man band is a rather ridiculous idea, drawing up images of one person attempting to manipulate several instruments, at once, in a vain attempt at creating music. It's usually represented by silly scenes like this. Interestingly, the concept isn't much more successful when the "man" in "one-man band" is replaced with "car," as we see in this video.
It seems that someone rigged up and edited (699 times, we might add) a Ford Fiesta, a bucket, 12 PVC pipes and the natural sounds that a car makes to come up with a song. Now, we don't recognize the tune, so we've no idea if this is a cover or an original piece. And while it's hardly Beethoven, we have to admire the amount of effort the "conductor" went to in his attempt to turn a subcompact car into a musical instrument(s). Take a look (or listen) below for the entire video.

Jim Farley to lead Ford of Europe

"We are excited to see Jim and Stephen take on these new roles as they bring unique skills, experience and fresh perspectives to these critical positions." - Mark Fields
Ford marketing chief Jim Farley is taking over the company's troubled European operations as part of an executive shuffle confirmed on Friday morning.