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24 Hours of Le Mans live update part one

We tasked surfing journalist Rory Parker to watch this year's live stream of the 2016 24 Hours of Le Mans. What follows is an experiment to experience the world's greatest endurance race from the perspective of a motorsports novice with a profanity-laden stream-of-consciousness writing style. Parker lives in Hawaii and spends far more time spearfishing than behind the wheel of a car. Jump ahead to Part Two here, and Part Three here. Big Money and billionaire hobbyists and rockets on wheels. Jets belching French color smoke overhead. Balance of power fuckery. Plenty of water on the ground this morning. Absurdly expensive motorcars lined up in the pissing rain. Fast twitch lunatics behind the wheel. Chomping at the bit. Let's go let's go let's go! Race hasn't even started, Ford #67 maybe dealing with clutch issues. Karma? That beautiful bastard Brad Pitt's out on the track, waving the tricolor flag. It's a standing start in "Noah's Ark" weather and the 2016 24 hours of Le Mans is go! First lap takes place behind the safety car, finished in a record setting 8 minutes 27 seconds. Wrong kind of record maybe, but this is the first time I've set my mind to watching the whole damn race. Feel like I'm part of history. 3:00 AM on Kauai, a little too early for life. Sucking down coffee like a maniac. Don't fall back asleep. Got my hands on four hours of rest, how much more can I need? Better be enough for the next twenty four hours. Gonna get kinda punchy toward the end. Jason Statham on the scene. Four feet of solid muscle, non-existent hairline. Lovely wife peanut gallery sitting next to me calls him the "best race car drive in the world." Not sure if she's serious. Toss up, could go either way. Statham's a funny guy. Heir to the Bruce Willis comedy action crown. Really good in the movie where the fat comedy lady plays a spy. Ford's on the road. Problems with gearbox pressure, apparently. Nearing a half hour in and the safety car is still on the track. Hellish amounts of water on the ground, in the air. Visibility is garbage. Getting better. Twitter wags, "Not with a bang but a whimper." Just building suspense. Mother Nature felt like killing some people today, race officials need to dial back the drivers until it dries a tad. Normal inclination would've seen 'em flying, guaranteed early lap wrecks. Sad news for that bloodthirsty part of my lizard brain I try and keep suppressed. Good news for humanity. #12 in the pit for a bit.

Ex-GM VP LaNeve takes over Lincoln ad agency

Those of you that caught yesterday's op-ed about Lincoln will have heard already, but Mark LaNeve has taken the helm at Team Detroit. Once the North American vice president of sales, service and marketing for General Motors, LaNeve will now head up the agency that handles all of Ford advertising. LaNeve will also run the account for Lincoln. While at GM from 2001 to 2009, the exec oversaw ad campaigns like Cadillac's Breakthrough and sales initiatives like "Employee Pricing for Everyone."
He left in 2009 to join Allstate as chief marketing officer, oversaw the creation of the Mayhem ad spots and was moved into the role of VP of agency operations overseeing Allstate's 10,000 agents. He resigned from the insurer in February 2012 for personal reasons and joined Team Detroit in August 2012 as chief operating officer, in charge of satellite offices in New York and internationally. He replaces ex-CEO Cameron McNaughton, and will continue to hold the title of COO.
Lincoln is trying to get its 2013 back to rights after putting big dollar commercials for the 2013 MKZ on television then having production glitches preventing cars from getting to dealerships. With rumors of a relaunch in the works, it's no surprise LaNeve has been given the reins - and from here it looks like the brand is desperate for the kind of magic he's proved he can marshal. Perhaps he can start by calling a mulligan on the renaming exercise that gave us the hoary "Lincoln Motor Company" and go back to oh, say, "Lincoln." Then he can ask the product folks to get to work on the MKC concept...

Amazon can now deliver packages to some Ford and Lincoln vehicles

Nothing succeeds without complications popping up along the way. Sure, Amazon's Prime delivery services have made shopping more convenient than brushing your teeth, but leaving millions of packages on doorsteps comes with an inherent danger: Thieves might swipe them without anybody knowing. Amazon's solution is called Amazon Key, which allows delivery men and women to enter a customer's house or car to drop off a package. This week, Ford and Lincoln announced they would be partnering with Amazon to integrate the service into some of their vehicles. Ford is following in the footsteps of Volvo and General Motors, as both companies announced their participation about a year ago. That includes Cadillac, Chevrolet, Buick, and GMC. Key will be made available for 2017-and-newer Fords equipped with FordPass Connect, and 2018-and-later Lincolns with Lincoln Connect. Key is not available everywhere, but it can be used in dozens of city throughout the U.S., and the network is expanding. To look for compatibility for your car and city, check on Amazon's dedicated Key website. Like every other tech invention these days, Key requires a smart device application, which requires a one-time setup. The service is available on the Key app or the FordPass and Lincoln Way apps. While ordering on Amazon, customers will then select in-car delivery during checkout. Input a public delivery address, and park the car within two blocks of that address. While the order is in transit, Amazon will provide status updates, another feature that takes away some of the anxiety of waiting for a package to be delivered. The package will be put into the car within a four-hour window, and users will get notifications that the exchange is complete, and the car is again securely locked. Should customers change their minds, they can always cancel the delivery method, and the car will remain locked. In that case, the delivery could go to the building where the car is parked, or be rescheduled. Ford imagines this as the beginning of numerous car-based services in the near future that can be scheduled while the owner is not there, such as car washes.