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Who would win in a race if the Super Bowl teams were cars?

Until the last down is played this Sunday, we will have the annoyance pleasure of listening to analysts bicker between who will win the Super Bowl, not unlike automotive analysts who do the same thing with cars. If I had a dollar for every conversation about what car would win against another on a specific track, I wouldn't be buying the raw avocados this year for my guacamole. Instead I would be purchasing organic avocados and have the guacamole served in a Ferrari-themed bowl. Yes, those exist. Even so, we still watch year after year knowing full well that the pre-game analysis typically adds up to less than what is left over in the chip bowl after the last guest leaves. Let's take a different approach to analysis this year, let's compare these teams to their vehicle equivalent to decide who would win in a fair race. How do you determine a fair race? When I think of a fair race I think of the Nurburgring. A track that is 12.9 miles, has 1,000 feet of elevation change, and is famously nicknamed The Green Hell by famed driver Jackie Stewart. Although your Supra may beat The Flash himself in a straight line, chances are once you push it to the limits on a 12.9-mile track your brakes will smell like a bonfire and your suspension will have gone into cardiac arrest twice. So if we're racing The 'Ring, what are we driving? To best answer that question we must determine what characteristics define these teams. Not being someone who knows more about my fantasy league than my significant other, I can only go off what I have heard from "experts." The Panthers are honestly known for Cam Newton. Cam is a versatile, fast, brash, and fairly young quarterback. He apologizes for nothing and has Ali-like confidence that shows in his choice of Liberace-type attire. Although he looks to be the favorite, he hasn't yet won a Super Bowl and the team's second-half performances are less than climatic. In racing terms, he has won a lot but no one has seen him race in the dark at the 24 Hours of Le Mans. The Panthers have a ton of acceleration, a brand new chassis, and a driver who is hungry for that first big win. On the other side of the track are the Broncos. It seems as though the Broncos are known for two things, a nostalgic quarterback and a defense that could strike fear into a Honey Badger. If the Broncos were just one component of a vehicle they would be the brakes, and these brakes are outfitted for a locomotive.

Vile Gossip | Adventures in tire testing

Jean Jennings has been writing about cars for more than 30 years, after stints as a taxicab driver and as a mechanic in the Chrysler Proving Grounds Impact Lab. She was a staff writer at Car and Driver magazine, the first executive editor and former president and editor-in-chief of Automobile Magazine , the founder of the blog Jean Knows Cars and former automotive correspondent for Good Morning America . She has lifetime awards from both the Motor Press Guild and the New England Motor Press Association. This is her first column for Autoblog — look for more Vile Gossip in the future. I began writing at Car and Driver magazine back in its golden age in the 1970s, before I'd actually read it. I knew very little about cars. The only magazine I read religiously was Four Wheeler because I owned big trucks and liked to go off-roading with my Chrysler Proving Grounds friends. My vast 10 years of driving experience up to that point (high-speed dirt-road idiot, taxicab driver, Chrysler Proving Grounds test driver) had less bearing on my being hired at Car and Driver than the fact that the editor just wanted to rile up the all-male staff. He didn't need me for that. They were already in full dudgeon when I arrived. They'd just spent a chunk of time testing a stack of tires for their big tire-test issue, and the editor-in-chief was toe-to-toe with the technical editor over the rankings of the top 10 tires. It was loud, and it was angry. I had no idea that car magazines tested tires. Cab driving had led me to believe that airing up a tire and changing a flat was all you needed to know. I changed so many flats on that cab, I eventually wound up in front of a live audience on the " Oprah Winfrey Show" demonstrating my brilliance with a jack and a tire iron. My point, of course, is that tires are more controversial, and also more essential, than you'd think. My other point is that it's good to get worked up about the subject, but not quite so good to let yourself be seen, as I did, on my hands and knees with my ass up in the air on national TV. This is how I prefer to test a tire: First, pick a top brand. Then accept their invitation to try and beat the crap out of their tire. I chose Yokohama, celebrating its 100th anniversary this year. The big news for them was the GEOLANDER M/T G003!

Win a car while supporting a charity this holiday season

Autoblog may receive a share from purchases made via links on this page. Pricing and availability are subject to change. No donation or payment necessary to enter or win this sweepstakes. See official rules on Omaze.  The leaves have fallen, there is a crispness to the air and there have already been multiple forecasts of snow, which can only mean one thing: We're coming up on Christmas. While you've been busy thinking about what kind of gifts you're going to give your loved ones, we here at Autoblog have been deciding which dream car we'd like to see in our driveway on Christmas morning. A car for Christmas does seem a bit extreme and expensive, but thanks to these Omaze sweepstakes, it doesn't have to break the bank. Here are the current sweepstakes we'd like to win this holiday season. Win a DeLorean DMC-12 - Enter at Omaze James Riswick, West Coast Editor: Let me be clear, the DeLorean is a pretty terrible car. Its speedometer doesn't even go up to the fabled 88 mph. Seriously, look at the pictures: tops out at 85. Also, who services a DeLorean? And how much would it cost to maintain one? $AlloftheMoney or just $MostoftheMoney? So owning it could be a total headache, but at least by winning one through Omaze, you'd be relieved of the financial burden of buying one in the first place. You'd also get the chance to own one of the most iconic cars of all time, one that transcends car enthusiasm and is instantly recognizable by everyone as the "Back to the Future" car. Plus, "everyone" doesn't know that the DeLorean was actually a pretty terrible car. So, I already own James Bond's car from 1995, why not Doc Brown's from 1985? Win a 2021 Bentley Bentayga V8 - Enter at Omaze Eddie Sabatini, Production Manager: Why am I choosing a +$200K Bentley SUV? Because even if I could afford one I'd never be able to wrap my head around spending money on one. So why not try to win one by donating what I can afford to a good cause? I first saw the Bentley Bentayga up close and personal at the Frankfurt Motor Show (I forget which year but I'll never forget this SUV). And although it looks like the Bentayga Omaze is offering up doesn't have the opulent tailgate setup I fell in love with when I saw it in Frankfurt, I'd still enter to win. Win a 1968 Mercedes-Benz 280SL Pagoda - Enter at Omaze Byron Hurd, Editor: Few automotive marketing efforts stick out in my head more than the Mercedes-Benz holiday spots and magazine placements.