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Who would win in a race if the Super Bowl teams were cars?

Until the last down is played this Sunday, we will have the annoyance pleasure of listening to analysts bicker between who will win the Super Bowl, not unlike automotive analysts who do the same thing with cars. If I had a dollar for every conversation about what car would win against another on a specific track, I wouldn't be buying the raw avocados this year for my guacamole. Instead I would be purchasing organic avocados and have the guacamole served in a Ferrari-themed bowl. Yes, those exist. Even so, we still watch year after year knowing full well that the pre-game analysis typically adds up to less than what is left over in the chip bowl after the last guest leaves. Let's take a different approach to analysis this year, let's compare these teams to their vehicle equivalent to decide who would win in a fair race. How do you determine a fair race? When I think of a fair race I think of the Nurburgring. A track that is 12.9 miles, has 1,000 feet of elevation change, and is famously nicknamed The Green Hell by famed driver Jackie Stewart. Although your Supra may beat The Flash himself in a straight line, chances are once you push it to the limits on a 12.9-mile track your brakes will smell like a bonfire and your suspension will have gone into cardiac arrest twice. So if we're racing The 'Ring, what are we driving? To best answer that question we must determine what characteristics define these teams. Not being someone who knows more about my fantasy league than my significant other, I can only go off what I have heard from "experts." The Panthers are honestly known for Cam Newton. Cam is a versatile, fast, brash, and fairly young quarterback. He apologizes for nothing and has Ali-like confidence that shows in his choice of Liberace-type attire. Although he looks to be the favorite, he hasn't yet won a Super Bowl and the team's second-half performances are less than climatic. In racing terms, he has won a lot but no one has seen him race in the dark at the 24 Hours of Le Mans. The Panthers have a ton of acceleration, a brand new chassis, and a driver who is hungry for that first big win. On the other side of the track are the Broncos. It seems as though the Broncos are known for two things, a nostalgic quarterback and a defense that could strike fear into a Honey Badger. If the Broncos were just one component of a vehicle they would be the brakes, and these brakes are outfitted for a locomotive.

It took four minutes to steal Roger Waters' Ferrari

The owner of a 1973 Ferrari 365 Daytona in Australia is singing Wish You Were Here after thieves stole his red Italian coupe, which counts Pink Floyd lyricist Roger Waters as a former owner. The car was at a mechanic in Melbourne when the brazen crooks rammed open the shop's door in the early morning. They needed just four minutes to get away with the Daytona and a 328 GTB, according to The Drive. This Daytona carries an estimated value of 2.5 million Australian dollars ($1.8 million), and it counts a string of celebrity owners, according to The Age. James Hunt allegedly drove it because the coupe once had a connection to the Hesketh Formula One team. Waters used the car to go to Pink Floyd's recording studio, and magnate Mohamed Al Fayed later had the Ferrari also. He gave it to his son Dodi – Princess Diana's boyfriend when she died. The Daytona wasn't just another brick in the wall to the owner, either. "I don't have any other sport cars, that was the one," he said to The Age. The car just completed a restoration three weeks ago, and it was at the mechanic to sort an alternator problem. Police are still searching for the perpetrators. The 328 was reportedly spotted about 4 miles away after the robbery, but the car was gone when the cops went to check.

Massive cruise ship features Ferrari go-kart track

Billed as the first racetrack at sea, a Ferrari-themed circuit will sit atop Norwegian Cruise Lines' newest vessel, the Norwegian Joy, launching this summer. The two-level track will have room for 10 electric go-karts, and it's built in partnership with Scuderia Ferrari Watches. The barriers are red with the Prancing Horse crest displayed prominently. The track will be laid out on the top level of the Joy, offering racers a view of the sea as they turn laps. Ferrari watches will also be sold in a retail shop near the track as part of the deal. The cruise line announced plans for the circuit last year and now is confirming the Ferrari theme. Ferrari is expanding its marketing efforts with clothing, watches, Ferrari World Theme parks, and other lifestyle experiences as it positions itself as a global luxury brand. Ferrari hopes the moves expand its base beyond traditional automotive enthusiasts, who flock to the brand for its success on the track and for its high-performance sports cars. The Joy is designed specifically for the Chinese market and will have room for 3,850 passengers. Guests in certain classes will get free rides on the Ferrari track as part of their accommodations. The ship will also have a racing simulator, multi-story waterslides, and open-air laser tag. The Joy will be delivered Thursday in Germany, and its home ports will be Shanghai and Tianjin. Watch the ship float out in the video above. Related Video: