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The Homer to contest 24 Hours of LeMons

It's finally happened. A 24 Hours of LeMons team has built the definitive interpretation of The Homer from The Simpsons for competition in an upcoming race. As you may recollect, The Homer is the fictional car designed by Homer Simpson for his brother's car company. Designed with a separate compartment for screaming children and other Homer-centric goodies, the animated machine bankrupted its parent company and put Homer's brother out of a job. Now we get to watch it race other crap cans as it tackles Southern California's Buttonwillow Raceway on June 29. Scott Chamberlain, Kris Linquist, Reid Conti, Ben Reilly and Mike Yepes will helm the machine, and Jeff Herman serves as the team's creative director.
The racer is the latest incarnation of a well-abused BMW 3 Series. The team campaigned the same E30 under the "Prickstine" banner as a Chrysler Imperial tribute and "Porcubimmer," the latter being a riff on the ever-popular joke about the difference between porcupines and BMW models. Never gets old. You can check out a video of the finished Homer below, and be sure to like the team on Facebook to see updates from the race. Now, about that Canyonero...

BMW reveals new X5 Security Plus in Moscow

A major player in the Russian market, BMW is heading to the Moscow Motor Show this month with a slew of local debuts... most of which we've already seen. But among all the new models making the trek from Bavaria to Moscow will be the new X5 Security Plus.
In a new-model launch that will surprise exactly no one, BMW's latest armored vehicle upgrades the X5 with enhanced protection for oligarchs against Chechen rebels, AK47-touting gangsters and missiles randomly falling on Crimean highways. Now meeting the VR6 standard of ballistic protection, the new X5 Security Plus incorporates reinforced bodywork, seats and joints, along with bulletproof glass.
Of course all that reinforcement (not to mention the jars of beluga caviar and bottles of Stoli in the glovebox) will come with a weight penalty, but the 4.4-liter twin-turbo V8 ought to do the trick, driving 450 horsepower through BMW's xDrive all-wheel-drive system to get the vehicle's occupants out of a war zone in a hurry.

2014 BMW 328i xDrive Gran Turismo

"The Ultimate Driving Machine" has been BMW's tagline for nearly 40 years. Launched in the 1970s, the marketing campaign was a stroke of genius by ad firm Ammirati & Puris, as the phrase helped differentiate the imported Bavarian cars from their fellow European rivals by subtly pointing out that Mercedes-Benz and Audi were offering luxury models, while BMW was selling sporty and youthful driving dynamics. The campaign worked - some would argue that stands among the most effective ad campaigns ever - and countless Baby Boomers embraced the brand's fun-to-drive image by taking delivery of the company's new models.
BMW still boasts that its vehicles are "The Ultimate Driving Machine" four decades later, but the brand is very different today. It offered just a few model lines in the mid-1970s, and only a handful of vehicles within. In 2014, the automaker offers an exhaustive range comprised of nearly a dozen lines with almost 50 different models. To survive and thrive, BMW has decided it must massively broaden its appeal.
One of the latest arrivals to BMW's ever-growing stable is the 2014 3 Series Gran Turismo. The five-door hatchback is best thought of as a smaller version of the company's 5 Series Gran Turismo built on stretched 3 Series platform that, in the case of this test car, shares the running gear of the 328i xDrive sedan. On paper, the five-passenger vehicle checks all the proper boxes with regards to performance, utility and economy. But does this family-focused 3 Series still deliver driving dynamics that qualify it for the title of Ultimate Driving Machine?