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7 months later, Jeep 'trailer hitch' recall still stalled

For the past few years, Chrysler and its CEO, Sergio Marchionne, have gone head-to-head with the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration and its boss, David Strickland, over the government safety agency's request for Chrysler to recall almost three-million Jeep vehicles due to what NHTSA says is a safety issue that has caused at least 51 deaths. After a three-year investigation and Chrysler's initial refusal to issue a recall because it deemed the vehicles safe and built to the day's federal requirements, last summer, the two parties compromised on a "voluntary campaign" to inspect 1.56 million vehicles, those being the 1992 to 1998 Grand Cherokee and 2002 to 2007 Liberty.
Those vehicles were designed with their gas tanks between the rear axle and the bumper, and NHTSA says that in rear-end collisions, damage to the fuel tank has caused fires responsible for those 51 deaths. The compromise reached last summer was that Chrysler would inspect 1.56 million vehicles and, "if necessary, provide an upgrade to the rear structure of the vehicle." Practically speaking, that meant Chrysler would replace aftermarket trailer hitches, but would take no action if a vehicle had a factory-installed hitch or an aftermarket hitch from Mopar.
A report in The Detroit News says the "voluntary campaign" is just now getting under way, with Chrysler saying last week that the design of the replacement part had been finalized and it was tooling up "to deliver the required volume." Seven months later, still in question is whether NHTSA will crash-test the fix engineered by Chrysler, noteworthy because not only did the vehicles in question pass every safety standard necessary to be cleared for sale at the time, there are still questions (to those of us on the outside) as to how the Jeeps at issue fare among their peers in such incidents. Either way, Chrysler and NHTSA apparently still disagree on the efficacy of the remedy itself: the carmaker says it might help in low-speed crashes but not high-speed collisions, a position the NHTSA is at odds with. All of this means the campaign doesn't yet have an end in sight.

Six 'shut up and take my money' cars

Any time you see this iconic moment in pop culture - Shut up and take my money! - posted in response to a new car reveal, rumor for an upcoming model or even lip-service to a vehicle that should exist, you can bet there's some intrinsic good in the idea. Though depending on the person offering up the cash, that good could take the form of extraordinary form, functionality, weight savings, power, handling, etc. You get the idea.
In fact, when I first proposed this list, I reached out to the Autoblog staff to help me brainstorm. Here are some of the ideas they offered up that I ultimately didn't use: Jaguar XE Coupe, Pagani Huayra Roadster, Mercedes-Benz S-Class "parade car" (cabriolet), Morgan 3-Wheeler with Ducati V-twin, Ford Transit Connectamino (pickup), Mercedes CLA63 AMG, Ford Fusion 5.0, BMW i8 Spyder, Lexus RC-F Shooting Brake, Volvo XC90 Polestar. Oh, and things we collectively wanted to stick Dodge's Hellcat in were almost as numerous as models that Fiat Chrysler Automotive currently makes (though none quite so compelling as the Grand Cherokee you see above.)
Ultimately though, while I used a couple of ideas from my colleagues, the list of cars I'd shell out for unquestionably is very personal. Though it isn't complete, what follows is a selection of cars whose very existence would prompt me - or the trust-fund-baby versions of me - to utter without hesitation: "Shut up and take my money."

Updated 2014 Jeep Grand Cherokee ace same controversial moose test it failed in 2012 [w/video]

Some background: one of the more scandalous international incidents of he-said/he-said from 2012 was when Swedish magazine Teknikens Varld put the Jeep Grand Cherokee through its "moose (or elk) test" and reported that the SUV nearly rolled over. That lead to a whole lot of accusations and rebuttals: more than one website and Chrysler's own blog reported that the Jeep was overloaded; Chrysler said Teknikens printed the magazine then let Chrysler respond, Teknikens answered all of the charges in a lengthy post and said Chrysler was given a chance to comment before it went to print; when Chrysler sent investigators to oversee the test and the Jeep didn't go up on two wheels as it did in the first test, furthermore all four wheels stayed on the ground when Auto Motor und Sport tested a Grand Cherokee in the same way.
Teknikens then re-ran the test with a new vehicle and said it's been doing this test since the 1970s, uses the loading information that Chrysler provides to the Swedish motor authority and the previous Grand Cherokee passed with no problem. In the second test, the Jeep failed again, then it gave Chrysler engineers access to the car's electronics and ran the test again. In that second round the Grand Cherokee didn't repeat the lurid two-wheel action, but in eleven runs it blew out front left tire seven times. Chrysler still objects to the results of all of those tests and maintains that vehicle was safe.
The 2014 Grand Cherokee was given its shot at the gauntlet in the latest round of moose tests, and Teknikens Varld reports that it passed without any problem at all, its stability control working perfectly, controlling motion at low speeds and all the way up to 44.1 miles per hour. You can watch the video of the new test and read the press release from the magazine on the updated Grand Cherokee below.