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Even 'basic' girls are tired of their cheating VW Jettas

Well, this didn't take long. Former Volkswagen CEO Martin Winterkorn's office probably hasn't even been packed yet, and the jokes about his scandal-ridden former employer have already begun to fly. Today, we'll be featuring the team from Funny Or Die, which has opted to not only skewer Volkswagen for its TDIsaster, but one of the victims of the company's catastrophe – the 'basic' girl. For those not in the know, "basic," according to Urban Dictionary is an adjective reserved for someone "devoid of defining characteristics that might make a person interesting, extraordinary, or just simply worth devoting time or attention to," and that they are "lacking intelligence and unable to socialize on even an elementary level." And when it comes to basic girls, the Volkswagen Jetta is as ubiquitous as a Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte. But with the VW controversy, basic girls are finding their Jettas aren't so good for their green credentials. So check out Funny Or Die's take on these scorned drivers, in the video above. And fair warning, there's a bit of foul language.

VW will expand goodwill package to larger diesels

Volkswagen Group of America will expand its goodwill package to affected owners of the VW Touareg and other models with the 3.0 TDI. The company may also replace the catalytic converter on some cars equipped with the 2.0-liter four-cylinder TDI engine to bring it into compliance with US emissions. VW Group of America boss Michael Horn told Reuters he plans announce the goodwill program's expansion to the 2009-2016 Touareg during the Detroit Auto Show, and company spokesperson Jeannine Ginivan also confirmed this to Autoblog. Audi intends to extend the offer to its affected owners, too. As with the previous goodwill package, participating customers would receive a $500 prepaid Visa card and $500 to use at dealers. The EPA issued a violation notice against the 3.0 TDI in November and later extended it to additional model years. Audi later admitted that the engine, which was also in the Touareg and Porsche Cayenne, had undisclosed emissions management software. However, the automaker limited the goodwill package only to the 2.0-liter powerplant while it investigated the allegations against the larger mill. VW has not announced a recall plan in the US for the 2.0 TDI so far, but VW Group CEO Matthias Muller recently outlined a possible solution that could fix about 430,000 of the 482,000 affected vehicles. "We have one [catalytic converter] in the works and we believe that will be a part of the technical solutions," he told Reuters. Muller plans to discuss the repair while in Washington D.C. on Wednesday to meet with the EPA. "I think we can now offer a package that will come very close to what the EPA is expecting from us," Muller said to Reuters. He also suggested the company might buy back some affected models but didn't confirm the recent rumor claiming that the buy-back may cover as many as 115,000 cars.

Investors storm Volkswagen with $9 billion in lawsuits

Volkswagen's investors are latest group to take up pitchforks against the embattled automaker, and they're seeking $9 billion in damages, Reuters reports. The investor lawsuits were filed in a court in Braunschweig, Germany, near Volkswagen's Wolfsburg headquarters. On Monday, the first business day following the anniversary of the emissions revelations, the court received 750 lawsuits alone. All told, about 1,400 lawsuits have been filed. The largest single claim totals $3.7 billion and was filed more than six months ago. The lawsuits stem from complaints that Volkswagen didn't divulge information on the cheating software to investors quickly enough. Volkswagen has said that it hasn't broken any capital market laws. The $21.5 billion the company set aside to weather the storm may not be enough. The consumer fix is estimated to run the company $14.7 billion, either through buybacks or a fix that still seems unclear. In addition to the lawsuits, Volkswagen CEO Matthias Mueller confirmed that Audi boss Rupert Stadler is under investigation regarding the scandal. Mueller refused to give further details, but this shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone. Audi has admitted that its 3.0-liter V6 was equipped with the same emissions-cheating software as the 2.0-liter four-cylinder diesels. Stefan Knirsch, Audi's head of development, has been suspended as part of the overall investigation. Knirsch took over duties after his predecessor quit. Knisch was previously head of engine development at Audi. Related Video: News Source: Reuters Green Hirings/Firings/Layoffs Audi Volkswagen Emissions Diesel Vehicles vw diesel scandal