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Even 'basic' girls are tired of their cheating VW Jettas

Well, this didn't take long. Former Volkswagen CEO Martin Winterkorn's office probably hasn't even been packed yet, and the jokes about his scandal-ridden former employer have already begun to fly. Today, we'll be featuring the team from Funny Or Die, which has opted to not only skewer Volkswagen for its TDIsaster, but one of the victims of the company's catastrophe – the 'basic' girl. For those not in the know, "basic," according to Urban Dictionary is an adjective reserved for someone "devoid of defining characteristics that might make a person interesting, extraordinary, or just simply worth devoting time or attention to," and that they are "lacking intelligence and unable to socialize on even an elementary level." And when it comes to basic girls, the Volkswagen Jetta is as ubiquitous as a Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte. But with the VW controversy, basic girls are finding their Jettas aren't so good for their green credentials. So check out Funny Or Die's take on these scorned drivers, in the video above. And fair warning, there's a bit of foul language.

Volkswagen posts quarterly profit despite drop in sales

Volkswagen returned to profit in the third quarter as surging Chinese demand for luxury cars helped offset a 1.1% drop in vehicle deliveries due to the pandemic, sending its shares as much as 3% higher on Thursday. The German automaker's return to the black comes amid spiking coronavirus cases in Europe that led governments in France and Germany to order their countries back into strict national lockdowns on Wednesday. "The coronavirus remains a central problem," Volkswagen Chief Financial Officer Frank Witter said in a conference call with reporters. "This situation now is anything but relaxed." But Witter said the group expected the economic recovery to continue and did "not anticipate any nationwide lockdowns in larger markets." Witter said the takeover of U.S. truck maker Navistar International by Volkswagen's trucking unit Traton was an important acquisition, but the "current economic climate will not make this easy." Volkswagen reiterated it expects to post a profit for the full year, saying its business "recovered noticeably" in the third quarter as sales in China of premium vehicles, including Audi and Porsche sports cars, rose 3%. The quarterly performance was also aided by a series of cost-cutting measures launched earlier this year. Volkswagen said its net liquidity rose to 24.8 billion euros from 18.7 billion at the end of the second quarter. Excluding one-time items, third-quarter operating profit was 3.2 billion euros ($3.8 billion), down from 4.8 billion euros a year earlier, but up from a second quarter loss of 1.7 billion. In a note to clients, Jefferies analyst Philippe Houchois described the results as a "solid performance with strong cash, but relatively muted in the context of the (auto) sector recovery." Last week, German rival Daimler reported a record 24% jump in Chinese demand for its Mercedes-Benz cars, boosting its margins in the third quarter. Italian-American Fiat Chrysler Automobiles and Peugeot manufacturer PSA Group both also posted solid results this week. Witter said Volkswagen could not say for sure whether it would meet EU CO2 emissions targets this year, adding "it will be a tough race." At 1030 GMT, Volkswagen shares were up 2.9% at 129.20 euros. Related Video: Earnings/Financials Audi Bentley Bugatti Lamborghini Porsche Volkswagen

Volkswagen Golf SportWagen Alltrack coming to US in 2016 [w/video]

As many versions of the Golf that Volkswagen offers in America, there are even more available overseas. But if the Alltrack was one that you wished would make the transatlantic voyage to US showrooms, we've got good news for you, because VW has confirmed its bringing the Golf SportWagen Alltrack to America. Revealed last year at the Paris Auto Show, the Golf SportWagen Alltrack is VW's answer to a Volvo Cross Country or Subaru Outback. It starts with the Golf SportWagen, which already offers more space than a standard Golf hatch, but adds to it a higher ride height, lower body cladding, a new front bumper and upgraded cabin space. It also crucially gets 4Motion all-wheel drive, something which was previously available only on the top-of-the-line Golf R. The Haldex 5-based system sends power to the front wheels under normal conditions, but can divert up to 50 percent to the back in slippery situations. VW has yet to confirm just which engine and transmission combinations will be offered in the US-spec Alltrack, but it's offered overseas in four flavors: a gasoline-burning turbo four with 178 horsepower and a trio of diesels ranging in output from 109 hp to 182. The US-spec Golf hatch is offered with either a turbo four or a mid-range TDI before getting into the GTI, Golf R and e-Golf alternatives. The German automaker hasn't confirmed exactly when the first examples are set to hit US showrooms, but they're slated for sometime next year. VOLKSWAGEN AT THE 2015 NEW YORK INTERNATIONAL AUTO SHOW - Four Beetle Special Edition concepts introduced: Beetle Convertible Denim, Beetle R-Line, Beetle Convertible Surfer, and Beetle Pink Color Edition - All-wheel-drive Golf SportWagen Alltrack announced for production in 2016 - Volkswagen celebrates 60 years of Beetle heritage New York, New York - Volkswagen of America, Inc., today announced that it will produce the all-wheel-drive Golf SportWagen Alltrack for the U.S. market beginning in 2016, and showed four unique Beetle and Beetle Convertible models that help to commemorate Volkswagen of America's 60th anniversary. Golf SportWagen Alltrack Coinciding with the arrival of the all-new Golf SportWagen, currently available in dealer showrooms, Volkswagen is pleased to announce that the all-wheel-drive Alltrack model will go on sale in 2016 as a 2017 model.