1986 Volkswagen Cabriolet Base Convertible 2-door 1.8l on 2040-cars

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Even 'basic' girls are tired of their cheating VW Jettas

Well, this didn't take long. Former Volkswagen CEO Martin Winterkorn's office probably hasn't even been packed yet, and the jokes about his scandal-ridden former employer have already begun to fly. Today, we'll be featuring the team from Funny Or Die, which has opted to not only skewer Volkswagen for its TDIsaster, but one of the victims of the company's catastrophe – the 'basic' girl. For those not in the know, "basic," according to Urban Dictionary is an adjective reserved for someone "devoid of defining characteristics that might make a person interesting, extraordinary, or just simply worth devoting time or attention to," and that they are "lacking intelligence and unable to socialize on even an elementary level." And when it comes to basic girls, the Volkswagen Jetta is as ubiquitous as a Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte. But with the VW controversy, basic girls are finding their Jettas aren't so good for their green credentials. So check out Funny Or Die's take on these scorned drivers, in the video above. And fair warning, there's a bit of foul language.

If VW defaults on loans it may sell Bentley or Lamborghini

If something goes catastrophically wrong with Volkswagen Group's recent $21 billion loan, brands like Bentley or Lamborghini could hit the auction block. According to two insiders to Reuters, the beleaguered German automaker agrees with its creditors to sell assets if the company somehow can't pay back the debt in a year. One of these anonymous people claimed the company hasn't yet deliberated over what to sell. However, the sources were willing to speculate that the power engineering portion of Man could be among the first to go. "Volkswagen may also consider divesting luxury car brands Bentley and Lamborghini or motor bike brand Ducati, although these units don't really move the needle," an insider said to Reuters. VW Group negotiated with the banks earlier this week to get the massive loan. The cash is necessary as a buffer in case the automaker doesn't have enough money on hand to repair vehicles or settle upcoming fines. VW would reportedly issue bonds in the spring to begin paying the debt. The company's bills will start racking up quickly in the new year. German authorities mandate a recall there in early 2016, and repair campaigns in the US for the 2.0- and 3.0-liter diesel engines are inevitable. There are also hundreds of class-action lawsuits to settle. The company needs to resolve its CO2 emissions scandal in Europe, too. In response to these financial threats, VW management created a cost-cutting plan to slash the research and development budget by $1.1 billion next year.

Volkswagen Group recalls 281,505 VWs and Audis for fuel leaks

The Basics: Volkswagen Group is recalling 281,505 total Volkswagen and Audi brand products in the United States for potential fuel leaks. Certain versions of the Audi A3, A6, A7, Q5, and Q7 are affected. In addition, some versions of the Volkswagen Golf, Golf SportWagen, and Golf GTI fall under the recall. It's unclear if vehicles outside of the United States will be recalled as well. The Problem: There are actually three separate recalls for three separate issues that all pertain to leaky fuel. All three recalls were issued simultaneously. The risk of unintended ignition is the main concern here. First off, 2012-2013 Audi A6 and Audi A7 models [28,249 cars] are being recalled because of a degrading fuel hose in the engine compartment. Secondly, 143,214 gas-powered 2009-2012 Audi Q5s and 2007-2012 Audi Q7s are being recalled. The fuel cap may crack on these vehicles, leaking fuel. Finally, 110,042 total units of the 2015-2016 Volkswagen Golf, Golf SportWagen, GTI, Audi A3 sedan, and A3 Cabriolet will be recalled because of fuel leaking from the evaporative emissions system. Injuries/Deaths: According to Reuters, Volkswagen has reported no injuries or deaths related to the fuel leaks. In addition, the company has said there have been no fires started due to the leaks. The Fix: Three separate issues means three separate fixes. Volkswagen and Audi will be reaching out to customers soon, though the parts aren't yet available. For the A6 and A7, Audi will simply replace the under hood hose. For the Q5 and Q7, dealers will clean the pump flange and install a butyl rubber band to protect the pump. Finally, the affected Golf and A3 models will have the suction cup in the emissions system replaced. If you own one: Volkswagen and Audi will begin contacting owners starting next month regarding a fix. Related Video: News Source: NHTSA, Reuters Recalls Audi Volkswagen