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Even 'basic' girls are tired of their cheating VW Jettas

Well, this didn't take long. Former Volkswagen CEO Martin Winterkorn's office probably hasn't even been packed yet, and the jokes about his scandal-ridden former employer have already begun to fly. Today, we'll be featuring the team from Funny Or Die, which has opted to not only skewer Volkswagen for its TDIsaster, but one of the victims of the company's catastrophe – the 'basic' girl. For those not in the know, "basic," according to Urban Dictionary is an adjective reserved for someone "devoid of defining characteristics that might make a person interesting, extraordinary, or just simply worth devoting time or attention to," and that they are "lacking intelligence and unable to socialize on even an elementary level." And when it comes to basic girls, the Volkswagen Jetta is as ubiquitous as a Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte. But with the VW controversy, basic girls are finding their Jettas aren't so good for their green credentials. So check out Funny Or Die's take on these scorned drivers, in the video above. And fair warning, there's a bit of foul language.

Cost-cutting measures put VW Beetle in jeopardy

Volkswagen is on a mission to cut costs. That means producing more models across its various brands based on the same platforms and powertrains, but the latest word from Germany has it that it will also mean cutting some of the VW brand's less successful models. First on the chopping block, according to German publication Der Spiegel, is the three-door version of the Polo, which will reportedly cede its place to the five-door version exclusively. The elimination of that model alone is said to save VW a good 200 million euros, putting it on its way towards reducing the brand's costs by a targeted five billion euros. The Polo isn't the only one in danger, though. The Eos, as we know, is not due to be replaced, but the future of the Beetle could be in jeopardy as well. The Beetle may be one of VW's most iconic models, but is hardly its most successful in terms of sales. With the 2014 annual report due to be released shortly, the last full-year sales figures had Volkswagen selling 109,517 Beetles in 2013. That may be more than four times the number of Scirocco models it sold, but hardly puts a dent in the 871,413 Jettas, 824,629 Golfs and 725,291 Polos it sold during the same year.

VW readying two-row CUV concept for Detroit

We're likely getting yet another glimpse of Volkswagen's future crossover at the upcoming 2015 North American International Auto Show in Detroit, in January. According to Automotive News, two anonymous sources within the automaker indicate a CUV concept will be shown there. The concept is said to be a five-passenger preview of the brand's future seven-seat model. Previous versions of the crossover have carried the name CrossBlue (pictured above), but there was no indication whether or not that would continue. The original three-row concept debuted at the 2013 auto show in Detroit, and VW followed it up with the CrossBlue Coupe Concept in Shanghai later that year. In early 2014, the company announced the CUV would go into production sometime in 2016, along with plans to invest $7 billion in North America over the next five years. During the summer, the automaker made things even more official when it declared plans to invest $900 million to build a 538,000-square-foot expansion into its Chattanooga, TN, factory to assemble the new model. Production of the crossover was slated to begin by the end of 2016, at the time. According to Automotive News, even more changes in VW's CUV lineup are on the way. The Tiguan is reportedly getting an update next year that could be joined by coupe and long-wheelbase variants, as well.