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Even 'basic' girls are tired of their cheating VW Jettas

Well, this didn't take long. Former Volkswagen CEO Martin Winterkorn's office probably hasn't even been packed yet, and the jokes about his scandal-ridden former employer have already begun to fly. Today, we'll be featuring the team from Funny Or Die, which has opted to not only skewer Volkswagen for its TDIsaster, but one of the victims of the company's catastrophe – the 'basic' girl. For those not in the know, "basic," according to Urban Dictionary is an adjective reserved for someone "devoid of defining characteristics that might make a person interesting, extraordinary, or just simply worth devoting time or attention to," and that they are "lacking intelligence and unable to socialize on even an elementary level." And when it comes to basic girls, the Volkswagen Jetta is as ubiquitous as a Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte. But with the VW controversy, basic girls are finding their Jettas aren't so good for their green credentials. So check out Funny Or Die's take on these scorned drivers, in the video above. And fair warning, there's a bit of foul language.

Audi CEO Rupert Stadler: Ducati is not for sale

"Ducati is not for sale." Those words, attributed to Audi CEO Rupert Stadler, are about as clear and definitive as can be, and they reiterate a previous statement about the potential sale of the premium Italian motorcycle brand that was made in March of this year. "[Ducati and Lamborghini] belong to Audi and, together with us, have an excellent future," said Stadler. Thing is, Audi, as well-off and established as it may be, still falls under the Volkswagen umbrella. And, as you're surely aware, things haven't exactly been smooth sailing for the VW Group over the last several months. The German automaker has squirreled away billions of dollars in anticipation of the legal fallout that's sure to come from the falsification of vehicle emissions data, and that's going to leave the company strapped for cash. All of that bad news led to speculation that VW could sell off some of its non-core businesses. What of the future of the Scania and Man heavy truck brands? Those don't currently appear to be on the auction block, either. VW's continued involvement in the HD truck segment was announced as part of the brand's TOGETHER - Strategy 2025 plan, in which Volkswagen outlined plans to push further into vehicle electrification and vehicle autonomy. Related Video: News Source: Asphalt & RubberImage Credit: Malte Christians/AFP/Getty Earnings/Financials Audi Lamborghini Volkswagen Motorcycle Performance Ducati Scania

VW XL1 priced at $169,000 in UK, only 30 will be sold there

Volkswagen has announced the pricing of its XL1 diesel plug-in hybrid for the UK, according to Car magazine. The small, uber-efficient two-seater will start at GBP98,515, or roughly $168,930 at current exchange rates. Additionally, only 30 units of the XL1 will be sold throughout the UK, giving it a rareness appropriate for its lofty price. It's nice to finally be able to stop speculating about the XL1's price. Even as recently as the first XL1 delivery in Germany, we were still mostly in the dark concerning the cost of the slippery VW. But is the price worth it, especially considering that the much sportier BMW i8 can be had for just a bit more (GBP99,895, or $171,460, in the UK)? Car seems to think so, noting that the XL1 is an eco and technology pioneer, and saying that its cost of ownership is "merely the price of progress." Plus, that includes the bragging rights of owning the world's most fuel-efficient car. The XL1's two-cylinder turbo-diesel engine displaces just eight-tenths of a liter and produces 47 horsepower. The internal combustion engine operates alongside a 26-horsepower electric motor powered by a 5.5-kWh lithium-ion battery pack. Despite its 2.64-gallon fuel tank, the XL1 has a maximum driving range of over 700 miles thanks to a 261-mpg rating (based on the European cycle). Unfortunately, we won't be able to do any bladder-busting, nonstop Chicago to DC road trips any time soon, as VW has no plans to bring the XL1 to North America - not that one would relish the experience of dicing it up with America's massive trucks and SUVs. If you want to drive one, you'll have to go to Europe, and you'd better have a very large piggy bank you're prepared to break open.