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Even 'basic' girls are tired of their cheating VW Jettas

Well, this didn't take long. Former Volkswagen CEO Martin Winterkorn's office probably hasn't even been packed yet, and the jokes about his scandal-ridden former employer have already begun to fly. Today, we'll be featuring the team from Funny Or Die, which has opted to not only skewer Volkswagen for its TDIsaster, but one of the victims of the company's catastrophe – the 'basic' girl. For those not in the know, "basic," according to Urban Dictionary is an adjective reserved for someone "devoid of defining characteristics that might make a person interesting, extraordinary, or just simply worth devoting time or attention to," and that they are "lacking intelligence and unable to socialize on even an elementary level." And when it comes to basic girls, the Volkswagen Jetta is as ubiquitous as a Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte. But with the VW controversy, basic girls are finding their Jettas aren't so good for their green credentials. So check out Funny Or Die's take on these scorned drivers, in the video above. And fair warning, there's a bit of foul language.

VW stock plummets as Euro markets open

The fallout from Volkswagen's installation of an emissions "defeat device" on nearly 500,000 diesel-fueled models in the US is already hitting the automaker hard on the German stock exchange. At one point, the share price plummeted 23 percent to erase the equivalent of $17.6 billion in value. Things eventually bounced back slightly to a still severe 19.23 percent loss, according to Bloomberg as of this writing. The scandal couldn't come at a worse time for chairman Martin Winterkorn. The VW supervisory board takes up the issue of renewing his contract on September 25, Bloomberg reports. If things get bad enough, the door could be open for a new boss to step in. Dealers in the US might start feeling the pain from this, as well. Affected 2015 VWs that are still at showrooms are now under a stop sale. Until the issue is straightened out, the Environmental Protection Agency isn't certifying the company's 2016 diesel models with the 2.0 TDI, either. The diesel emissions problem was first discovered by research from West Virginia University and the International Council on Clean Transportation. In some cases, the engines can produce 40 times more nitrogen oxides than allowed. The automaker could be on the hook for $18 billion in fines for the breach, but the actual figure is expected to be lower. In response, Winterkorn has issued a public apology and ordered an independent investigation into what happened. The EPA and California Air Resources Board have also been looking into the situation. This could become an international problem, though. According to The Detroit News, European authorities might begin similar inquires to check the automaker's diesel emissions there.

VW ready to spend $25B on at least 6 EVs in China by 2018

Standing next to the lovely GTE plug-in hybrid during the Beijing Motor Show, VW CEO Martin Winterkorn announced a renewed, $25-billion focus for the German automaker on electric mobility in China. EVs + China is not a new equation for VW (see here and here and here), but the time is now for the plan to come together, apparently. As Winterkorn said in a statement (available below), "We are launching the biggest initiative for e-mobility in China's automotive history." "We are launching the biggest initiative for e-mobility in China's automotive history" – Martin Winterkorn With the Porsche Panamera S E-hybrid already in showrooms, the next tip of the spear is made up of the all-electric e-up! and e-Golf, both of which are due later this year. In 2015, the Audi A3 e-tron and Golf GTE will arrive. In 2016, there will be two exclusive-to-China plug-in hybrid vehicles in showrooms: a A6 PHEV and a "new mid-size limousine from the Volkswagen brand." VW Group may even throw in the Bentley Hybrid Concept for good measure. The China-only models will be built in the country and VW is investing over $25 billion between now and 2018, creating an expected 20,000 jobs. VOLKSWAGEN GROUP STARTS ELECTRO-MOBILITY CAMPAIGN IN CHINA CEO Prof. Dr. Winterkorn: "We are launching the biggest initiative for e-mobility in China's automotive history." Campaign gets underway with electric up!1 and e-Golf2 Over ˆ18 billion to be spent on new vehicles, technologies and plants up to 2018 Over 500,000 employees at more than 3,600 dealerships in 2018 Vehicle deliveries in China targeted to top 3.5 million for first time in 2014 Wolfsburg / Beijing, April 22, 2014: "The Volkswagen Group is once again assuming a pioneering role in China and launching the biggest initiative for e-mobility in China's automotive history," Prof. Dr. Martin Winterkorn, CEO of Volkswagen Aktiengesellschaft, announced at the Auto China motor show in Beijing. The initiative gets underway with the launch this year of the Volkswagen brand's electric up!1 and e-Golf2 models. While the Porsche Panamera S E-hybrid3 is already in the showrooms in China, the Group will be launching two further innovative plug-in hybrid vehicles there next year with the Audi A3 e-tron4 and the Golf GTE5.