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24 Hours of Le Mans live update part one

We tasked surfing journalist Rory Parker to watch this year's live stream of the 2016 24 Hours of Le Mans. What follows is an experiment to experience the world's greatest endurance race from the perspective of a motorsports novice with a profanity-laden stream-of-consciousness writing style. Parker lives in Hawaii and spends far more time spearfishing than behind the wheel of a car. Jump ahead to Part Two here, and Part Three here. Big Money and billionaire hobbyists and rockets on wheels. Jets belching French color smoke overhead. Balance of power fuckery. Plenty of water on the ground this morning. Absurdly expensive motorcars lined up in the pissing rain. Fast twitch lunatics behind the wheel. Chomping at the bit. Let's go let's go let's go! Race hasn't even started, Ford #67 maybe dealing with clutch issues. Karma? That beautiful bastard Brad Pitt's out on the track, waving the tricolor flag. It's a standing start in "Noah's Ark" weather and the 2016 24 hours of Le Mans is go! First lap takes place behind the safety car, finished in a record setting 8 minutes 27 seconds. Wrong kind of record maybe, but this is the first time I've set my mind to watching the whole damn race. Feel like I'm part of history. 3:00 AM on Kauai, a little too early for life. Sucking down coffee like a maniac. Don't fall back asleep. Got my hands on four hours of rest, how much more can I need? Better be enough for the next twenty four hours. Gonna get kinda punchy toward the end. Jason Statham on the scene. Four feet of solid muscle, non-existent hairline. Lovely wife peanut gallery sitting next to me calls him the "best race car drive in the world." Not sure if she's serious. Toss up, could go either way. Statham's a funny guy. Heir to the Bruce Willis comedy action crown. Really good in the movie where the fat comedy lady plays a spy. Ford's on the road. Problems with gearbox pressure, apparently. Nearing a half hour in and the safety car is still on the track. Hellish amounts of water on the ground, in the air. Visibility is garbage. Getting better. Twitter wags, "Not with a bang but a whimper." Just building suspense. Mother Nature felt like killing some people today, race officials need to dial back the drivers until it dries a tad. Normal inclination would've seen 'em flying, guaranteed early lap wrecks. Sad news for that bloodthirsty part of my lizard brain I try and keep suppressed. Good news for humanity. #12 in the pit for a bit.

The 11 best scenes from the 2015 Goodwood Festival of Speed

Over the last three days, the Goodwood Estate has played home to the eponymous Festival of Speed. Thrown by the biggest gearhead in the British aristocracy – Charles Gordon-Lennox, the Earl of March and Kinrara – the Festival of Speed is essentially a tremendous, gasoline-fuelled party, complete with a very large lawn sculpture, that features the world's hottest, weirdest, fastest, and loudest race, production, and historic models. While there are quite literally dozens and dozens of videos from the event – not to mention the full-day replays (of which only day one is available, at present) – we've sifted through them to pluck away the very best. There's stuff from the official Goodwood YouTube channel, as well as several videos from automakers and other third-party channels, and it's all available below. 2015 Ford Mustang GT350R Looks Barely Controllable If you thought the highest-performance Ford Mustang would somehow get more tractable or civilized once it moved to an independent rear suspension, this video shows you have nothing to worry about. Watch as an unnamed driver wrestles the new Shelby GT350R and its flat-plane, 5.2-liter V8 up the hillclimb circuit. Even with the new suspension and sticky tires, this Mustang wants to go any direction but straight, especially following its launch. 2016 Ford Focus RS, Is Very Loud, Blue Ken Block makes his first appearance on our list. Before he steps into his Hoonicorn Mustang, though, the Gymkhana expert tackled the hill in the all-new Focus RS. The vicious bellow of the 2.3-liter, turbocharged four-cylinder is the star of this commentary-free video, although the gorgeous Nitrous Blue paint job is a nice accompaniment, as well. 1965 Ford Mustang Hoonicorn Runs Hill, Nearly Kills Lord March Mr. Block's two runs behind the wheel of the Hoonicorn were, unsurprisingly, very eventful. While one attempt goes off without a hitch, seeing the American rally driver slip and slide his way to the top of the hill while taking a short break for a donut, the other is slightly more dramatic. Block, along with Lord March in the passenger seat, carries a bit too aggressive an angle into a turn and nearly puts the NASCAR-powered Mustang into the hay bales. Check out the first video above, and the second one below. Kimi Raikkonen Makes Us Miss F1's V8 Era The latest Formula One cars have been maligned for the lackluster noise produced by the new 1.6-liter, turbocharged V6.

Toyo Tires will bring another wild catalog of rides to SEMA

Toyo Tires carts all kinds of toys to SEMA every year, the rubber company planning another 30 or so automotive exhibits this year in two locations. One of them, the Baja 911, comes with a pedigree not usually associated with the bewildering wares hawked at the Las Vegas show. TJ Russell was once lead fabricator for Singer Vehicle Design, now he's the head of Russell Built Fabrication in Sun Valley, CA. Sticking with the marque he knows well, Russell started with a 1991 Porsche Carrera 4 cabriolet, fitted the interior with a full roll cage, then built a hardtop around it to design a desert runner channeling the old Rothmans safari 911s. Underneath that bodywork lives a box-plate trailing arm suspension with 12 inches of travel, working 15-inch Fifteen52 FIA-approved Gravel wheels and 30-inch Toyo Open Country A/T II tires. Power comes from a purpose-built 3.8-liter air-cooled flat-six with about 350 horsepower — 100 hp more than stock — in a car that weighs 400 pounds less than the original. Oh, and as documented on Instagram with the tagline "All race outside, all business inside," the interior's full of quilted, cross-stitched leather, and Toyo says Russell's going to do a low-volume run of the Baja 911 starting early next year. ruffian-ford-mustang-sema-01 View 10 Photos Chris Ashton built a 1970 Ford Mustang Fastback called the Ruffian Mustang, inspired by the Trans Am Racing Series. The exterior changes are more subtle than one might think – the chin spoiler, hood scoop, and side mirrors are barely exaggerated versions of those on the original car, the intake vents astride the front lights and the steel bumpers teleported from 1970. Changes outside include de-chromed and flush-mounted glass, vented hood, front fenders that are dropped an inch, rear fender vents, dual side-exit pipes, and gargantuan fender flares over staggered Signature One wheels and Toyo Proxes 888 tires. The interior's fitted with a roll cage and race car workings. In spite of the Boss 427 badging, the engine's a 625-hp Chevrolet LS3 V8. button-built-ferrari-355-sema-01 View 13 Photos The Button Built Ferrari BB355TT picks up from last year's stanced BB328GTS widebody that gave many Internet denizens heart attacks. Laid up on a 1999 355 Berlinetta, the BB version appends a widebody kit designed Mitchell Button, rendered by Khyzyl Saleem and drenched in Azzuro la Plata, a color from Ferrari's Scagliette palette first used on a 1967 275GTB Le Mans racer.