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Junkyard Gem: 1998 Suzuki Swift, Schnorchel Edition

To enable the use of internal-combustion engines underwater, German submarines during the later years of World War II used a pipe system swiped from the Dutch to suck in air and spit out exhaust. This rig was known as the Schnorchel, and a similar setup can be used on modern trucks to keep the engine from inhaling water or dust during river-fording or off-roading. In fact, you can buy a new Ford Bronco with a factory schnorchel (or snorkel, if you prefer the English spelling) right now. Purchasers of new Suzuki Swifts, however, had no such factory — or even aftermarket — option, and so the final owner of today's Junkyard Gem had to fabricate one using hardware-store components. Yes, this is a fully functional air-intake snorkel, made from PVC pipe and entering the engine compartment via not-so-precision holes sliced through the fender and inner fender. Once in the engine compartment, the pipe connects directly to the engine's throttle body. Sure, for serious underwater use you need to waterproof the distributor plus any sensitive electrical components, not to mention find some way to keep water from getting into transmission vents and the like. We can assume, however, that this snorkel wasn't intended for sustained underwater use. Other limitations of the Swift as an off-road machine, such as suspension design, ground clearance, and lack of four-wheel-drive, may have become apparent once the snorkel was installed. There are some wheel flares installed, to enable the use of oversized wheels and tires. The Swift is the same car as the Suzuki-built Geo Metro, which became the Chevrolet Metro starting in the 1998 model year. Known in its Japanese homeland as the Cultus, these cars were sold in every far-flung corner of the world. It appears that you could buy a new Cultus (with Margalla badges) in Pakistan as recently as a few years ago. This isn't the first interestingly modified second-generation Swift I've found in a Denver-area car graveyard in recent years. Perhaps the "Slokyo Drift" 1996 Swift was modified by the same person. There's just something about a tiny, fully depreciated car that inspires creativity. The 1998 Geo Metro was available with either a 1.0-liter three-cylinder engine or a 1.3-liter four-banger, but every new Swift sold here that year was a big-block car with the 1.3 and its 70 horsepower. This one even has the five-speed manual transmission, for added driving fun. Just 166,280 miles on the clock.

Junkyard Gem: 1991 Geo Metro LSi Convertible

Beginning in 1985, General Motors brought over Suzuki Cultuses and sold them here with Chevrolet Sprint badges, which Americans bought in surprisingly large numbers (considering the crash in fuel prices around that time). When the time came for The General to launch a separate brand selling rebadged Japanese machines— Geo— the second-generation Cultus became the Geo Metro. Sporting a fuel-sipping three-cylinder engine, the Metro mostly sold to penny-pinchers interested only in cheap commutingÂ… but GM decided to make a fun convertible version, anyway. Here's one of those cars, finally retired near Denver at age 30. The 1991 Metro hierarchy started with the El Cheapo base and XFi models, at $6,795 (about $13,810 today), then moved up to the better-equipped LSi. The LSi hatchback coupe cost $7,795 ($15,840 in 2021), while the LSi convertible stood at the top of the Metro pyramid at $9,740 ($19,795 now). Believe it or not, Ford managed to undercut the 1991 Metro with its Mazda-built Festiva, priced at $6,620 in its cheapest form. You could buy a Suzuki-badged version of this car, known as the Swift, and the Swift GT had a screaming four-cylinder engine. 1995 and later Metros also had the option of a four-banger, but a 1.0-liter three-cylinder was the only engine available in the 1991 Geo Metro. If you wanted to get close to 60 highway miles per gallon, the Metro XFi had a specially-tuned 1.0 that delivered, though it sent a mere 49 horsepower to the front wheels (the last new car available in the United States with under 50 horsepower— including highway-legal EVs— was the 1993 Metro XFi, by the way). The engine in today's Junkyard Gem was rated at 55 horses. A five-speed manual transmission was standard equipment in every 1991 Metro, though a thoroughly miserable three-speed slushbox could be had for $465 extra (about $945 today). Because most Metro buyers wanted fuel economy first and foremost, automatic Metros are rare (though I have managed to find one in a boneyard). How many total miles? The five-digit odometer means we'll never know. The 1991 Metro convertible came from Japan, but all the others sold here that year were built in Canada. Today, that plant builds the Chevy Equinox. A new convertible for less than 10 grand was a steal in 1991, when a new Mercury Capri convertible cost $12,588.

Here are a few of our automotive guilty pleasures

It goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway. The world is full of cars, and just about as many of them are bad as are good. It's pretty easy to pick which fall into each category after giving them a thorough walkaround and, more important, driving them. But every once in a while, an automobile straddles the line somehow between good and bad — it may be hideously overpriced and therefore a marketplace failure, it may be stupid quick in a straight line but handles like a drunken noodle, or it may have an interior that looks like it was made of a mess of injection-molded Legos. Heck, maybe all three. Yet there's something special about some bad cars that actually makes them likable. The idea for this list came to me while I was browsing classified ads for cars within a few hundred miles of my house. I ran across a few oddballs and shared them with the rest of the team in our online chat room. It turns out several of us have a few automotive guilty pleasures that we're willing to admit to. We'll call a few of 'em out here. Feel free to share some of your own in the comments below. Dodge Neon SRT4 and Caliber SRT4: The Neon was a passably good and plucky little city car when it debuted for the 1995 model year. The Caliber, which replaced the aging Neon and sought to replace its friendly marketing campaign with something more sinister, was panned from the very outset for its cheap interior furnishings, but at least offered some decent utility with its hatchback shape. What the two little front-wheel-drive Dodge models have in common are their rip-roarin' SRT variants, each powered by turbocharged 2.4-liter four-cylinder engines. Known for their propensity to light up their front tires under hard acceleration, the duo were legitimately quick and fun to drive with a fantastic turbo whoosh that called to mind the early days of turbo technology. — Consumer Editor Jeremy Korzeniewski  Chevrolet HHR SS: Chevy's HHR SS came out early in my automotive journalism career, and I have fond memories of the press launch (and having dinner with Bob Lutz) that included plenty of tire-smoking hard launches and demonstrations of the manual transmission's no-lift shift feature. The 260-horsepower turbocharged four-cylinder was and still is a spunky little engine that makes the retro-inspired HHR a fun little hot rod that works quite well as a fun little daily driver.