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Mercedes may be working on a new electric car dubbed 'Ecoluxe'

Automobile has a lengthy piece this month on how the four German mass-market luxury manufacturers each plan to go after Tesla with their own electric vehicles. It was written by Georg Kacher, the magazine's European bureau chief, and the English version came a month after he wrote the German-language original for Autobild. Tesla isn't exactly a threat to the Germans, but, according to the report, the Model S is planting the right kinds of seeds in niches that are important to the luxury players. The thinking is that - in addition to needed electric vehicles anyway for stricter US regulations - it's better to start designing the machinery now. The article posited Porsche's attack would rest on the coming Panamera platform, but a big hurdle would be battery placement. Unable to find one large space for a lithium-ion pack, engineers would instead put batteries everywhere they could, for a supposed tally of some "108 battery pouches" throughout the body. A few days after the Automobile piece, however, Porsche publicly said it had no intention of challenging the Model S, because the enthusiastic driving the brand is known for doesn't jive with useful range. In Kacher's retelling, Mercedes' plans are even more ambitious, supposedly taking aim at the Model S and the coming Model X. It would do this with an investment in excess of $2 billion in a program called "Ecoluxe" – Mercedes has no brand division akin to BMW's i and Audi's e-tron. The new brand would create a four-strong family of bespoke electric vehicles: a smaller platform with a wheelbase around 106 inches and a larger one with a wheelbase around 118 inches. In addition, the range would have "provisions for rear-wheel drive, all-wheel drive, and rear-wheel steering." The numbers are impressive: seating for seven in the larger vehicles, both longer than 16 feet, front and rear storage areas, ratings of up to 610 horsepower and production capacity of 80,000 units per year. When would we see such creatures? Perhaps as soon as 2019. We do know that if Tesla can knock the Model X over the outfield fence, automakers are going to have to do something. We don't know what the chances are that Ecoluxe is Mercedes' first move - but such a plan could help explain the weird Mercedes concept spied in October.

Porsche confirms four-cylinder Boxster, Cayman replacement for US

Those who've been anxiously awaiting the return of the four-cylinder Porsche will be glad to know that the wait is almost over. What's more, the quad-pot Porsches won't be kept away from US showrooms but will form an integral part of the company's North American strategy. Confirmation comes courtesy of Automotive News, which spoke to the company's chief executive Matthias Muller about its return to four-cylinder power. "First of all, we will have it in the Boxster and Cayman successor," Muller told AN. "And then we will see how it works and how successful it is and how the customers will react on that, and then we will take the next decisions." The model to which Muller refers is expected to be the 718 – a new line taking the place of the Boxster and Cayman, ostensibly allowing Zuffenhausen to start from scratch rather than "downsizing" the engine on existing models. The new range is anticipated to launch sometime in the middle of next year. Porsche is currently offering a 2.0-liter inline-four with 234 horsepower in the Macan (which we get with V6s) for certain markets overseas, but the 718 is expected to get a new flat-four 2.0- and 2.5-liter displacements with output edging up to 395 horsepower. The last time Porsche offered a four-pot in the US was with the front-engined 968 that wrapped up production two decades ago, but it hasn't offered a boxer four since 1976.

This man literally loves a Porsche [NSFW]

Think you know what "auto erotic" means? Think again. Because one man in Thailand has redefined the term. Caught on security camera footage this guy lurks into a garage, looks over both shoulders, evidently misses the camera, drops trou and has his way with a Porsche Boxster. When the tailpipe proved too hot (or otherwise inhospitable), he moves up to the radiator grille and – ahem – finishes up there. Sadly this isn't even the first time we've come across this particular perversion. We'd urge caution before viewing the video, not only because it's not suitable for a workplace environment, but because once you see it, you're bound to repeatedly blurt out, "Why, man!? Why?"