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Porsche Panamera Turbo S vs Ariel Atom Supercharged in unlikely drag battle

David versus Goliath battles are always an enticing proposition, because they offer the chance to watch scrappy underdogs take on their bigger rivals. Evo has set up just such a battle with its latest drag race between the minimalist Ariel Atom 3.5 Supercharged (Ariel Atom 3 pictured below) and the plush Porsche Panamera Turbo S.
The two cars couldn't be more different. The Atom personifies Lotus founder Colin Chapman's well-known axiom: "Simplify, then add lightness." Most of the car doesn't even have a body; it's just an exposed frame with a 310 horsepower supercharged Honda four-cylinder mounted behind the driver. On the other side, there's the Panamera Turbo S. In the latest version, it packs 570 hp and 553 pound-feet from its 4.8-liter twin-turbo V8 and it features all-wheel drive. Of course, all of that comes with a significant weight penalty.
Off the line, the differences are even more apparent. The Atom doesn't have any of the Porsche's technological wizardry, so launching it challenges the driver to build the revs and let out the clutch just right. The car screams like a banshee as it goes, though. The Porsche is the exact opposite. Its launch control system lets the driver hold down the brake, get on the throttle and accelerate away in just the right way.

Mark Webber treats Maria Sharapova to a Porsche 918 Spyder joyride

We don't much like Mark Webber right now. Part of being a racing driver is dealing with promotional stuff. It's not hard to find a driver that can't stand all this nonsense, whether it be promoting a product, meeting investors or attending some obscure event. Even a driver of Webber's caliber - a former Formula One driver for Red Bull Racing and a member of Porsche's factory Le Mans team - has to serve his time at the promo events.
Somehow, though, we don't think the Aussie driver minds this particular promo detail. In the video below, Webber attends the Porsche Tennis Grand Prix in Stuttgart. He then takes tennis superstar Maria Sharapova out for a spin behind the wheel of the Porsche 918 Spyder. The level of jealousy at the Autoblog office is palpable.
Take a look below for the video. And as we're super jealous of Mr. Webber, hop into Comments and caption the above photo based on what you think he's saying to Maria. Bonus points if you can work "vegemite" into the caption.

Former Porsche execs acquitted of stock manipulation charges

A German court acquitted former Porsche CEO Wendelin Wiedeking and former CFO Holger Harter of stock manipulation charges, according to Bloomberg. Prosecutors alleged the men hid plans to takeover Volkswagen while publicly denying their intentions to investors. The presiding judge didn't find any merit to those claims, though. "There is nothing to the allegations, absolutely nothing," Judge Frank Maurer said, according to Bloomberg. "There was no secret plan to take over VW." Rather than Porsche taking over VW, the exact opposite eventually happened, and both execs stepped down. Investigators first indicted Wiedeking and Harter for alleged stock manipulation in late 2012. A court in Stuttgart dismissed the case in 2014 because of a lack of evidence, but an appeals court later overruled that decision. The current trial finally began in October 2015. If convicted, Wiedeking faced up to 30 months in prison, and Harter could have received up to 27 months, Bloomberg reported. Prosecutors also wanted one million euro ($1.1 million) fines from them and 807 million euros ($910 million) from Porsche. The acquittal might not be the end of this long-running case, though. In Germany, prosecutors have the right to appeal a ruling, and the lawyer hasn't made a final decision yet. If the court thinks there's a reason, the former execs could be back in front of a judge at some point in the future.