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Monstrous 1969 Pontiac Firebird / 522 Hp 383 Stroker Engine Restomod on 2040-cars

Year:1969 Mileage:3432
Location:

Irvine, California, United States

Irvine, California, United States
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I should start by saying that if you are looking for a “fuel-saving car” you my friend, should keep looking. If you are looking for a short description of the beast before you, I can offer you two words “MEAT & POTATOES”. This is the All American chariot of the free world.


You are not dealing with any ordinary, cookie cutter car. This thing was forged from a single block of all American Tungsten Steel. Real sturdy! From that day forward my life has never been the same. Winch yourself off that couch and see if you can handle this 1969 Pontiac Firebird.


There are MANY reasons to love classic muscle cars. Most people drive them because they look good and sound cool. A lot of folks enjoy them because of the memories they've made in them. And some savvy collectors buy them based on numbers alone.  Some just want to get some fresh a** poontang. Well, every once in a while a car like this awesome 1969 Pontiac Firebird comes along and presents the rare opportunity to bundle all of those attractive traits into one exceptionally cool package. It's a 1969 Pontiac-freaking-Firebird, so it automatically looks good and sounds massively awesome.  Since it is some of the most storied American muscle ever built, I'm willing to bet everyone has at least one great memory of this car. 

However, this is no ordinary Firebird.  It's a gorilla of a custom car, with the following upgrades performed on it:


-Custom 522 HP 383 Stroker Engine 

-575 lb ft of brute power torque 

-Upgraded 10 bolt positraction rear end with 390 gears 

-Hurst shifter 4 speed muncie 

-4 custom drilled power disc brakes 

-Dakota coded digital dash 

-Recaro Sport Seats 20” Boss wheels & Hancook Ventus tires 

-Electric fan w/ auto thermostat 

-Custom traction bars 

-MSD Ignition w/ Redline rev-limiter 3” 

-Flowmasters with full Headers 

-Double center force clutch 

-LoJack system

-Brilliant Metallic Silver paint

-Brand new interior leather


So if you are looking for a rice burning hatch back, a solar powered liberal mobile, or even a Hyundai crossover keep on looking my friend this thing is a piece of red white and blue Americana Machinery.


This baby’s pulse is pumping sh*tloads liters of uncensored raw fuel through her eight nuclear power plant.  The monstrous engine sounds is guaranteed to practically wake up your entire sissy as* neighborhood, so that's a fact you will have to live with as you proudly announce your arrival every time you come home.  I have no idea what is the real MPG is on this thirsty leviathan, but I assure you it gulps on gas as if it was one of the cars from Mad Max desperate to outrun a nuclear missile.  And oh boy, well worth it.


And rest assured this is no metro feminine automatic. . .you command her to obey, with your calloused hand planted firmly on the Hurst manual shifter. And she will obey, the first time, every time. If you can’t handle your stick shifter, or reach the rock hard clutch pedal, you better not ferry skip over here wanting to test drive her. If you stall her out, you can count on getting hit in the face with a piece of re-bar and sent back where you came from.


This monster has no A/C but are you kidding me….Really! If you want to blow the sweat off your brow, you do it the old fashioned way: Stick your head out while driving like a man. “What if it rains?”. . .You whiney b*tch! I told you to stop reading. . . Any man who drives this beast doesn’t give a damn about rain.  The monstrous 522 hp engine is guaranteed to make you lose 30 lbs off your fat face anyway as you boil away while impressing the sh*t out of everyone you encounter driving this car.


And forget about putting one of those “I Heart my Pontiac” stickers on this machine cause when you’re spotted in this American Classic there will be no questions, no further explanation required, people will understand and get out of your way. . …real quick.  They'll be in fuc*ing awe as they see this custom classic muscle car drive by them.


If you successfully win this auction and buy this Firebird you better go get your old lady ready for some damn changes around your lair, cause this sh*t will be happening. What will be Happening? Glad you asked….


1. More chest hair.
2. You’re growing a Paul Bunyan beard.
3. Meat Only Diet.
4. T-Rex for a pet.

5. You’re going to start wearing black leather jackets.
6. S*x in the car.
7. Pen*s enlargement.
8. Catch more fish.  
9. Wire bristled toothbrush.
10. S*x in the yard.
11. S*x in the garage.
12. All male offspring.
13. Chiseled jaw line.
14. Not giving a damn.
15. Flesh turning to steel.
16. Higher salary.
17. Promotions.
18. Better looking wives.
19. Better looking mistresses.
20. More golfing.
21. More killing stuff.
22. More dead animals in the KITCHEN freezer.
23. More tools in your garage.
24. Bigger TV.
25. Wife takes out the trash.
26. Wife worships you everyday.
27. Wife brings trash can in from road.
28. Wife stops bitching about clothes on floor.
29. Wife stocks fridge with beer.
30. Chuck Norris.
31. John McCain.
32. Steaks for dinner.
33. Winning the Lottery.
34. Women on the side.
35. Wrestling with bea.
36. Building shit out of stone.
37. Riding Lawn Mower.
38. Bon Fires in cul-de-sac.
39. Bar Fights.
40. Wife picks you up from Spearmint Rhino's Gentlemen Club.
41. Craftsman Tools.
42. Jay Bisset.
43. Welding stuff.
44. Digging holes.
45. Huge piece of meat.


Put your GPS back in your purse.

Sounds good doesn’t it?


This Firebird has carried me through 3,350 miles of sexy concrete twice as gruesome as the second half of the movie “Drive?. . ..And just like a trusty steed this juggernaut has never left me disappointed. 


But if you think you’re going to get to whip this mule you better pony up above my reserve price…...American Cash. I’m not selling you this car unless you are clearly a pure blooded American Species, so don’t even think about it.


Good luck son.

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German prosecutors have recorded calls between VW bigwigs talking dieselgate

Thu, Mar 21 2019

It's barely possible to believe how poorly Volkswagen continues to handle dieselgate. Depending on which day you catch the news, the German carmaker embodies the corporate venality of "Michael Clayton," the comic blundering of the Coen Brothers' "Burn After Reading," and the every-man-for-himself vengeance of "Reservoir Dogs." Today is Tarantino day, with news that German prosecutors have recordings of phone calls between former Audi and Porsche development boss Wolfgang Hatz, ex-Volkswagen Group executive Matthias Muller, and current Porsche executives Oliver Blume and Michael Steiner. Hatz made the calls to the trio in November 2015, two months after Volkswagen admitted its diesel-particulate sins to the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency. Hatz was still employed at the time, and in his company car. Who recorded the calls? His wife. Hatz and his missus apparently saw the storm coming and started stacking defenses early. Hatz's wife, who can be heard encouraging Hatz during at least one call, sent the recordings to Hatz's attorney from her mobile phone. According to a Google translation of the German newspaper Handelsblatt's report, she included the note, "Here is a very long, but quite informative conversation on the current situation with useful formulations." The report in Handelsblatt said that in Germany it is generally "not allowed" to record a conversation and pass it on to a third party. We don't know how the authorities will handle this matter, since prosecutors found the recordings in e-mail attachments on Mrs. Hatz's mobile phone. Remember, when the diesel scandal broke, VW spent months saying that only a small number of low-level personnel were behind it, and all of the higher-ups had been blindsided. Ex-CEO Martin Winterkorn claimed to be "stunned that misconduct on such a scale was possible in the Volkswagen Group." Winterkorn successor Matthias Muller said, "according to current information, a few developers interfered in the engine management." Former VW USA honcho Michael Horn told a congressional committee that "a couple of software engineers" programmed the software for reasons no one could understand. In the recorded conversations, Hatz apparently called Muller to find out how VW planned to treat him.

Junkyard Gem: 1989 Pontiac Sunbird SE Coupe

Sat, Jun 11 2022

General Motors built the fantastically successful J-Body cars starting at the dawn of the 1980s and continuing well into our current century, on five continents. The Pontiac Division's version of the J started out being called the J2000 and the 2000, then got the Sunbird name originally used on the Pontiac-ized Chevy Monza starting in 1983. Here's a once-slick-looking 1989 Sunbird SE Coupe, found at a Minneapolis-area boneyard way back in 2016. The best-known of all the J-Body cars, here, was the Chevrolet Cavalier, but Pontiac far outdid even the most blinged-up Cavalier Z24 when it came to elaborate taillights. Because this is Minnesota, the car is a patchwork of various layers of junkyard-obtained rusty body parts. One fender has TURBO badges from a Sunbird GT. The other side has the correct engine badges for this model. That engine is a 2.0-liter, single-overhead-cam straight-four from an engine family originally developed for the Opel Kadett D. This one was rated at 96 horsepower when new. This one has the automatic transmission, so it wouldn't have been very much fun to drive. Check out that cool parking brake handle, though! And, hey, is that a full can of Colorado Cool-Aid in the foot well? You'd think a proper Minnesota Pontiac would at least be full of Grain Belt cans. It appears that Higley Ford in Windom, Minn., had this car on the lot at some point. Windom is closer to Sioux Falls than to Minneapolis. This final mileage total looks good for a car living in Tinworm Country. Pontiac built this generation of Sunbird from the 1988 through 1994 model years, though it was really just a facelift of the first-generation cars. Starting in 1995, the Pontiac J-Body became the Sunfire, and production continued until the J platform itself got the axe in 2005. This content is hosted by a third party. To view it, please update your privacy preferences. Manage Settings. In the 90s, fun will become the exclusive province of the rich. To which the Sunbird driver replies, "Bullish!" Related Video: This content is hosted by a third party. To view it, please update your privacy preferences. Manage Settings.

Junkyard Gem: 1968 Pontiac Catalina sedan

Wed, Aug 14 2019

During the late 1960s, General Motors ruled the American car landscape, growing so dominant that the federal government considered antitrust action to break up the company. The General offered sporty Corvettes and muscular GTOs and rugged pickups and opulent Fleetwoods, sure, but the fat part of the sales numbers came from the bread-and-butter full-sized sedans and coupes, which boasted superior engineering and modern-looking styling; in 1967 alone, the Chevrolet Division moved 972,600 full-sized cars, and that's not even counting the 155,100 full-sized Chevy station wagons that year. Pontiac, Buick and Oldsmobile sold the same big cars with division-specific engines and bodywork, and they flew off the showroom floors. For 1968, the entry-level full-sized car from Pontiac was the Catalina, and I've found an example of the most affordable version of the most affordable big Pontiac for 1968, discarded in a northeastern Colorado wrecking yard about 50 miles south of Cheyenne, Wyoming. A '68 GM full-sized coupe, convertible, or even a four-door hardtop might be worth the cost and effort of a restoration, but a no-options base-trim-level post sedan with rust and plenty of body filler just won't get many takers these days. Like so many vehicles that sit outside for decades on the High Plains, this one is full of rodent nests. I wouldn't want to work on the interior of this car without a respirator and a lot of work with a shop-vac, because hantavirus is a significant danger in these parts. Alfred Sloan's plan to offer a stepladder of prestige for GM buyers, in which your first new car was a Chevrolet and you moved up through Pontiac, Oldsmobile, and Buick until you became sufficiently prosperous for Cadillac ownership, worked brilliantly for decades. In 1968, the Catalina was a notch above its Impala sibling on the Snob-O-Meter, with the sedan starting at $3,004 (about $22,600 in 2019 dollars). In fact, the V8-equipped 1968 Chevrolet Impala sedan listed at $3,033, and the Oldsmobile Delmont 88 went for $3,146, so the lines were beginning to blur between the relative positions of the lower-end GM divisions by this time. The base engine in the 1968 Catalina was a 400-cubic-inch (6.5 liter) V8 rated at 265 horsepower and enough torque to tow an aircraft carrier.