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This junkyard '91 Grand Am is as hooptie as it gets

I spend a lot of time in junkyards. A lot of time. With all this experience, I have learned to recognize a perfect hooptie when I see one, a car whose final owner got every last bit of use out of it when its value was hovering right about at scrap value. This 1991 Pontiac Grand Am that I spotted in a San Francisco Bay Area self-service wrecking yard a few days ago, from the final model year for the third-generation Grand Am, checks all the hooptie boxes just right. First of all, it's a low-option coupe with the wretched and unloved GM Iron Duke engine, a rattly, gnashy, thrashy 2.5-liter four-cylinder kludged together using off-the-shelf parts from the Pontiac 301-cubic-inch V8 during the darkest years of the Malaise Era and used in cars whose buyers just didn't care. Most of the paint has been burned off by 25 years of harsh California sun, but the car spent sufficient time in a damp, shady spot for lichens to build up here and there. There are skeletons-with-sombreros stencils sprayed here and there, plus a big moonshine-guzzling skeleton mural painted on the hood. Goodbye, property values! Still, someone felt some affection for this car, giving it the name "Good Ol' Snakey" and painting that name on the decklid. We can assume that the Iron Duke was a bit loose by this time, probably leaving a serpentine trail of blue smoke behind the car at all times. So, the combination of cheapness, ugliness, menace, and who-gives-a-damn functionality make this Grand Am an excellent example of a pure hooptie. Within a couple of months, it will be crushed, shredded, shipped out of the Port of Oakland, and reborn in China as refrigerators and Geely Emgrands. Somewhere in Northern California, though, a few of Ol' Smokey's friends will remember this car fondly.

Want to buy a worst-in-show-winning Faux Ferrari Fiero?

UPDATE: This heap sold for $5,001. But don't fret, there are more terrible cars out there for the taking if that's your thing. Today we bring you something truly terrible. It's not just a fake Ferrari built on the guts of an old Pontiac Fiero, it's actually the world's worst fake Ferrari built on the guts of an old Pontiac Fiero. And it's got the award from the Concours d'Lemons to prove it. It's so heinous, in fact, that it has somehow managed to become desirable, at least judging by the bidding history of this bright red affront to Maranello. Powered by a 140-horsepower 2.8-liter V6 engine (covered by an unconvincing and broken fake V12 cover) hooked to an automatic gearbox, this gloriously poor Prancing Horse won't be winning many stoplight drag races. There are bundles of stray wires hanging down from the dashboard, it has high mileage, most of its lights don't work, and it's ugly. Like, really ugly. And to top it off, this Fauxrarri can't currently be registered in its home state of California because it has failed its most recent smog test. Put simply, you're looking at a total piece of junk. But a piece of junk with internet notoriety, having been featured on an episode of Jay Leno's Garage after attending the 2019 Quail Motorsports Gathering — by mistake at first, and then earning a special place next to the porta potties — being the focus of a video series on YouTube and winning the aforementioned ribbon for Worst in Show at Lemons. Somehow, bidding has topped $4,000 at the time of this writing. This content is hosted by a third party. To view it, please update your privacy preferences. Manage Settings. If you want to earn the ire of your neighbors — and to be clear, we really wouldn't recommend it — click on over to Cars & Bids to view the auction. There are four days left to hit the "bid" button. Consider yourself warned. Related Video:

GM reintroduces Tripower name in the worst way possible

The story of General Motors' use of the Tripower moniker begins way back in 1957, when Semon E. "Bunkie" Knudsen, then General Manager of GM's Pontiac division, directed his engineers to inject more performance into his brand's line of V8-powered automobiles. Fuel injection was an option, but hot rodders flocked instead to Tri-Power (marketed way back when with a hyphen), which grafted a trio of two-barrel Rochester carburetors onto a single intake manifold. A legend was born. And that legend was born of performance. At idle and when full power wasn't required, Pontiac's Tri-Power system used just the middle carburetor, which helped make the setup easier to tune. Depending on the year and model, either a vacuum system or a mechanical linkage opened up the two outer carbs, thereby switching from two barrels to six, and allowing the engine to take in more fuel and air. And it was an easy marketing win – six barrels is better than four barrels, right? Because performance! So, when news filtered in that GM has resurrected the Tripower name, those of us who grew up attending classic car shows and wrenching on old Pontiacs did a double-take. And then we all collectively sighed. Turns out that today's Tripower refers to a trio of fuel-saving measures that include cylinder deactivation, active thermal management, and intake valve lift control, according to Automotive News. And, at least for now, it applies to GM's line of fullsize trucks powered by a 2.7-liter turbocharged four-cylinder engine. We're all for saving fuel whenever possible. And we have zero say in how any automaker chooses to market its products and technologies. But, we'll offer our two cents anyway: Relaunching a storied name from the past is fine. Relaunching a storied name from the past while completely overlooking the reasons the name got famous in the first place is only going to irritate the people who remember the name in the first place. Couldn't they just call this new technology package something else? Related Video: News Source: Automotive NewsImage Credit: Getty Green Marketing/Advertising Chevrolet GM Pontiac Automotive History Truck chevrolet silverado