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This Mitsubishi dealer's rap ad is so bad it's awesome

Sometimes you stumble upon something online that is so incredibly, bad that there is actually something great about. With that in mind, Southside Mitsubishi in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, might have created one of the worst/best automotive raps we've ever seen.
While there is no way the dealership went into this video thinking it would actually be good, it's hard to imagine it could have ended up so incredibly cheesy. Whether it's the frontman who looks like Vladimir Putin on his worst day ever, the extras who clearly don't want to be there or the inexplicable reference to that Baha Men classic, "Who Let The Dogs Out?" this video is a black hole of suffering - there is no escape. We knew things were bad at Mitsubishi, and man, this isn't helping.
Scroll down to inflict this awful awesomeness on yourself, and remind yourself of the infamous Swagger Wagon from Toyota to see that not all ironic automotive rapping has to be painful.

Mitsubishi realigning its SUV range to create more size difference

A report in Autocar says Mitsubishi wants more literal space between its three core SUVs. The outlet quotes "a senior source" saying, "Today we aren't in an ideal position, with our SUVs close in size, but in the next 18 months you will start to see a strategy that separates them out." Redesigns for the next generation of the Outlander, Eclipse Cross, and Outlander Sport will put about 200 millimeters' (7.9 inches) difference in length between each. Right now, the Outlander stands 184.8 inches long, the Eclipse Cross 173.4 inches long, and the Outlander Sport is scarcely smaller at 171.9 inches long. Autocar says the revamp would see the Outlander grow, while the Outlander Sport gets smaller. Based on the comments, if the Outlander gets longer, then we wouldn't be surprised at seeing the Eclipse Cross putting on a few inches, too. The first fruit should blossom next year, and be possible thanks to platform-sharing within the Renault-Nissan-Mitsubishi alliance. Comparing Mitsubishi to Nissan's formula, the Rogue is 184.5 inches long, the Rogue Sport 172.4 inches. We don't get the Juke any more, which is 162.8 inches long; our Nissan Kicks extends 169.1 inches. The coming range will extend plug-in hybrid and full electric options, too. Naturally, the Outlander PHEV will make the jump to a new generation, and the Eclipse Cross will come in hybrid and PHEV flavors. An updated PHEV powertrain shown in the Engelberg Tourer Concept at the Geneva Motor Show paired a 2.4-liter four-cylinder and two electric motors at the axles, for 44 miles of EV range on the WLTP cycles. That's 16 more EV miles than the current Outlander PHEV can go. The Outlander Sport will get a battery-electric trim. The "senior source" said, "We will not have a unique nameplate, but instead offer the appropriate electrification options for the vehicles and how people will use them." There's likely a lot more in store for the brand, especially in the U.S., although we have no idea what that is. Takao Kato will take over as CEO of Mitsubishi global next month, with the mandate of carrying out the carmaker's "small but beautiful" strategy. The initiative puts steady growth and profit ahead of disruptive leaps. Kato has experience in the U.S., having helped set up the joint manufacturing plant with Chrysler in Illinois in 1988. Even so, he's said of our region, "It's not easy to be in that market," and would only go so far as saying "probably not" when asked if leaving the U.S. is an option.

Carlos Ghosn's new lawyer, 'the Razor,' starts slashing

TOKYO — Carlos Ghosn's new lawyer took aim at Nissan, prosecutors and courts on Wednesday, dismissing the charges against the ousted chairman as an internal company matter and saying Japan was out of step with international norms by keeping his client in jail. "This should have been dealt with as an internal matter," Junichiro Hironaka, nicknamed the Razor, said at his first press briefing. Ghosn, who was arrested in November over alleged financial misconduct and remains in detention in a Tokyo jail, picked a new team last week with long-time defense attorney Hironaka as a key member to replace Motonari Otsuru, a lawyer who once ran the prosecutor's office investigating him. Hironaka's combative style contrasts with the low-key approach adopted by media-shy Otsuru. Ghosn's switch to an aggressive legal strategy came after his attempts to win bail failed and just before lawyers were due to sit down with prosecutors and judges for the first time to hash out a schedule for pre-trial discovery meetings, where prosecutors will reveal evidence and submit a list of witnesses. Hironaka said he didn't know why Ghosn picked him, but added that Ghosn probably wanted an experienced criminal lawyer as the case moved toward trial. The 73-year-old defense attorney is reputed for winning high profile cases, including the acquittal of a senior lawmaker, Ichiro Ozawa, on financial misconduct charges. He also helped free a senior bureaucrat Atsuko Muraki who was jailed for four months on corruption charges fabricated by prosecutors. Yet, even with greater legal firepower the former Nissan Motor Co boss faces a criminal justice system where only three out of every 100 defendants pleading not guilty are acquitted. Neither does Japan have a plea-deal mechanism that would allow Ghosn to agree to lesser charges for a lighter sentence. "The change in lawyers means a change in style, but the legal strategy will still be the same. I don't think it increases Ghosn's chance of an acquittal," said Masashi Akita, a defense lawyer at Shin-Yu Law Office in Osaka, ahead of Wednesday's comments by Hironaka. Ghosn has lost his perch atop an automotive alliance trio of French carmaker Renault SA and Japanese automakers Nissan and Mitsubishi Motors Corp. Attempts to win bail, including an offer to wear a GPS ankle bracelet and hire security guards to stop him trying to tamper with evidence, failed.