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Kit Cat: Mercury Cougar makes perfect Bugatti Veyron substitute

Bugatti Veyron kit car - Click above for high-res image gallery
If you've got a pulse in your wrist and a snapping brain cell in your head, chances are you wouldn't mind parking a Bugatti Veyron in your garage. But for most mere mortals, scrounging up the cash for a physics-bending piece of 16-cylinder glory would require all sorts of unpalatable tasks. Fortunately for those who want to look the part without having to participate in human trafficking, the kit car universe has stepped in to save the day. All you need is a 1999-2002 Mercury Cougar, a boat load of fiberglass and a little patience.
Oh, and $89,000.

Junkyard Gem: 1970 Mercury Cougar

The plot of the Mercury Cougar story took a lot of strange twists and turns during its 35 or so years, from ponycar to immense luxobarge to family sedan to station wagon to Integra competitor. Examples of the first Cougar generation are nearly extinct in American wrecking yards, so I was excited to spot this one in Denver. Lest you shed any tears over this car going to the crusher, know that it was suffering from the ravenous teeth of the Rust Monster long before it got here. The 1967-1970 Cougar was based on the Mustang platform of the same era, and so it was a sleeker and quicker cat than its successors. Still, the longer wheelbase, extra equipment and all the cool-looking bodywork added some heft; the 1970 Mustang hardtop with V8 scaled in at 2,923 pounds, while the 1970 Cougar weighed 3,307 pounds. The current Ford Focus would fit just between those two weights. There was also a mid-cycle refresh in that era, with the '67-'68 and '69-'70 having different exterior styling and interiors. The '69 and '70 had different front end styling as well, with the latter re-adopting the vertical grille slats featured on the earlier model years. The '69 has horizontal slats. The drivetrain and just about everything else of value has been shorn from this car, perhaps before it arrived in this yard. In 1970, a bewildering assortment of V8 engines was available in the Cougar, including a Boss 302, two completely different 351s, and a 335-horse Cobra Jet 428. The base engine was a 351 Windsor making 250 gross horsepower. Since car rooftops mostly don't rust, why would someone cut out this one? Sheet metal needed for patching a leaky shed roof, perhaps? This 2005-2006 Denver Nuggets window sticker indicates that the car was on the street (probably) as recently as 11 years ago. This content is hosted by a third party. To view it, please update your privacy preferences. Manage Settings. It's savage. It's cool. It's primitive. It's sleek. It's wild. It's elegant. Password for action in the 70s! Featured Gallery Junked 1970 Mercury Cougar View 18 Photos Auto News Mercury

What do you do with a fake Bugatti Veyron for $60k?

Replica cars are a challenging labor of love because builders spend countless hours recreating a vehicle that people immediately compare to the real thing. Perhaps, the person behind this Mercury Cougar-based Bugatti Veyron should look for another way to pass that time. The coupe is currently for sale on eBay Motors for $59,900. The builder deserves some credit because the fiberglass body looks acceptable in the photos from farther away. The car might even fool a few people from a distance. However, the devil is in the details, and the closer you look, the worse this gets. The side intakes are especially rough. The red interior is atrocious. It's essentially the Cougar's cabin but in an eye-searing shade accented with lots of fake carbon fiber. The seller's eBay Motors ad really tries to market the look, though. "You slide in to [sic] this extremely comfortable leather interior and you feel like your bank account just quadrupled in size," the listing says. Don't expect to win any top speed titles in this Veyron replica, either. Rather than a mid-mounted quad-turbo W16, a 3.0-liter V6 from a Mercury Sable sits at the front. Thanks to an upgraded intake and exhaust, the seller claims, "It doesn't sound like your grandmas [sic] Sable." We wish the seller the best of luck, but the asking price of nearly $60,000 is probably too optimistic. We would still think twice about buying it even after taking a zero off that figure, but at least this thing is fun to look at. Related Video: