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2016 April Fools' Day: Morgan digs at Tesla, Mini's scissor doors, more

Every year automakers go out of their way to come up with gags for April Fools' Day. Sometimes the jokes fall flat, but occasionally a company really nails it with an idea that we'd actually love to see. Rather than scouring the Web for all of these stunts, you can find some of our favorites right here. Morgan MOGrod The Morgan Motor Company's MOGrod is one of our favorite April Fools' jokes so far this year because it's a car we wish could be real. The company says on Twitter that the retro hot rod uses a 3.7-liter Ford V6, and there are already 250,000 preorders, which is a play on the huge number of reservations for the Tesla Model 3. Morgan took the joke even further by sketching a landspeed record version for the Bonneville Salt Flats. Mini Scissor Doors The people at Mini apparently have a lot of free time because the company has two gags this year. The first is the scissor door option. The idea cleverly plays on the myriad ways customers can customize their Mini, but this solution doesn't look like anyone could easily enter the car due to the way these doors open. Mini Hipster Hatch There's also the Hipster Mini, which is a much funnier idea. This fictional hatchback would be perfect for fashionable Millennials thanks to features like Instagram-filter windows and a fixed-gear drivetrain, which limits the top speed to 25 miles per hour. The interior uses stonewash denim upholstery and packs a twin-deck cassette player. Skoda Dog Umbrella People love dogs, and owners know that a wet canine can be a mess. Skoda is ready to tackle this problem with an umbrella for your mutt. Made from unobtainium, the gadget hides in the door when not in use, but when raindrops start falling, people can keep their pup dry. Skoda Snowman Skoda's Facebook page also teases us with a very cool vehicle. The Snowman is a 396-horsepower plug-in hybrid snow machine. With its tracks, the company's newest model would never have to worry about getting stuck in the winter. Opel Adam C Sure, electricity and hydrogen are cleaner forms of fuel than gasoline or diesel, but Opel has a way to make your car even more environmentally friendly – muscle power. Wind up the crank at the rear for 15 minutes, and the Opel Adam C is good for 125 miles. GM's European division also claims that owners get a great workout because a full winding session burns 400 calories. You wouldn't feel guilty about picking up that pizza after cranking up this hatchback.

2016 Mazda CX-9 First Drive

Automotive enthusiasts tend to obsess over spec sheets. How else could we know which cars and trucks are the quickest in a straight line, hold the road with the greatest tenacity, or tow the biggest trailers? More succinctly, what ammunition would we have in the seemingly endless back-and-forth of Internet forums if it weren't for specifications? Mazda's engineers think they've found a better way. The 2016 CX-9 has less horsepower than its primary competitors. The only engine available is a turbocharged four-cylinder, hooked to a six-speed automatic. Drivers won't miss the 23 horsepower (or more, as we'll soon explain) lost in the changeover from 2015 to 2016, because Mazda applied its holistic Skyactiv approach to the largest vehicle it offers. That means less weight and, ultimately, more fun. Or so they say. Are they right? Yes. And no. Most of the time, in normal on-road driving conditions, the 2016 CX-9 is the most fun you can have with three rows. But the real-world tradeoff didn't go off completely without a hitch. Reasoning that real-world performance is more important than ultimate horsepower, Mazda specified a four-cylinder for its big, three-row SUV instead of a more traditional V6. Let's get those all-important specifications out of the way: All 2016 Mazda CX-9s are fitted with a 2.5-liter turbocharged four-cylinder with 250 horsepower and, impressively, 310 pound-feet of torque at just 2,000 rpm. Unless you decide to use 87 octane, in which case you'll be limited to 227 horsepower. Mazda doesn't think owners will actually notice the difference in power levels, so there's no Premium Fuel Recommended sticker on the back of the fuel door. Mazda utilized some clever turbo trickery to deliver a diesel-like torque curve from its gasoline-fueled engine, which makes the small-displacement powerplant feel lively at low engine speeds. The flipside is that the CX-9 runs out of breath as the needle swings across the upper reaches of the tach. While that simply wouldn't do for a sportscar like the MX-5, in the CX-9 it's not necessarily a deal breaker. One benefit to the downsized engine is that it doesn't guzzle fuel. The EPA rates the CX-9 at 22 miles per gallon in the city and 28 on the highway. Drop one mpg all around for the all-wheel-drive model. Those figures beat out all the CX-9's most natural competitors, including the Honda Pilot and Toyota Highlander. The turbo-four Ford Explorer matches the 28-mpg highway figure, but loses by three in the city.

2016 Mazda2 won't come to the US

Hoping to get your hands on the new Mazda2? Don't get your hopes up too high, because the latest word has it that the new hatchback won't be available in the United States. According to the report from Automotive News, Mazda's US office has decided against bringing the new Mazda2 to American showrooms. This despite it being made just south of the border in Salamanca, Mexico. The reasons are apparently two-fold. For starters, Mazda sales offices around the world have been clamoring for larger allotments of the new 2, and the company can only supply so many. "We could have had it, but we would have had a number that didn't make much sense with 600 dealers and with the marketing it takes to launch a new car," Robert Davis, Mazda's senior VP of US sales operations, told AN. For another, Mazda is apparently not convinced the new supermini would resonate with US buyers, who are increasingly migrating towards crossovers. So Mazda is focusing instead on "products that make us and our dealers considerably more profit than a Mazda2 does." That doesn't mean the latest Mazda2 will be entirely out of our reach forever, though. The company's agreement with Toyota will see a sedan version sold in the US as the Scion iA. Mazda is also certifying it to US safety and environmental standards so that it can sell the 2 in Puerto Rico, which means that it wouldn't take much to change course and bring the hatchback into the US in the future: "It'll always be there if we need it," Davis told AN. Reached for comment, a spokesman for Mazda's North American operations told Autoblog that "The Mazda2 launch in the U.S. market is on hold in order to evaluate the B-Car segment and enable us the opportunity to focus on the launches of the refreshed Mazda6 and CX-5, and the all-new MX-5 roadster and CX-3 subcompact crossover SUV." That leaves the aforementioned CX-3 - which is, incidentally, based on the same architecture as the Mazda2 - as the smallest mainstream model that Mazda will offer Stateside.