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2016 Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT Night puts on a dark face

We'd love to tell you that the Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT you see above is powered by a hellish 707-horsepower supercharged V8 engine, but we can't. We hope that's coming soon, but in the meantime, we'll all just have to live in a world where an SUV with a 6.4-liter engine sends a mere 475 horsepower and 470 pound-feet of torque to all four wheels. So it goes, right? It's not a Trackhawk, and it's not a Hellcat. This is the Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT Night. That basically means it's just like all other 2016 Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT models, except that any and all brightwork has been replaced with gloss black bits. To complete the dark and mysterious look, all of the car's badging, its front fascia and its unique set of 20-inch wheels are done up in a satin-black finish. The body can be ordered in Velvet Red, Billet Silver and Granite Crystal (dark grey). Inside, as you'd expect, all the chrome has been painted black, and the black leather seats have silver stitching. Sure, we want to see the Hellcat engine dropped inside the Grand Cherokee SRT just as much as you do, but it's hard to complain about a 4.8-second 0-60 time or a top speed of 160 miles per hour. Feel free to read more in the press release below. 2016 Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT Night The new Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT Night features a stealth-like appearance with the roof, rear spoiler, front grille bezels, B and C pillars and side window surrounds all adorned in Gloss Black. The front applique is Satin Black, as is badging on the hood and rear liftgate. New lightweight, split five-spoke "5Ten" 20-inch wheels are also finished in Satin Black and are designed to showcase the Grand Cherokee SRT8's standard Brembo brakes. Interior appointments include Black Laguna leather with Silver accent stitching and Light Black Chrome bezels. Available colors for the Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT Night include Velvet Red, Billet Silver and Granite Crystal. Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT Night features a standard 6.4-liter V-8 engine with Fuel Saver Technology that delivers 475 horsepower and 470 lb.-ft. of torque, an adaptive damping suspension and a Selec-Track Traction Control system. Available features include a dual-pane sunroof, a 19-speaker 825-watt Harman Kardon stereo system, trailer tow package, three-season tires, a full-size spare tire and a dual-screen rear entertainment system.

Vile Gossip: Ladies who launch

Jean Jennings has been writing about cars for more than 30 years, after stints as a taxicab driver and as a mechanic in the Chrysler Proving Grounds Impact Lab. She was a staff writer at Car and Driver magazine, the first executive editor and former president and editor-in-chief of Automobile Magazine, the founder of the blog Jean Knows Cars and former automotive correspondent for Good Morning America. She has lifetime awards from both the Motor Press Guild and the New England Motor Press Association. Look for more Vile Gossip columns in the future. The year was 2006. We were driving a Bugatti Veyron 16.4 across the Florida Panhandle from Jacksonville to Panama City, only because I couldn't convince Bugatti to let me be the first to drive its exotic powerhouse, the world's fastest car at that time, all the way across America. One gleaming example had arrived in time for the Amelia Island Concours d'Elegance, where the journos massed for their quick test drives out the front drive of the Ritz Carlton, down a short stretch of the A1A, and back to the Ritz. Not far enough for me. I wanted to take the Veyron in all of its 16-cylinder, 1,001-horsepower, $1.3-million-dollar glory on a coast-to-coast extravaganza of a road trip. Never hurts to ask. I asked. Once the Bugatti guys stopped hyperventilating, I explained that the coastal adventure would be contained wholly within the state of Florida, from the Atlantic coast to the Gulf of Mexico. My secret destination, however, was to be Vernon, Florida, home of the great Errol Morris' classic documentary about a town in the Panhandle with the highest per-capita population of citizens who'd blown off or whacked off a limb for insurance money. (Google "Nub City.") The Swiss head of Bugatti public relations thought it hilarious. He showed up in a van with a couple of German mechanics to follow us and a failed French Formula 1 driver to serve as my chaperone. I came with a photographer from Germany and one of the most infamous of bad-boy auto magazine tech editors, the irrepressible Don Sherman. Sherman had his own reason for going, and it had nothing to do with a Veyron to Vernon. Once we gave up looking for nubbies, he ordered me to veer south to the handgrip of the Panhandle, familiarly known as the Redneck Riviera. The Don was aiming to secretly execute the Veyron's first Launch Control blastoff in captivity.

Zombie cars roundup: Dodge has sold 3 new Vipers this year

Car models come and go, but as revealed by monthly sales data, once a car is discontinued, it doesn't just disappear instantly. And in the case of some models, vanishing into obscurity can be a slow, tedious process. That's the case with the 12 cars we have here. All of them have been discontinued, but car companies keep racking up "new" sales with them. There are actually more discontinued cars that are still registering new sales than what we decided to include here. We kept this list to the oldest or otherwise most interesting vehicles still being sold as new, including a supercar. We'll run the list in alphabetical order, starting with *drumroll* ... BMW 6 Series: 55 total sales BMW quietly removed the 6 Series from the U.S. market during the 2019 model year. It had been available in three configurations, a hardtop coupe, a convertible and a sleek four-door coupe-like shape.   BMW i8: 18 total sales We've always had a soft spot for the BMW i8, despite the fact that it never quite fit into a particular category. It was sporty, but nowhere near as fast as similarly-priced competitors. It looked very high-tech and boasted a unique carbon fiber chassis design and a plug-in hybrid powertrain, but wasn't really designed for maximum efficiency or maximum performance. Still, the in-betweener was very cool to look at and drive, and 18 buyers took one home over the course of 2021.   Chevy Impala: 750 total sales The Impala represented classic American tastes at a time when American tastes were shifting away from soft-riding sedans with big interior room and trunk space and into higher-riding crossovers. A total of 750 sales were inked last year.   Chrysler 200: 15 total sales The Chrysler 200 was actually a pretty nice sedan, with good looks and decent driving dynamics let down by a lack of roominess, particularly in the back seat. Of course, as we said regarding the Chevy Impala, the number of Americans in the market for sedans is rapidly winding down, and other automakers are following Chrysler's footsteps in canceling their slow-selling four-doors. Even if Chrysler never really found its footing in the ultra-competitive midsize sedan segment, apparently dealerships have a few leftover 2017 200s floating around. And for some reason, 15 buyers decided to sign the dotted line to take one of these aging sedans home last year.