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24 Hours of Le Mans live update part one

We tasked surfing journalist Rory Parker to watch this year's live stream of the 2016 24 Hours of Le Mans. What follows is an experiment to experience the world's greatest endurance race from the perspective of a motorsports novice with a profanity-laden stream-of-consciousness writing style. Parker lives in Hawaii and spends far more time spearfishing than behind the wheel of a car. Jump ahead to Part Two here, and Part Three here. Big Money and billionaire hobbyists and rockets on wheels. Jets belching French color smoke overhead. Balance of power fuckery. Plenty of water on the ground this morning. Absurdly expensive motorcars lined up in the pissing rain. Fast twitch lunatics behind the wheel. Chomping at the bit. Let's go let's go let's go! Race hasn't even started, Ford #67 maybe dealing with clutch issues. Karma? That beautiful bastard Brad Pitt's out on the track, waving the tricolor flag. It's a standing start in "Noah's Ark" weather and the 2016 24 hours of Le Mans is go! First lap takes place behind the safety car, finished in a record setting 8 minutes 27 seconds. Wrong kind of record maybe, but this is the first time I've set my mind to watching the whole damn race. Feel like I'm part of history. 3:00 AM on Kauai, a little too early for life. Sucking down coffee like a maniac. Don't fall back asleep. Got my hands on four hours of rest, how much more can I need? Better be enough for the next twenty four hours. Gonna get kinda punchy toward the end. Jason Statham on the scene. Four feet of solid muscle, non-existent hairline. Lovely wife peanut gallery sitting next to me calls him the "best race car drive in the world." Not sure if she's serious. Toss up, could go either way. Statham's a funny guy. Heir to the Bruce Willis comedy action crown. Really good in the movie where the fat comedy lady plays a spy. Ford's on the road. Problems with gearbox pressure, apparently. Nearing a half hour in and the safety car is still on the track. Hellish amounts of water on the ground, in the air. Visibility is garbage. Getting better. Twitter wags, "Not with a bang but a whimper." Just building suspense. Mother Nature felt like killing some people today, race officials need to dial back the drivers until it dries a tad. Normal inclination would've seen 'em flying, guaranteed early lap wrecks. Sad news for that bloodthirsty part of my lizard brain I try and keep suppressed. Good news for humanity. #12 in the pit for a bit.

Check out the official 2013 Trans Am Hurst Edition commercial

The Poncho is dead. Long live the Poncho. Like certain other reoccurring personal maladies, the aftermarket community simply can't let the Trans Am go without another flare up. The guys at Trans Am Depot have worked up a quick commercial for their newest creation: The 2013 Trans Am Hurst Edition, and it watches pretty much like you'd expect it to. The footage is comprised of just about every TA male fantasy you can conceive of, from Daisy Dukes and white tank tops to tramp stamps, bikinis and ice cream cones. There simply aren't words for what you'll see below.
Of course, we like our T-Tops as much as the next guy. If you like what you see in the videos, you can pick up your very own TA by heading over to the Trans Am Depot site. The guys even have Chevrolet Camaro-based versions of the Pontiac GTO if the '77 TA treatment is too much for your tastes. Enjoy, but don't say we didn't warn you.

CNG Chevy Impala launch delay grows to a year

The 2015 Chevrolet Impala Bi-Fuel was announced in Washington D.C. in late 2013 by Dan Akerson and was supposed to be on sale by the summer of 2014. Capable of running on gasoline and compressed natural gas, the sedan was said to offer a novel solution at a time when gas prices were high. The vehicles still haven't arrived at dealers, though, and according to Automotive News, a quality issue has set back the launch even a few months more. Using a modified 3.6-liter V6 with hardened valves and valve seats, the Bi-Fuel Impala has separate tanks for gasoline and CNG that it can switch between on the fly. When running on the cheaper natural gas, the sedan was estimated to get 19 miles per gallon in the city and offer 150 miles of range, and the total driving distance was predicted at around 500 miles. The base price was set at $38,210, after the $825 destination charge. The only other major tradeoff was a smaller trunk to accommodate the extra fuel. However, the first shipments of the bi-fuel models now aren't expected until mid-July – about a year later than the scheduled launch. A memo to dealers obtained by Automotive News said the sedan "has been delayed by a second quality hold" to look at the CNG system. The exact details surrounding this problem haven't been released. "We have identified a solution to the delay and are working hard to implement it within the next few months," General Motors spokesperson Chad Lyons said to Automotive News. Around 200 Bi-Fuel Impalas have been made, but none are yet in the hands of customers. Dealers should be able to order 2016 model year examples starting in the third quarter of this year.