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24 Hours of Le Mans live update part one

We tasked surfing journalist Rory Parker to watch this year's live stream of the 2016 24 Hours of Le Mans. What follows is an experiment to experience the world's greatest endurance race from the perspective of a motorsports novice with a profanity-laden stream-of-consciousness writing style. Parker lives in Hawaii and spends far more time spearfishing than behind the wheel of a car. Jump ahead to Part Two here, and Part Three here. Big Money and billionaire hobbyists and rockets on wheels. Jets belching French color smoke overhead. Balance of power fuckery. Plenty of water on the ground this morning. Absurdly expensive motorcars lined up in the pissing rain. Fast twitch lunatics behind the wheel. Chomping at the bit. Let's go let's go let's go! Race hasn't even started, Ford #67 maybe dealing with clutch issues. Karma? That beautiful bastard Brad Pitt's out on the track, waving the tricolor flag. It's a standing start in "Noah's Ark" weather and the 2016 24 hours of Le Mans is go! First lap takes place behind the safety car, finished in a record setting 8 minutes 27 seconds. Wrong kind of record maybe, but this is the first time I've set my mind to watching the whole damn race. Feel like I'm part of history. 3:00 AM on Kauai, a little too early for life. Sucking down coffee like a maniac. Don't fall back asleep. Got my hands on four hours of rest, how much more can I need? Better be enough for the next twenty four hours. Gonna get kinda punchy toward the end. Jason Statham on the scene. Four feet of solid muscle, non-existent hairline. Lovely wife peanut gallery sitting next to me calls him the "best race car drive in the world." Not sure if she's serious. Toss up, could go either way. Statham's a funny guy. Heir to the Bruce Willis comedy action crown. Really good in the movie where the fat comedy lady plays a spy. Ford's on the road. Problems with gearbox pressure, apparently. Nearing a half hour in and the safety car is still on the track. Hellish amounts of water on the ground, in the air. Visibility is garbage. Getting better. Twitter wags, "Not with a bang but a whimper." Just building suspense. Mother Nature felt like killing some people today, race officials need to dial back the drivers until it dries a tad. Normal inclination would've seen 'em flying, guaranteed early lap wrecks. Sad news for that bloodthirsty part of my lizard brain I try and keep suppressed. Good news for humanity. #12 in the pit for a bit.

These cars are headed to the Great Crusher In The Sky

It happens every year. We bid adieu to some cars and trucks that will be missed, and say good riddance to others wondering how they stayed around so long. Whether they're being killed off for slow sales or due to a new product coming along to replace them, the list of vehicles being discontinued after 2012 is surprisingly long and diverse.
CNN Money has compiled a list of departing vehicles, to which we've added a few more of our own. In the slow sales column, cars like the Lexus HS 250h, Mercedes-Benz R-Class and the full Maybach lineup appear, while the Ford Escape Hybrid, Mazda CX-7 and Hyundai Veracruz are all having their gaps filled with more modern and more fuel-efficient alternatives. Obvious exceptions to the rule include models that still sell in decent numbers like the Jeep Liberty and the Chrysler Town & Country (which will eventually be replaced by a crossover-like vehicle).
Check out our gallery of discontinued cars above, then scroll down for more information.

Weekly Recap: GM plans massive new paint shop at Chevy Corvette factory

General Motors is laying out some serious green to maintain the Chevy Corvette's expansive color palette. The automaker is breaking ground on a new paint shop this summer that's part of a $439-million investment to upgrade the 34-year-old Bowling Green, KY, factory that builds the Stingray. The massive new structure will total 450,000 square feet, nearly half the size of the current 1-million square-foot facility. Construction is expected to take two years and won't impact Corvette production. The upgrades include new robots that save paint and create a better finish, longer, more efficient ovens to bake in the finish, and LED lighting. There's also a dry scrubbing booth technology with a limestone handling system that eliminates waste. GM has invested $135 million in the factory in last four years for the changeover to build the C7 and to relocate its Performance Build Center to Bowling Green. The improvements continue to modernize the Kentucky factory, which has become a tourist attraction in its own right, as more than 56,000 enthusiasts visited it last year. The upgrades are part of a $5.4-billion investment GM confirmed in April that will remake its US footprint in the next three years. The Bowling Green expansion underscores GM's continued commitment to the Corvette, which sold nearly 38,000 copies around the world last year, an eight-year high. "With this major technology investment, we can continue to exceed the expectations of sports car buyers for years to come," North American manufacturing manager Arvin Jones said in a statement. OTHER NEWS & NOTES Takata recall hits 34 million vehicles The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration expanded the Takata airbag recall to an almost unthinkable 34 million vehicles on Tuesday. The recall is part of an agreement reached by the two sides where Takata admitted some of its airbag inflators have a defect, and the deal compels the company to comply with all future regulatory actions and investigations. Takata's airbag inflators were produced with "a propellant that can degrade over time" and lead to ruptures, NHTSA said. Six deaths have been attributed to the flaw worldwide. Investigations conducted by Takata, automakers, and others have not determined the exact cause of the inflator problem, but NHTSA said moisture appears to alter the propellant's chemical structure. It then ignites too rapidly, creates too much pressure that ruptures the inflator, and blasts shards of metal at passengers.