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24 Hours of Le Mans live update part one

We tasked surfing journalist Rory Parker to watch this year's live stream of the 2016 24 Hours of Le Mans. What follows is an experiment to experience the world's greatest endurance race from the perspective of a motorsports novice with a profanity-laden stream-of-consciousness writing style. Parker lives in Hawaii and spends far more time spearfishing than behind the wheel of a car. Jump ahead to Part Two here, and Part Three here. Big Money and billionaire hobbyists and rockets on wheels. Jets belching French color smoke overhead. Balance of power fuckery. Plenty of water on the ground this morning. Absurdly expensive motorcars lined up in the pissing rain. Fast twitch lunatics behind the wheel. Chomping at the bit. Let's go let's go let's go! Race hasn't even started, Ford #67 maybe dealing with clutch issues. Karma? That beautiful bastard Brad Pitt's out on the track, waving the tricolor flag. It's a standing start in "Noah's Ark" weather and the 2016 24 hours of Le Mans is go! First lap takes place behind the safety car, finished in a record setting 8 minutes 27 seconds. Wrong kind of record maybe, but this is the first time I've set my mind to watching the whole damn race. Feel like I'm part of history. 3:00 AM on Kauai, a little too early for life. Sucking down coffee like a maniac. Don't fall back asleep. Got my hands on four hours of rest, how much more can I need? Better be enough for the next twenty four hours. Gonna get kinda punchy toward the end. Jason Statham on the scene. Four feet of solid muscle, non-existent hairline. Lovely wife peanut gallery sitting next to me calls him the "best race car drive in the world." Not sure if she's serious. Toss up, could go either way. Statham's a funny guy. Heir to the Bruce Willis comedy action crown. Really good in the movie where the fat comedy lady plays a spy. Ford's on the road. Problems with gearbox pressure, apparently. Nearing a half hour in and the safety car is still on the track. Hellish amounts of water on the ground, in the air. Visibility is garbage. Getting better. Twitter wags, "Not with a bang but a whimper." Just building suspense. Mother Nature felt like killing some people today, race officials need to dial back the drivers until it dries a tad. Normal inclination would've seen 'em flying, guaranteed early lap wrecks. Sad news for that bloodthirsty part of my lizard brain I try and keep suppressed. Good news for humanity. #12 in the pit for a bit.

It's time for Corvette to attack Porsche

For most of its existence, Porsche was a smug little sports car company with a fairly limited lineup and small but steady sales. Any time the company strayed from its air-cooled, rear engine formula, the purists would turn their noses. The 944? The 948? "Not a proper Porsche," they'd sniff. And then came the greatest sin of them all: the Cayenne. To the purists, this was treason. Porsche making an SUV? Horrors! Of course, you all know how it turned out. Porsche grew to be a profit-generating juggernaut within the Volkswagen Group. And since one SUV wasn't enough they added another, the Macan. By the end of the decade Porsche will have quadrupled its global sales. You have to wonder what else it has up its sleeve. Couldn't this be a lesson for General Motors? It has a terrific sports car brand in Corvette. In fact, it's arguably the most iconic brand within GM's full-line portfolio. But for its entire existence that brand has been locked up within Chevrolet. Maybe it's time for GM to treat Corvette as a stand-alone company. Maybe it's time for GM to unlock that brand and treat Corvette as a stand-alone company. A Corvette SUV could be a killer first step. Since Porsche only makes two SUVs, maybe Corvette could make three. Small, medium, and large. And just as Porsche has the Panamera, an executive sedan from team Corvette could become an instant "gotta-have" for the yacht-buying jet set. Of course, the Corvette purists will cringe. And the biggest hue and cry will come from Chevrolet's US dealers. That's why the best place to launch the new Corvette brand would be far away from those franchisees: in China. Chinese consumers have no pre-conceived ideas that 'Vettes can only be sold in Chevy stores. And Chinese enthusiasts very much admire Corvette's historic pedigree. You've no doubt read about how Chinese authorities are cracking down on conspicuous consumption. That makes the timing even better. Corvette's selling point has always been that it is an amazing bargain for the performance you get. What a perfect way to undercut Porsche. In fact, pairing the Corvette brand with Cadillac in China could be just the shot in the arm that Cadillac's Chinese dealers need. Despite having very competitive cars, Cadillac lags far behind Audi, Mercedes, and BMW. What Cadillac dealers need is a lot more showroom traffic. And a jaw dropping lineup of Corvette-branded vehicles could bring in throngs of buyers.

2020 Chevrolet Tahoe, Suburban and GMC Yukon all spied with production lights

One of our spy photographers just caught a smattering of full-size GM SUVs out testing, including the Chevrolet Tahoe, Suburban and GMC Yukon. Previous spy photos of the next-generation of these big GM SUVs have revealed that GM is going with an independent rear suspension design, and these shots confirm the news once again with our best look at the hardware yet. Check them out from the rear, lined up like ducks in a row to see the beefy control arms down there. This will undoubtedly give the big SUVs a more compliant ride, and should bring it back into touch with the refinement from the Ford Expedition and Lincoln Navigator. The new bits we get to see with these shots are production headlights and taillights that are shaping up to look pretty neat. Most distinguishable are the GMC Yukon's LED DRLs. These look a lot like the C-shaped LEDs outlining the headlights on the Sierra, but they have an extra LED strip on top of the C. The parts of the taillights that we can see look significantly different than that found on the Sierra, showing GM is planning on having a great deal of differentiation there. We can sort of see through the mesh covering the grille to what appears to be a classic horizontal bar style front opening. Chevy is predictably dialing the crazy LED strip design back for the Tahoe and Suburban. The parts that are lit up look a whole lot like the headlight fixtures on the 2019 Silverado. That truck uses a stack of lights with the actual headlights separated from the DRLs. We can see the same thing going on here, with the headlight up top and curved LED DRL strip sitting below. It's tough to say if the designs are exactly alike, but we expect to see an extremely Silverado-esque look once all the camouflage comes off. Chevrolet's taillight design differs from its donor truck like the GMC, showing off a curved, vertical series of LEDs out back. Once production lights start popping up like this, we know the vehicle is moving closer to its end game. A reveal sometime later this year could be in the cards for GM's next batch of full-size SUVs. It certainly needs them quick, as Ford rockets ahead with increased Expedition production announced earlier this week.