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24 Hours of Le Mans live update part one

We tasked surfing journalist Rory Parker to watch this year's live stream of the 2016 24 Hours of Le Mans. What follows is an experiment to experience the world's greatest endurance race from the perspective of a motorsports novice with a profanity-laden stream-of-consciousness writing style. Parker lives in Hawaii and spends far more time spearfishing than behind the wheel of a car. Jump ahead to Part Two here, and Part Three here. Big Money and billionaire hobbyists and rockets on wheels. Jets belching French color smoke overhead. Balance of power fuckery. Plenty of water on the ground this morning. Absurdly expensive motorcars lined up in the pissing rain. Fast twitch lunatics behind the wheel. Chomping at the bit. Let's go let's go let's go! Race hasn't even started, Ford #67 maybe dealing with clutch issues. Karma? That beautiful bastard Brad Pitt's out on the track, waving the tricolor flag. It's a standing start in "Noah's Ark" weather and the 2016 24 hours of Le Mans is go! First lap takes place behind the safety car, finished in a record setting 8 minutes 27 seconds. Wrong kind of record maybe, but this is the first time I've set my mind to watching the whole damn race. Feel like I'm part of history. 3:00 AM on Kauai, a little too early for life. Sucking down coffee like a maniac. Don't fall back asleep. Got my hands on four hours of rest, how much more can I need? Better be enough for the next twenty four hours. Gonna get kinda punchy toward the end. Jason Statham on the scene. Four feet of solid muscle, non-existent hairline. Lovely wife peanut gallery sitting next to me calls him the "best race car drive in the world." Not sure if she's serious. Toss up, could go either way. Statham's a funny guy. Heir to the Bruce Willis comedy action crown. Really good in the movie where the fat comedy lady plays a spy. Ford's on the road. Problems with gearbox pressure, apparently. Nearing a half hour in and the safety car is still on the track. Hellish amounts of water on the ground, in the air. Visibility is garbage. Getting better. Twitter wags, "Not with a bang but a whimper." Just building suspense. Mother Nature felt like killing some people today, race officials need to dial back the drivers until it dries a tad. Normal inclination would've seen 'em flying, guaranteed early lap wrecks. Sad news for that bloodthirsty part of my lizard brain I try and keep suppressed. Good news for humanity. #12 in the pit for a bit.

Chevy, Lincoln dealers say they still want sedans

Detroit automakers have famously turned their backs on sedans as they make the strategic bet to double down on money-making trucks and SUVs, but dealers for at least two American brands are giving the companies contrary signals. In separate recent interviews with leading national dealer councils for Chevrolet and Lincoln, Automotive News reports that both brands’ dealers still see a need for cars. The publication published a Q&A interview with Mike Bowsher, chairman of the Chevrolet National Dealer Council, who said Chevy dealers managed to hold onto market share last year despite the phase-out of the Cruze compact sedan and hatchback, thanks to products like the Spark and Sonic subcompacts and the Trax and Equinox crossovers. But, he acknowledged, “We do feel like we could use a car, especially in the low-MSRP range.” The comments follow similar recent comments from Tom Lynch, who chairs the Lincoln National Dealer Council. He told AN, “If weÂ’re not in segments where there is still a good amount of business, I think the company and the dealers lose out.” The Cruze was one of the victims of GMÂ’s November 2018 announcement of plant closures, with production having ceased with the closure of GMÂ’s Lordstown, Ohio assembly plant last year. GM sold 47,975 Cruzes in 2019 but a healthy 142,617 in 2018. At Lincoln, Lynch said the council has been telling the company it needs to stick with the sedan segment, despite plans to kill the MKZ sedan in the coming months and unconfirmed reports that the Continental isnÂ’t long for this world, either, despite the buzz of the suicide-door Coach Door Edition, shown in the photo above. Lincoln sold 17,725 MKZs and 6,586 Continental sedans in 2019, down a combined 15%, but still good for almost 22% of overall Lincoln sales. It's worth noting that Lincoln competes in a luxury segment that still expresses allegiance to four- and two-door cars. Even Cadillac, its cross-town rival, is staying active with the upcoming CT5 and CT4 sedans. Lynch pointed to Tesla as evidence that strong sedan products can resonate with consumers, though he conceded that “What that looks like for Lincoln going forward, IÂ’m not sure of.” For now, anyway, Chevy still offers the Sonic and Spark subcompacts, the latter of which saw sales climb 32.5% in 2019 to 31,281 (Sonic sales fell nearly as steeply).

It's time for Corvette to attack Porsche

For most of its existence, Porsche was a smug little sports car company with a fairly limited lineup and small but steady sales. Any time the company strayed from its air-cooled, rear engine formula, the purists would turn their noses. The 944? The 948? "Not a proper Porsche," they'd sniff. And then came the greatest sin of them all: the Cayenne. To the purists, this was treason. Porsche making an SUV? Horrors! Of course, you all know how it turned out. Porsche grew to be a profit-generating juggernaut within the Volkswagen Group. And since one SUV wasn't enough they added another, the Macan. By the end of the decade Porsche will have quadrupled its global sales. You have to wonder what else it has up its sleeve. Couldn't this be a lesson for General Motors? It has a terrific sports car brand in Corvette. In fact, it's arguably the most iconic brand within GM's full-line portfolio. But for its entire existence that brand has been locked up within Chevrolet. Maybe it's time for GM to treat Corvette as a stand-alone company. Maybe it's time for GM to unlock that brand and treat Corvette as a stand-alone company. A Corvette SUV could be a killer first step. Since Porsche only makes two SUVs, maybe Corvette could make three. Small, medium, and large. And just as Porsche has the Panamera, an executive sedan from team Corvette could become an instant "gotta-have" for the yacht-buying jet set. Of course, the Corvette purists will cringe. And the biggest hue and cry will come from Chevrolet's US dealers. That's why the best place to launch the new Corvette brand would be far away from those franchisees: in China. Chinese consumers have no pre-conceived ideas that 'Vettes can only be sold in Chevy stores. And Chinese enthusiasts very much admire Corvette's historic pedigree. You've no doubt read about how Chinese authorities are cracking down on conspicuous consumption. That makes the timing even better. Corvette's selling point has always been that it is an amazing bargain for the performance you get. What a perfect way to undercut Porsche. In fact, pairing the Corvette brand with Cadillac in China could be just the shot in the arm that Cadillac's Chinese dealers need. Despite having very competitive cars, Cadillac lags far behind Audi, Mercedes, and BMW. What Cadillac dealers need is a lot more showroom traffic. And a jaw dropping lineup of Corvette-branded vehicles could bring in throngs of buyers.