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2016 Cadillac CTS-V First Drive [w/video]

A million insects lost their lives today. Boxelder bugs and mayflies making the ultimate sacrifice in Elkhart Lake, their carapaces no buffer against a rocketing rectangle of safety glass. Their bodies gorily streaking into spangles along the diamond-faceted face of the Cadillac CTS-V. Road America is a four-mile ribbon of pavement snaking its way through the emerald center of the country's northern heartland. Since the 1950s it's seen uncountable fields of diverse racing machinery rocket over its hills and around its 14 corners. I would imagine that on those occasions the tramping of onlookers and hubbub of vehicles, both competitive and commonplace, would dissuade a great number of our six-legged friends from making their way onto the track. But today it's just me turning laps. Inconceivably just one journalist, driving the baddest roadgoing Cadillac ever made, on one of the loveliest circuits America has ever carved out. So big-winged bugs made it out to me in a vast array and a tragic sum, and I drilled through them oblivious to anything but one of the greatest days of driving I've ever had. Cadillac has turned its CTS-V from a performance sedan to a monster. For 2016 Cadillac has turned its CTS-V from a performance sedan to a monster worthy of the carnage described above. The words "epic" and "awesome" are hilariously overused on the Internet, but in the case of the CTS-V's 6.2-liter supercharged V8, their literal meanings are fitting. The capacity to produce 640 horsepower and 630 pound-feet of torque is astounding. Feeling those outputs come to growling life under my foot arch, uncorks different reactions in my brain as the day wears on: first trepidation, next cautious optimism, finally red-eyed bloodlust. A glance at the power and torque curves will show you that the charged V8 behaves more like a naturally aspirated thing than a turbo'd on/off switch. Peak torque arrives at 3,600 rpm, horsepower at 6,400, giving the engine lovely, linear power delivery. Even with top torque happening near the middle of the tach, there's no small amount of the stuff when the engine first spins up, so launching all 4,145 pounds of Detroit iron still feels exotic. Launching all 4,145 pounds of Detroit iron still feels exotic. On the roads around Wisconsin, using all of the available power is hardly advisable, but I have no trouble driving this fast car slowly (sort of).

Watch Brad Pitt's Chinese Cadillac XTS commercial

Once upon a time, in a land not so far from this one, Brad Pitt was the very face anti-consumerism. You see, when he slipped into the role of the elitist-loathing, food-abusing, violence-embracing Tyler Durden from Fight Club, his visage was inextricably married to images of leveling credit card corporations with nothing more than a little human fat and some determination. Of course, that was before Pitt settled into old age with a passel of children at his feet. Now, it seems, he'll shill for something as long as it doesn't damage his reputation in America.
Need proof? Look no further than this Chinese ad for the Cadillac XTS. In it, Pitt contentedly wafts the big front-wheel drive barge around San Francisco against a mildly euphoric soundtrack. You can check out the scene for yourself below, just make sure you have your last meal squarely situated in your stomach before pressing play. We have to wonder if Pitt wakes up in the middle of the night with Chuck Palahniuk's oddly omniscient words echoing in his ears: "Then you're trapped in your lovely nest, and the things you used to own, now they own you."

GM threatens predatory dealers with order cancellations, non-transferrable warranties

General Motors will launch a second salvo against misbehaving dealerships next week with a new set of policies aimed at curbing predatory markup strategies. With the new Chevrolet Corvette Z06, GMC Hummer EV SUV and Cadillac Escalade-V about to head into production, GM is putting its foot down yet again. Dealers that attempt to circumvent GM's markup restrictions by dealing directly with brokers or other resellers could find themselves in a particularly nasty spot, as the company is threatening to withhold future allocations and end the transferability of warranties when dealers facilitate the reselling of vehicles within 12 months.  While this may help curb some dealership chicanery, it's possible the real loser in such a deal could end up being the customer who unwittingly ends up with an un-warrantied vehicle. We suspect GM has accounted for that, but we'll have to wait until next week to find out exactly how these new policies will be enforced.