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Junkyard Gem: 1988 Buick LeSabre Custom Sedan

The General's Buick Division began selling LeSabres for the 1959 model year, when it greeted the world with a cat-eyed face and razor-sharp tailfins, and the LeSabre rolled on the full-sized, rear-wheel-drive B Platform (best-known for underpinning the Chevrolet Impala and Caprice) all the way through 1985. For 1986, the LeSabre went to the front-wheel-drive H Platform, shedding a few hundred pounds and a half-foot of wheelbase, yet gaining interior room in the process. After that, every LeSabre ever made had a V6 engine driving the front wheels, all the way to the end in 2005. Here's one of those early H-Body LeSabres, found in a Denver-area self-service yard in incredibly clean condition. Some Buicks and Oldsmobiles of the mid-to-late 1980s (the ones on brand-new platforms) had six-digit odometers, which is the reason I was able to see that a discarded '86 Olds Calais with crazy customizing touches had better than 360,000 miles on the clock. This car just barely squeezed past 100,000 miles … and that's a higher number than I expected to see after glancing at the body and interior. Just look at that upholstery! There are no rips, and the only stains appear to have occurred after arrival in the junkyard ecosystem. I think we're looking at a one-owner car that was given meticulous care and was driven only to (a nearby) church on Sundays. Though the HRC sticker and Autobot badge seem out of place on an original-owner Buick that rolled out of the showroom 34 years ago. Perhaps the car was handed down from Owner #1 to a grandchild. This is the most high-zoot radio Buick would sell you in a 1988 LeSabre, complete with Dolby, auto-reverse cassette player, and scan/seek modes on the radio. The price tag on this? 282 bucks, or about 720 inflation-shrunk frogskins today; not cheap, but necessary to do justice to the hit songs of the day. If you wanted a factory CD player in a new LeSabre, you had to wait another year or two. Pollard Brothers Motors is still around, on the other side of the Continental Divide from the Denver region. Power came from an EFI-equipped Buick 3.8-liter V6, rated at 150 horsepower. The only transmission available was a four-speed automatic. Except for some dents that almost certainly happened at the junkyard, the paint and body look gorgeous. Problem is, H-Body LeSabres don't have an enthusiast following, and car shoppers looking for daily drivers tend to shy away from sedans this old.

2014 Buick LaCrosse

A Nice, New Buick Aims For Middle Of The Road
Any time someone describes some portion of a car or a driving experience as being "nice," I want to either A) throttle them or B) run as fast and as far as I can from that vehicle. "Nice" is among the most insidious words in the English language - at best it's vague, and at worst, it conveys the exact opposite of its literal meaning. Yet it seems to be used with damnable frequency when it comes to verbally illustrating vehicles. "It looks really nice," or "These seats feel nice," or, heaven forefend, "It's got a nice ride," are all windy signifiers of absolutely nothing resembling a concrete opinion. "Nice" is the adjectival equivalent of meekly smiling and nodding your head.
Of course, I'm as guilty as the next person of having thrown English's least powerful descriptor around. There's even a chance that, rant aside, you'll catch me making nice in reviews to come. That's fine, but you should know that when you stumble upon such usage, past or future, that you've found a sentence in which I'm simply applying a bare minimum of effort to the task.

Junkyard Gem: Heavily personalized 1997 Buick Skylark Custom Sedan

Normally I wouldn't be much interested in a third-generation GM N-Body (a family that includes the Chevy Malibu and Olds Achieva) spotted in the junkyard, though a case could be made for such a vehicle's historical significance. This '97 Skylark, however, arrived in a Northern California self-service wrecking yard well-plastered with stickers, reflectors, and other personalizing touches, making it an interesting document of its time and place. It appears that both of the original white fenders got mashed and then replaced with blue ones, almost certainly obtained cheaply at a yard like this one. If you're not going to paint your new fenders to match the car, then you're already well down the slippery slope to making the car a giant mobile canvas to display your interests. A 20-year-old GM N-Body, regardless of how nice it was when new, isn't worth much, and you could stretch a line of these cars from Lansing to Lahore with all the used-up Ns sitting in American wrecking-yard inventory right now. Perhaps it was the grandchild of the car's original owner who indulged in White Widow cannabis and listened to Siouxsie & the Banshees. The odds against finding the original window sticker in a car like this are mighty long, but here it is. Sold new at Putnam Buick in Burlingame. It appears that this car spent most of its final decade in or near Mill Valley. Mill Valley is a mere 30 miles from Burlingame, or about three hours of Buick driving (you have to go past SFO, through San Francisco, and across the Golden Gate Bridge, a journey featuring apocalyptically terrible traffic at just about any time). Drive east across the Richmond-San Rafael Bridge and you'll get to this Skylark's final parking space, about 20 miles from Mill Valley. This car lived its whole life near the shores of San Francisco Bay, and it will die there. Feathers and a political-party charm adorn the headliner. This car's final owner had a practical side, as we can see from the many reflectors and lengths of safety tape. Just the thing for avoiding a T-bone wreck in the dead of night! "Essentially, Skylark embodies all of the features customers expect from a Buick, in a smaller package, with a very attractive MSRP."