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The troubled Alfa Romeo Giulia needs serious help [UPDATE]

UPDATE: An Alfa Romeo US spokesman responded to this article with the following statement: The safety concerns expressed in the story are false. The all-new 2017 Alfa Romeo Giulia is designed and engineered to meet or exceed all federal safety regulations. The Alfa Romeo Giulia will begin production for the North American market in the late second-quarter of this year. Alfa Romeo will have a full product portfolio of premium vehicles that includes plans for (8) all-new Alfa Romeo vehicles by 2020. The product launches are prioritized by segment volumes starting this year with the Alfa Romeo Giulia production for North America starting in late Q2, followed by the Midsize-UV – the 2nd largest premium segment in North America. Even on the day you dragged them kicking and screaming and gesticulating wildly to a table full of concrete evidence, Alfa Romeo executives will never admit the Giulia program is going through a tough patch. But it is. Reports say the Giulia, on the eve of production, didn't just fail one internal crash test, but failed the front, side and rear impact tests. Alfa denies it. Automotive News published a report last week saying two suppliers had insisted the Giulia, on the eve of production, didn't just fail one internal crash test, but failed the front-, side-, and rear-impact tests. A third supplier source told us the same thing. Alfa is denying it. It was due on sale in Europe late last year and was supposed to be here in the next month or two. But it wasn't, and it won't. It was to be headlined by a twin-turbo V6 that reportedly howled its way around the Nurburgring 14 seconds faster than the BMW M3 could manage. That second part is only true if you believe it's fair to compare a full lap in a standard BMW M3 with a favorable accumulation of sector times to a development prototype Giulia with 220 pounds stripped out of it and rolling on hand-cut racing slicks. No, me neither. A Promising Start The Giulia's all-new architecture was developed in just two years by a skunkworks of young engineers headed by Fiat's engineering prince, Philippe Krief, and (bafflingly) sited inside Maserati's headquarters complex in Modena, about three hours from Alfa Romeo's own Turin HQ.

Watch Emily Blunt and John Krasinski prank Jimmy Kimmel's SUV

Jimmy Kimmel has a bit of a rivalry going with Emily Blunt and John Krasinski. Not like the "I'm on television, you're on the radio" one he has with his former Man Show co-host Adam Carolla (who of course has more to do with cars than the last name he almost shares with a Toyota economy sedan). With Blunt and Krasinski, it's more of a prank rivalry. The Hollywood couple, you see, live across the street from Kimmel, and they're all good friends. But come the holiday season, things get a little competitive. One year they broke into Jimmy's house and left an illuminated snowman and some sort of santa bear in his foyer. Jimmy retaliated, the Krasinskis escalated, and up and up things went until Jimmy had their entire house wrapped like a gift. John and Emily weren't going to leave it at that, though, and took things in a decidedly more automotive direction. They gift-wrapped the host's BMW X5 and filled it with balls. But they didn't stop there. You'll want to watch the footage above to see how things ended, just take note of the roll cage visible as Krasinski-Clause stumbles out of the car in that last scene and remember that, while we couldn't say no vehicles were actually harmed in the making of this segment, at least it doesn't appear to have actually been Kimmel's.

2015 BMW M3 Sedan

BMW's all-new M3 Sedan is dynamically nearly identical to its two-door M4 Coupe sibling: a stopwatch reveals that both are sub-four-second cars to 60 miles per hour, a racetrack proves that the mechanical twins are equally as adept on a road course and a full afternoon of driving on public roads demonstrates that each possesses talented everyday adaptability.
Yet after driving both BMW models back-to-back over two full days in Portugal, it's clear there are a few noticeable differences, both objective and subjective, that don't require instrument testing to reveal. All it takes is a few hours behind the wheel of both cars to conclude that one is slightly more agile, and the other a bit more twitchy. One has better outward visibility, while its counterpart is unquestionably more convenient.
It is the little things - subtleties attained through seat-of-the-pants observations - that eventually allow me to choose a favorite.