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Bentley Continental GT 'Ultratank' makes tracks in Russia. Literally

When the automotive news cycle last turned its attention to Russia, it was to celebrate the maniacs who'd linked three cheap four-cylinder engines to create a 12-cylinder Lada. Our newest visit to the motherland is for the diametric opposite: a first-generation Bentley Continental GT placed on a custom set of heavy duty tracks. Created by Russian YouTube channel AcademeG, the navy blue mutant is called the Ultratank, and its waiting for its close-up in the Akira sequel. Chronicling the build began last August, sometime after AcademeG's presenter bought the cheapest Continental GT he could find. Seems that kind of purchase is a cautionary tale in Russia as much as it is here, because the Bentley's 6.0-liter, twin-turbo W12 needed a list of expensive repairs, starting with new turbos. It appears that was the cue to throw out the whole engine, drivetrain, and frame. AcademeG took the coupe to Swap-Point, who replaced the stock motor with Toyota's Japanese-market 4.3-liter V8 used in the Toyota Crown Majesta, Celsior, and Soarer and Lexus GS, LS, and SC 430. The engine sends power to a solid rear axle only through a torque converter automatic. From there, the twist is transferred to a set of heavy vehicle tracks measuring 98.4 inches long. The Bentley's passenger tub and upper portions mostly survived the transformation, but tube-frame construction replaced the stock architecture front and rear. Nine months later, the Ultratank has taken its first steps. The Russians took their baby into the woods to play, and - watched by some goats and shepherds - proved they got it mostly right in spite of a few issues. Running on treads is often done best in low revs, but the engine doesn't like low revs. There wasn't enough tension on the tracks, and the rubber nubs aligning the tracks with the wheels aren't substantial enough, so the tracks rolled off the wheels during hard cornering. And there are no brakes. Slowing down requires sawing at the wheel, which brakes the inside tread as the Ultratank starts to turn. Even so, the vehicle and the test were declared a success. The team will tune the engine, add doors and tweak the tracks, but according to YouTube's Russian translation, "everything is simply ideal." You can check out the entire build while awaiting updates on the next big changes, including a higher top speed: The Ultratank tops out at 31 miles per hour now, and AcademeG wants to double that.

The myth and mystery of The Bentley Cocktail

The other day, we were trying to find ways to delight a visiting relative who requested a cocktail made with apple brandy (don't ask), and after poring through Mr. Boston and The Playboy Bartender's Guide we were fortunate enough to come across a recipe. This particular concoction piqued our interest not just because it was a means to get rid of that bottle of Calvados that had been malingering on our bar cart, drawing fruit flies and quizzical scorn, since it was gifted to us at the launch of the Peugeot 407 in 2004. It was because of the automotive connection. (Duh.) The cocktail is called The Bentley, and it has a sexy, if probably apocryphal, origin story. According to the legend, the Bentley Boys – rich, Jazz Age, car-loving, British playboy racers – invented the drink after their first of five Le Mans victories, in 1924. Canadian-born WWI hero and Olympic swordsman John Duff and local English Bentley test driver and Bentley 3-Liter Super Sport owner Frank Clement were the only British team and vehicle in this second-ever endurance race, surrounded by more than three dozen French drivers and cars (and a couple of Germans). But despite typical British maladies ­– broken shocks, seized lug nuts, and a dysfunctional gearshift – and a slew of fires, punctures, and chassis-snapping wrecks amongst the field, they persevered. Arriving at their celebratory party at their club near their adjoining apartments in London's exclusive Mayfair neighborhood, they discovered that all of the alcohol had been consumed, with the exception of Calvados and Dubonnet. Mixing these together in equal parts, and adding some bitters, they allegedly invented a drink to settle their affluent nerves. Like most folkloric explanations for the existence of some gross cocktails – the wisecrack-inspired Tom Collins, the whole-cloth-concocted Seelbach – the tale seemed as compelling to us as it was ridiculous. Fortunately, among our friends are many with mastery in mixology, so we decided to put the mystery (and recipe) to them. "To be honest, I'd never even heard of the cocktail," said Tokyo-based international beverage expert Nick Coldicott, the most skeptical of our potation pundits. "And that story smells fishy to me. It seems unlikely that a party venue would have enough of a booze collection to have Calvados and Dubonnet, but not enough whisky or gin or champagne to see the party out.

Behold my hideous Bentley!

Do you all just love my hideous Bentley? It's so insane and tacky. I'm sure if I were to actually order this a British lord somewhere would dispatch his valet to slap me.  Who knows where I'll figuratively be in two weeks' time, but today turns out to be the day I turned to see just how tacky certain car configurators will let you get. Admittedly, they're almost all high-dollar, extra-low-volume cars. If you try to play around on a Honda configurator, you'll have wrapped things up in about 30 seconds.  But Bentley, now that's a company that'll let you get tacky on its configurator. I chose the new Continental GT Convertible because the lowered roof would make it easy to demonstrate in pictures the level of my tackiness. From there, it was this eye-searing Apple Green, though I was certainly tempted by Azure Purple and Magenta. Roof choice? I was expecting there to be more, nevertheless, Claret red seemed like a suitably awful pairing.  Inside, well, let's crack those knuckles and get to work. Luckily, Bentley lets you choose two different leather colors: Main and Secondary "hides" with five choices of how to split those colors. Sorry, colours. I chose Colour Split B cause it seemed to have the most of each colour. For the Main Hide, I went with Hotspur, an extremely red shade of red that would be home in an early 2000s BMW. Cumbrian Green and Damson purple were tempting, but they just weren't bright enough, and I thought they wouldn't pair poorly enough with the Secondary Hide: Newmarket Tan, which is pretty damn orange. You can't see it, but the interior of the roof is Blue. For the veneer, I went with Tamo Ash, 'cause yuck. Finally, throw on some black wheels, and voila, my tacky Bentley. I must say, this is most definitely tackier than the real Bentley Flying Spur I once tested that looked like South Beach threw up inside. So much white and teal. Oh, and that ash wood. A Bentley rep told me they ordered it by mistake.  Now, Bentley isn't the only high-dollar outfit that lets you indulge in such tacky fantasies. Most other British brands do, including Mini, and the Germans offer plenty of color choices as well, usually through some special custom program like Audi Exclusive. Porsche makes it especially easy, though, which you can see in my other craptacular creation below.