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Behold my hideous Bentley!

Do you all just love my hideous Bentley? It's so insane and tacky. I'm sure if I were to actually order this a British lord somewhere would dispatch his valet to slap me.  Who knows where I'll figuratively be in two weeks' time, but today turns out to be the day I turned to see just how tacky certain car configurators will let you get. Admittedly, they're almost all high-dollar, extra-low-volume cars. If you try to play around on a Honda configurator, you'll have wrapped things up in about 30 seconds.  But Bentley, now that's a company that'll let you get tacky on its configurator. I chose the new Continental GT Convertible because the lowered roof would make it easy to demonstrate in pictures the level of my tackiness. From there, it was this eye-searing Apple Green, though I was certainly tempted by Azure Purple and Magenta. Roof choice? I was expecting there to be more, nevertheless, Claret red seemed like a suitably awful pairing.  Inside, well, let's crack those knuckles and get to work. Luckily, Bentley lets you choose two different leather colors: Main and Secondary "hides" with five choices of how to split those colors. Sorry, colours. I chose Colour Split B cause it seemed to have the most of each colour. For the Main Hide, I went with Hotspur, an extremely red shade of red that would be home in an early 2000s BMW. Cumbrian Green and Damson purple were tempting, but they just weren't bright enough, and I thought they wouldn't pair poorly enough with the Secondary Hide: Newmarket Tan, which is pretty damn orange. You can't see it, but the interior of the roof is Blue. For the veneer, I went with Tamo Ash, 'cause yuck. Finally, throw on some black wheels, and voila, my tacky Bentley. I must say, this is most definitely tackier than the real Bentley Flying Spur I once tested that looked like South Beach threw up inside. So much white and teal. Oh, and that ash wood. A Bentley rep told me they ordered it by mistake.  Now, Bentley isn't the only high-dollar outfit that lets you indulge in such tacky fantasies. Most other British brands do, including Mini, and the Germans offer plenty of color choices as well, usually through some special custom program like Audi Exclusive. Porsche makes it especially easy, though, which you can see in my other craptacular creation below.

2020 Bentley Flying Spur First Drive Review | Take off your shoes and stay awhile

MONTE CARLO, Monaco — The all-new Bentley Flying Spur solves one of the principal dilemmas I faced in the principality of Monaco. Despite the tiny tax havenÂ’s prime location on the Mediterranean, and its reputation as a desirable seasonal seaside resort, the prim government there purportedly outlaws the practice of wandering around town topless, or bottomless. However, chauffeur-driven and ensconced in the right rear throne of the flying-B brandÂ’s second-best four-door sedan, with the power-operated privacy screens covering the gun-slit back windows, the seat coolers set to chill, and the front passenger seat pushed forward for maximum reclinage, I was able to abide my favorite Bentley motto: shades up, pants down. (Remind me never to drive with Berk on a press launch. -Ed) This is just one of the many seemingly unforeseen problems that this Bentley's latest and most-wonderful Flying Spur remedies in Monte Carlo (and, probably, elsewhere.) Other examples? Do you need to demonstrate to everyone that you are extremely rich, but prefer to do so in a way that does not involve revving your matte cloud-cover Lamborghini Aventador for the clots of cruise-ship-engorged, selfie-stick tourists bunging up Casino Square? Do you prefer to experience the golden seaside sunlight through the filter of a pair of sunroofs rather than through the searing defenselessness granted by the retracted roof of Bentley's Continental GT? When pulling away from toll stops, do you enjoy utilizing launch control, putting 626 hp and 664 lb-ft to the ground and freaking out surrounding BMW douchery with consistent 3.7-second blasts from 0-60? Again, the Flying Spur being a sedan, all of this can be accomplished from the back seat, where newly expanded legroom, newly ubiquitous knurling, and newly introduced quilted leather — part of the optional $15,000 Mulliner spec — can cosset your every body part. Well, maybe not your feet, but the carpets are quite good for going shoeless. (Geez, he took his shoes off, too? -Ed). Of course, if youÂ’d rather drive than be driven in the third-generation Spur, you can also accomplish all of this from the front seat too. It is hard to say which is preferable, but I typically lean toward taking the wheel. And this position has many merits.

Ultra-luxury automakers like Bentley and Rolls-Royce need to hurry up with EVs

In the five years that I've worked at Autoblog, I've read a lot of press releases. They're all pretty flowery and self-serving, but the ones that go the extra distance with lavish words and pompous phrasing tend to come from the most luxurious brands, Bentley and Rolls-Royce. And something that they both love talking about is sustainably sourced materials for their vehicles. The descriptions read like they've seen the light about using resources responsibly. That would be great, except for one thing: There's nothing sustainable about multi-ton land yachts with eight or more cylinders. Only one of Bentley's models can be had with fuel economy better than 20 mpg combined when running on gasoline, and guess what, it's not one of the brand's two plug-in hybrids (which are to be commended, but still seem half-hearted when we're talking serious sustainability). And Rolls-Royce is even worse without a single model even hitting 15 mpg combined. These automakers should have at least one EV model apiece. Apparently, there are some coming, but they're still years away, and that frankly shocks and frustrates me for a number of reasons. One of the big ones is that these brands couldn't be better suited to electric propulsion. What makes these cars impressive is their refinement and performance. You can't get much better in either of those categories than with beefy electric motors, which provide nearly silent operation with no gear changes and enormous power and torque ratings. And it's all achievable with a lot less effort than making an 8- or 12-cylinder internal combustion engine quiet and smooth. Sure, battery technology is complicated, and it's expensive and heavy, but all of that is covered by these brand's typical products. They can command prices that would easily absorb the cost of batteries. And the size and weight of current cars mean that loading them up with batteries to achieve range comparable to their gas models wouldn't be a problem, either. Heck, that's the exact strategy being used by GM and Ford to get huge range in their electric trucks. 2020 Porsche Taycan Turbo S View 41 Photos And the cost of the EV technology shouldn't even be that great for Bentley or Rolls-Royce, since they're both owned by companies that are leaders in electric car development with existing technology and the ability to spread costs out over various brands.