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24 Hours of Le Mans live update part two

We tasked surfing journalist Rory Parker to watch this year's live stream of the 2016 24 Hours of Le Mans. What follows is an experiment to experience the world's greatest endurance race from the perspective of a motorsports novice. Parker lives in Hawaii and can hold his breath longer than he can go without swearing. For Part One, click here. Or you can skip ahead to Part Three here. I write about surfing for a living. If you can call it a living. Basically means I spend my days fucking around and my wife pays for everything. Because she's got a real job that pays well. Brings home the bacon. Very progressive arrangement. Super twenty first century. I run a surf website, beachgrit.com, with two other guys. It's a strange gig. More or less uncensored. Kind of popular. Very good at alienating advertisers. My behavior has cost us a few bucks. I'm terrible at self-censorship. Know there's a line out there, no idea where it lies. I still don't understand any of the technical side. Might as well be astrophysics or something. For contests I do long rambling write ups. They rarely make much sense. Mainly just talk about my life, whatever random thoughts pop into my head. "Can you do something similar for Le Mans?" "Sure, but I know absolutely fuck-all about racing." "That's okay. Just write what you want." "Will do. But you're gonna need to edit my stuff. Probably censor it heavily." So here I am. I spent the last week trying to learn all I can about the sport of endurance racing. But there's only so much you can jam in your head. And I still don't understand any of the technical side. Might as well be astrophysics or something. While I rambled things were happening. Tracy Krohn spun into the gravel on the Forza chicane. #89 is out of the race after an accident I missed. Pegasus racing hit the wall on the Porsche curves. Bashed up front end, in the garage getting fixed. Toyota and Porsche are swapping back and forth in the front three. Ford back in the lead in GTE Pro. #91 Porsche took a stone through the radiator, down two laps. Not good. The wife and I are one of those weird childless couples that spend way too much time caring for the needs of their pet. French bulldog, Mr Eugene Victor Debs. Great little guy. Spent the last four years training him to be obedient and friendly. Nice thing about dogs, when you're sick of dealing with them you can just lock 'em in another room for a few hours. You don't need to worry about paying for college.

New Audi Sport Quattro Laserlight geeks out with mad lumens

It's safe to say that, at least as far as automotive companies go, Audi's Sport Quattro Laserlight concept car is stealing the show here at CES in Las Vegas. The car's 700-horsepower hybrid powertrain and carbon-fiber bodywork mean that it would go like stink if it were ever allowed to turn a wheel, and the shapely coupe stance looks every inch the part of a modern-day super coupe, too. Better yet, the laser-powered headlamps that are the crowning glory of the concept car are actually slated for production at some point in the not-distant future.
We're talking about lasers here, folks. I don't know about you, but if you had told the 10-year-old, Real Genius-watching version of me that there'd one day be a car with lasers for headlights, well, I'd have wanted one of those things, pretty bad.
Anyway, Audi's lasers may not be able to ignite a giant pack of Jiffy Pop from space, but they are set to be the new standard for illumination on the road. The laser lights are nearly three times as bright and beam twice as far as current, top-notch LED high beams and were called "safer, sharper and more efficient" compared with existing technologies. That "safer" part works on two levels: the brighter beams offer far better visibility, naturally, but Audi also tells us that they won't dazzle oncoming drivers like traditional high beams will. That means you can drive with the maximum illumination at all times. Cool stuff, here at CES.

Latest Forza Motorsport 5 car pack leaves us scratching our head (in a good way) [w/video]

As we scrolled down the roster of the latest car pack for Forza Motorsport 5, the Hot Wheels Car Pack, our expression became bemused over the strange mix of vehicles that we now have at our disposal. This is quite unlike any of the other sets of DLC Turn 10 Studios has offered. Sure, there are the typical headliner cars – the Lamborghini Veneno and 2015 Audi S3 – that will appeal to the mainstream racing fan or auto enthusiast. But this latest car pack is so jammed full of nuggets of automotive weirdness that it's hard not to get excited. The Hot Wheels pack has no shortage of racers, with a particular focus on historical offerings. A 1939 Auto Union Type D covers the pre-war era of Formula One, while a 1967 Lotus 49 and a 1952 Ferrari 375 represent post-war racing. For a modern twist, a Mazda USF2000 car slots in below the Indy Lights car from the Nurburgring booster pack. From here, things get vintage and weird. There are a pair of delightfully offbeat coupes, in the form of a 1974 Toyota Celica GT and a 1973 Ford XB Falcon GT (here's hoping we get a vintage Holden Monaro in the future). Those two are joined by a 1956 Ford F-100, which your author already plans on converting into a dragster with vinyl flames down the side (because that's what all vintage pickups should be). The new ride we're most excited about, though, is the 1983 GMC Vandura G-1500. Yes, that's the van from The A-Team, and we're sure it will prove to be an excellent canvas for the artists of FM5 to cover with airbrushed, fire-breathing unicorns and mystical, gray-haired wizards (or just poorly painted letters that read "Free Candy"). This latest car pack is the final monthly car pack for FM5, although Turn 10 is quick to point out that while the monthly updates are over, there will still be new batches of cars made available to gamers. As for the Hot Wheels pack, it's available now on Xbox Live for $9.99. Scroll down for the press release from Turn 10 Studios, as well as a video of the newest additions to Forza Motorsport 5's vehicle roster. Forza Motorsport 5 Hot Wheels Car Pack Now Available Turn 10 Studios is bringing the Hot Wheels® Car Pack to "Forza Motorsport 5," available for download today. The pack features a collection of vehicles built from the ground up for the new generation that car fans can collect and customize while putting their virtual driving skills to the test.