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24 Hours of Le Mans live update part one

We tasked surfing journalist Rory Parker to watch this year's live stream of the 2016 24 Hours of Le Mans. What follows is an experiment to experience the world's greatest endurance race from the perspective of a motorsports novice with a profanity-laden stream-of-consciousness writing style. Parker lives in Hawaii and spends far more time spearfishing than behind the wheel of a car. Jump ahead to Part Two here, and Part Three here. Big Money and billionaire hobbyists and rockets on wheels. Jets belching French color smoke overhead. Balance of power fuckery. Plenty of water on the ground this morning. Absurdly expensive motorcars lined up in the pissing rain. Fast twitch lunatics behind the wheel. Chomping at the bit. Let's go let's go let's go! Race hasn't even started, Ford #67 maybe dealing with clutch issues. Karma? That beautiful bastard Brad Pitt's out on the track, waving the tricolor flag. It's a standing start in "Noah's Ark" weather and the 2016 24 hours of Le Mans is go! First lap takes place behind the safety car, finished in a record setting 8 minutes 27 seconds. Wrong kind of record maybe, but this is the first time I've set my mind to watching the whole damn race. Feel like I'm part of history. 3:00 AM on Kauai, a little too early for life. Sucking down coffee like a maniac. Don't fall back asleep. Got my hands on four hours of rest, how much more can I need? Better be enough for the next twenty four hours. Gonna get kinda punchy toward the end. Jason Statham on the scene. Four feet of solid muscle, non-existent hairline. Lovely wife peanut gallery sitting next to me calls him the "best race car drive in the world." Not sure if she's serious. Toss up, could go either way. Statham's a funny guy. Heir to the Bruce Willis comedy action crown. Really good in the movie where the fat comedy lady plays a spy. Ford's on the road. Problems with gearbox pressure, apparently. Nearing a half hour in and the safety car is still on the track. Hellish amounts of water on the ground, in the air. Visibility is garbage. Getting better. Twitter wags, "Not with a bang but a whimper." Just building suspense. Mother Nature felt like killing some people today, race officials need to dial back the drivers until it dries a tad. Normal inclination would've seen 'em flying, guaranteed early lap wrecks. Sad news for that bloodthirsty part of my lizard brain I try and keep suppressed. Good news for humanity. #12 in the pit for a bit.

Audi pits S3 against Ur-Quattro on gravel

If you had to pick a winner between the latest Audi S3 and the original Audi Sport Quattro, which would it be? Both hot hatches pack around 300 horsepower and all-wheel drive, but they're separated by a good thirty years of development.
To find out, Audi took both to the old rally circuit in San Remo. Behind the wheel of the Ur-Quattro they put none other than The Stig himself - no, not the Top Gear test bot, but Stig Blomqvist, the Swedish former rally driver who drove the Quattro to the World Rally Championship in the mid-80s. In the S3 they put someone named Hermann Müller, who as best we can tell was one of Auto Union's original Silver Arrow drivers - but he died in 1975, so it's probably the guy who writes for the Audi magazine. Regardless, the contest was pretty close, so it's worth checking out in the 2:26 video clip below.

Translogic 169: Racing against Audi's autonomous RS7

Translogic host Jonathon Buckley heads back to the Ascari Race Resort in Spain for an encounter with a track rival unlike any other. Watch as "Bucko" challenges "Bobby," Audi's autonomous Audi RS7 racecar to see who is quicker around the course. It's a classic tale of "man versus machine" in this episode of Translogic. Follow Translogic on Twitter and Facebook. Click here to subscribe to Translogic in iTunes. Click here to learn more about our host, Jonathon Buckley. Audi Autonomous Vehicles Racing Vehicles Translogic Videos