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24 Hours of Le Mans live update part one

We tasked surfing journalist Rory Parker to watch this year's live stream of the 2016 24 Hours of Le Mans. What follows is an experiment to experience the world's greatest endurance race from the perspective of a motorsports novice with a profanity-laden stream-of-consciousness writing style. Parker lives in Hawaii and spends far more time spearfishing than behind the wheel of a car. Jump ahead to Part Two here, and Part Three here. Big Money and billionaire hobbyists and rockets on wheels. Jets belching French color smoke overhead. Balance of power fuckery. Plenty of water on the ground this morning. Absurdly expensive motorcars lined up in the pissing rain. Fast twitch lunatics behind the wheel. Chomping at the bit. Let's go let's go let's go! Race hasn't even started, Ford #67 maybe dealing with clutch issues. Karma? That beautiful bastard Brad Pitt's out on the track, waving the tricolor flag. It's a standing start in "Noah's Ark" weather and the 2016 24 hours of Le Mans is go! First lap takes place behind the safety car, finished in a record setting 8 minutes 27 seconds. Wrong kind of record maybe, but this is the first time I've set my mind to watching the whole damn race. Feel like I'm part of history. 3:00 AM on Kauai, a little too early for life. Sucking down coffee like a maniac. Don't fall back asleep. Got my hands on four hours of rest, how much more can I need? Better be enough for the next twenty four hours. Gonna get kinda punchy toward the end. Jason Statham on the scene. Four feet of solid muscle, non-existent hairline. Lovely wife peanut gallery sitting next to me calls him the "best race car drive in the world." Not sure if she's serious. Toss up, could go either way. Statham's a funny guy. Heir to the Bruce Willis comedy action crown. Really good in the movie where the fat comedy lady plays a spy. Ford's on the road. Problems with gearbox pressure, apparently. Nearing a half hour in and the safety car is still on the track. Hellish amounts of water on the ground, in the air. Visibility is garbage. Getting better. Twitter wags, "Not with a bang but a whimper." Just building suspense. Mother Nature felt like killing some people today, race officials need to dial back the drivers until it dries a tad. Normal inclination would've seen 'em flying, guaranteed early lap wrecks. Sad news for that bloodthirsty part of my lizard brain I try and keep suppressed. Good news for humanity. #12 in the pit for a bit.

This is the 2017 Audi S4 Avant

As we saw a few months ago, the new S4 sedan (which will go on sale in the US later this year as a 2017 model) ditches the supercharger and adopts turbocharging for its newly-developed V6. It also loses an option for a manual gearbox, and will only be available with an eight-speed automatic. As is the way of such things, the new wagon version (Avant in Audi-speak) doesn't differ from its sedan twin in any substantive mechanical way. There are two major differences. The first is of course the form factor; the second is where it will be sold. This is not an American proposition, so don't hold berate your local Audi dealer. If you want one, move to Europe after it goes on sale later this year. This is a shame, but not a surprise. Audi is in the midst of slotting a CUV into every possible micro-niche it can find, including the upcoming Q2 that the company teased this week. Unfortunately, that means Americans will miss out on the sizable cargo area (17.8 - 53.3 cubic feet, compared to just 17 cu ft in the S4 sedan's trunk) and lower center of gravity when compared to a typical CUV. If you want a S4 Avant here in the States, the closest you can get is the A4-based Allroad, which packs the familiar 2.0-liter TFSI engine and eight-speed auto. Too bad; the S4 Avant is a great-looking wagon. Related Video: Insert your press release here!From 0 to 100 km/h (62.1 mph) in 4.7 seconds with fuel consumption of less than 7.4 liters of fuel per 100 km (31.8 US mpg) – the new Audi S4* and the new Audi S4 Avant* are advancing to the peak of the competitive field with strong performance and exemplary efficiency. Its newly developed turbo V6 engine outputs 260 kW (354 hp). New solutions in networking and assistance systems round out its features. Audi is transferring many technologies from the full-size class into the mid-size class. Lightweight and strong: the 3.0 TFSI The strong heart of the two new S models from Audi is a newly conceptualized 3.0 TFSI engine. The direct gasoline injection engine with turbocharging has an output of 260 kW (354 hp) and produces a hefty torque of 500 Nm (368.8 lb-ft) from 1,370 to 4,500 rpm. In terms of power and torque, it surpasses the previous model while achieving considerably lower figures in weight and fuel consumption. The turbo V6 engine accelerates the Audi S4 from 0 to 100 km/h (62.1 mph) in 4.7 seconds, and on up to an electronically governed top speed of 250 km/h (155.3 mph).

Top Gear names BMW i8 Car of the Year, Corvette, Ferrari, Mercedes also win big

The lads at Top Gear have released their listing of the finest cars of the past year, handing the ultimate honor to BMW's revolutionary i8 plug-in-hybrid supercar. "The i8 is a milestone in the annals of automotive history and a glorious statement for an exciting and positive future. The i8 delivers - and then some," the British mag wrote. The i8, though, was far from the only hybridized car to take victories. James May and Richard Hammond both highlighted hybrids as their personal cars of the year, with May saluting the Ferrari LaFerrari and the Hamster, unsurprisingly, heaping praise on the Porsche 918 Spyder. Jeremy Clarkson, meanwhile, opted to shock many by selecting not only an American car as his best of 2014, but giving the honor to of all things, a Corvette. Clarkson wasn't the only person to honor the USA's iconic sports car, with the new, 650-horsepower Z06 variant being named TG's Muscle Car of the Year. Other big winners include Mercedes-Benz, which TG honored for S-Class Coupe (Luxury Car of the Year), the new AMG GT (Sports Car of the Year) and the not-for-US C-Class Estate (Family Car of the Year). The 458 Italia Speciale A snagged a second win for Ferrari. The best of the rest include the Citroen C4 Cactus, Renault Twingo, Volkswagen Golf R, Lamborghini Huracan and Audi TT. Take a look below for the celebratory press blast from BMW. The BMW i8 wins Top Gear Car of the Year The BMW i8 has been named as Top Gear magazine's global Car of the Year 2014. The plug-in hybrid performance vehicle beat off some stiff competition from a host of other premium and luxury manufacturers to win the overall award. The editorial team of Top Gear commended the BMW i8 for its breadth of abilities. Its 1.5-litre three-cylinder turbocharged petrol engine combined with an electric motor gives searing acceleration and driver enjoyment but all wrapped in a package that takes BMW's EfficientDynamics philosophy to the extreme courtesy of CO2 emissions less than 49g/km and a 135mpg combined cycle figure. Charlie Turner, Editor in Chief at Top Gear magazine, said: "The BMW is a milestone in the annals of automotive history and a glorious statement for an exciting and positive future. The i8 delivers – and then some. It's the kind of car we should celebrate, a beautiful vision of the future, delivered now.